Breathe
by LadyYuina
Summary: -COMPLETE- Kantarou's feelings towards Haruka was that of mutual understanding until his past come back to haunt him in the form of a story. Haruka loves his Master but can he let it be known? AU Sorta...
1. Suzu's Grave

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: This is my first time writing a Tactics story . . . I hope you all like it . . . OOCness is present, I guess . . . I think. I know Kantarou's bracelet is supposed to detect youkai and whatnot but I also used it as a sign as to whether a creature/person would attack him or not - something to that degree . . . Please review, because I'd appreciate it!

REVISED: May 26, 2010

I have seen his named spelled as Kantarou and Kantaro in fanfiction. But I like Kantaro with a "u" at the end (though this is probably incorrect). As for Rosary (I spelled it this way because the fan-subbers had spelled it this way when I had first seen it. This was before it was dubbed officially.) Someone got on my case about the spelling of her name…I never explained to her how I ended up with Rosary though. However, I will correct it. LoL

Breathe  
Chapter 1: Suzu's Grave  
By: LadyYuina

_A lonely boy walked along a dusty road, wondering where all the creatures had gone to. He frowned, asking himself if his presence had scared them off. His mind didn't dwell on that for too long though. Imagination was everything to this child . . . according to the villagers. The boy's belief in creatures of the unknown was simply gibberish amongst the adults. Even to the other children he appeared to be like an enigma._

"_That boy would speak of things that we have never seen or heard of! Has he gone mad!"_

_Ruby-red eyes would narrow ever so slightly, but the eyes were never willing to see._

"_How does his mother and father deal with a child like him?"_

_Mouth drawn out to a thin line, yet a word was never spoken._

"_My son is too scared to play with him . . ."_

_Fingers would curl up, though a punch was never thrown._

_This was the life of Ichi . . ._

Kan-chan!" Youko called. "Kan-chan!"

"In here, Youko! I was in the middle of writing when you interrupted me!" Kantarou peevishly exclaimed. He used his pen to scratch at an itchy spot on his scalp. Staring back down at the page, Kantarou wondered why he decided to write about himself . . . In a story format no less. Should he use his real name? Or make one up?

"You were actually writing?" Youko asked, voice dripping with disbelief. She poked her head around the corner of the shoji screened door, donning fox ears and all.

"Of course." Kantarou presented her with a pen in hand, indicating that he had indeed been writing.

"Well, don't stop. Keep going."

"I would've if you hadn't interrupted me. Now I'm not in the mood to anymore."

"Kan-chan, you lazy mongrel! You can't expect food to appear on the table without money! Seriously . . . write some more!" Kantarou sighed. He wasn't going to tell Youko that his writing wasn't even work related. If he told her she'd surely yell to the point of his ears falling off.

"Where's Haruka?" Kantarou asked, ignoring her demands. Youko groaned in annoyance and glared at her Master, with her fox ears now being straight and rigid on the top of her head. "Is he out in the garden on the rooftop again?"

"Don't ignore me, Kantarou!" Youko yelled, pointing a finger at him as he stood up. He merely looked at her and shrugged. Youko was now fuming but she made no attempt to stop the silver-haired man when he walked past her.

As Kantarou suspected, Haruka was lying on the rooftop basking in the sun like a cat would. When he got up there he found Haruka blankly staring up at the sky. His eyes slowly moved to settle onto that of his Master upon his approach, but his head made no such movement. He smiled and waved - Haruka liked it when he'd smile - it made him feel all warm inside. The feeling was . . . nice.

"I knew you'd be up here," Kantarou said. He sat down next to the black-haired Tengu, who now reverted his attention back to the sky. "It makes me wonder why you always come up here to stare at mass space above this planet. Even when the sky is darkened, being threatened with the chance of rain, you still come up here and gaze at it. It really makes me wonder."

"You think too much. Stop analyzing things so carefully," was the nonchalant reply. Kantarou laughed. Haruka inwardly smiled, because he liked Kantarou's laugh, too. It had a nice pitch to it, not too squeaky or too deep. It was just the right tone for the Tengu's ears. Haruka was happy that Kantarou was his Master, but he wasn't going to openly admit it. He shuddered at the thought of Youko making fun of him, perhaps even Kantarou as well.

"That's part of my job. Besides, being perceptive really comes in handy on some of the cases I take on." Haruka stared at his Master again, but he didn't notice because he was still busy looking at the sky. A light breeze gently lifted his silver hair, making it sparkle in the sunlight. Far up in the clouds Kantarou could make out a small butterfly fluttering along. "Say, how long has it been since Suzu's death . . .?"

Haruka frowned, for when he saw his Master unhappy or sad it bothered him. He wanted to reach out and touch the man, yet he refrained from doing so. Instead, he said, "about four months."

"Wow . . . I didn't realize that much time had passed already. I think I'll go visit her grave one of these days." Kantarou looked down towards Haruka, though his gaze was not directed towards his face. Haruka's frown deepened.

"You miss her?" Kantarou nodded, not bothering to hide what he was feeling this time. "I see."

"She was annoying most of the time, but she was a very bright girl. I'm glad she had lived as long as she did. It goes to show that she had the will to survive. Remember that day? Even after death she tried to act like nothing was wrong . . . When I realized it, I pitied her . . . Was that wrong of me?"

Haruka made no notion to answer. He let the question settle, which in turn would eventually fade away. A flock of birds flew by them overhead and a thought came to Haruka.

"Kantarou."

"Yes, Haruka?" Kantarou answered. Haruka sat up and looked at him, wondering if he should say what he wanted to say . . .

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."

Still not looking at Haruka, Kantarou asked, "something the matter?"

"I was thinking about flying. Going to hang out somewhere for a while."

"Go ahead, you have my permission. Just be back before dinnertime, okay?" When Haruka did not take flight did the silver-haired man finally look at him. His deep set, red orbs held great pain in their murky depths, but they were soon swept away with a blink of the eye. It was for the briefest of moments - Haruka did not let it go unchecked. "Haruka, I said you have my permission, get going already."

"I will." Haruka stood up while Kantarou remained seated. Not worried about what his Master's reaction would be, Haruka swept Kantarou up in his arms and took off into the air.

"H-hey! Haruka! What are you doing!" Kantarou squirmed. Haruka sweat dropped, warning him that if he kept thrashing around like that, he was going to fall. Kantarou stopped immediately as he wrapped his arms around Haruka's neck. And Haruka closed his eyes, relishing the feel of Kantarou's arms around him. He held onto him tightly as he flew, promising himself that he'd never let his Master fall.

After a brief bout of silence. "Are you angry with me?" Haruka asked, curious to know.

Kantarou shook his head. "I'm not mad, just . . . a little surprised, that's all. Did you have somewhere in mind you wanted to go to or are you simply going to keep flying around?"

"Where would you like to go?"

This question caught him by complete surprise, and Kantarou's eyes widened. Haruka couldn't help but smile at his Master's cute expression. He adored it. Surprise - this was something he was never going to get tired of eliciting from his Master.

"Uh . . . well, I . . . I don't really know," Kantarou replied. "Let's just go back; Youko is expecting me to continue to write even though I doubt I can."

"Since when have you started to yield to Youko's wishes?" Haruka asked, slightly amused. "You're usually so against it."

"Well, maybe I feel like listening to Youko for once. I am tired of eating the same old rice and miso soup everyday, with the occasional tiny fried sardine." A few moments went by before Kantarou realized that Haruka wasn't heading home. "Where are we going?"

"Suzu's grave. Now is a good time as any to go visit," Haruka reasoned. Kantarou nodded and remained silent for the rest of the trip. Haruka hoped this was the only reason that his Master was feeling down.

"Before we actually go there I'd like to buy her some flowers." Haruka shook his head, thus making Kantarou frown disapprovingly. "Why not? I feel that it's rude to not bring something."

"It's okay, Kantarou. I'm sure Suzu wouldn't want any flowers. We Tengu believe that things like that will go on into the afterlife. It's best if she doesn't remember us."

"That's some bogus story, Haruka. Shouldn't things be sent off to the other realm at the time of the person's death?" Kantarou quizzed.

"I don't believe in human customs - I'll believe what all Tengu believe in." Haruka started to slow as they neared the grave site. Kantarou started walking as soon as he was set down.

"Believe what you want, Haruka. I'm going to go gather some flowers in the nearby area. I'll be back."

"I should go with you-"

"Don't worry. I'm not a kid, I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself."

"According to a Tengu's aging system, in retrospect I am much older than you. To us, you'd still be considered a baby."

Kantarou laughed as he continued to walk. He faded out of view when he entered through a patch of bushes. Haruka held a motive to follow his Master but decided not to. After all that's happened to Kantarou, he was sure that he could handle himself. Haruka sat down where he was and waited.

* * *

Kantarou hummed a tune that he learned from Suzu as he looked around for flowers. When Suzu was sent away, Kantarou didn't cry - he didn't even look as sad as he had wanted to show. After a while of her absence he broke down completely, but Haruka and Youko never knew about it. Thinking back to it now, Kantarou thought it was best that they never found out.

Did my longing for Suzu's childish presence force me to write about myself? It sounds rather silly but I can't think of any other explanation for it. Am I trying to leave a legacy of myself behind? Would anyone want to read it?

Once Kantarou had gathered all the flowers that he wanted he started to head back. Reaching the bushes that he had gone through Kantarou decided to peek in on Haruka to see what he was doing before making himself known. Kantarou pushed apart some shrubs to see.

* * *

Haruka was sitting down on the spot that he was last standing upon. He nonchalantly stretched his wings and yawned - Kantarou stifled a chuckle. Seeing Haruka act like a bored old man was too good of a sight to give up. His muffled chuckles ceased when he heard someone speak from behind him.

"Ichinomiya Kantarou . . ."

The silver-haired man turned around to see a beautiful woman looking at him intently. The woman had dark, long, flowing hair and eyes as golden brown as a fiery copper coin. She was clothed in a long green shawl that covered her from her shoulders to her waist. Beneath this was a black, loose fitting dress that had intricate designs on the hem. What appeared to be on her head was a witches' hat, though Kantarou doubted she was a real witch.

"That's me . . ." Kantarou answered. His bracelet jingled gently, telling him that this mysterious woman was not going to attack him anytime soon (given if she had any intent to). "Can I help you with something?"

"Write. This is all I ask of you. Write."

Kantarou's brows furrowed, confused by this woman's request. It then dawned on him that she probably was a fan of his written works. He smiled, saying, "if you're a fan of mine you'll have to wait for my next article. I'll admit this only to you: the fun part is the exploring, and the boring part is the actual writing!" The woman did not laugh as she continued to stare at him.

"Such a trivial matter does not concern me," she replied. Kantarou sweat dropped, placing a hand behind his head as he laughed nervously. The woman eyed the bracelet on his wrist. "That bracelet . . ."

"This?" Kantarou put his wrist out, allowing her to have a better look. The bells started to jingle more vigorously when the woman's expression changed. Her face, once calm indifference was now believably concealed anger. Kantarou sensed the sudden possible danger he was in. "Who are you?"

"My name you need not know. Until next time." A black ball of energy emerged from the ground, engulfing her. Kantarou watched as the ball dispersed, leaving behind a small trail of smoke to rise up towards the sky.

"Who was that woman? Her aura was concealed well - I didn't even realize . . . She can't be some common demon . . ."

* * *

When Kantarou made it back to the gravesite, Haruka acted as if he didn't notice him. One of the other things he liked about his Master was when he threw his arms around him to try and surprise him as he shouted, 'gotcha!' Haruka waited - nothing happened. He waited some more, and still nothing happened.

"Where's Kantarou?" he mused out loud.

* * *

Turning around he saw the silver-haired man standing by a tombstone. He was looking at it while scratching at his head. Haruka wondered what was the matter. He made his way towards him.

"What are you doing, Kantarou?" Haruka asked, peering at the tombstone his Master seemed to be so engrossed upon. The name read, 'Kimishiro Dirina'. Quite an unusual first name for a Japanese person. Hmmm, or rather, is she even Japanese? By any chance, do you think you might know this person?"

"No, but I feel as if I've met her before. Her name sounds real familiar, though I can't recall where I've heard it." Kantarou now placed a hand beneath his chin as he engaged himself in deep thought.

Haruka's gaze fell onto the flowers in Kantarou's left hand. He wanted to remind him to go visit Suzu's grave but he didn't say anything. Kantarou groaned in frustration when he couldn't come up with a valid answer to appease himself. The black-haired Tengu was intrigued to see his Master struggling to remember someone that he himself simply could not remember.

"Kantarou, we should head to Suzu's grave now." Kantarou stopped fuming and heaved a sigh. Whether it was out of relief or annoyance, Haruka wasn't too sure. And not to mention he looked as if he completely forgot the whole reason he was here. "Could it be you've forgotten?"

"Hahahaha, I guess you could say that . . ." Kantarou sweat dropped. "Let's go there now then! I'll chant her a spirits' prayer!"

"What kind?"

"The one for when one's spirit passes over the bridge to reach Heaven's doors. This is one of my favorites," Kantarou told him. This was something new; Kantarou never really talked about spiritual chants much, so it was surprising to find out he even had a favorite one. The flower was placed down upon Suzu's tombstone despite Haruka's (weak) protests.

"Just because you're my Master, don't always expect to get your way," Haruka coolly warned.

Kantarou who was now grinning, grinned even wider. "Try me." He planted both hands on either side of his hips - his eyes blazing with the passion for competing.

Haruka merely shrugged, while saying, "I'll pass."

"Scared to go against me?" Kantarou taunted.

"No."

"Then come on!"

"We're at Suzu's grave. Show some respect." Kantarou looked at the tombstone and slapped a hand to his forehead. Now it was Haruka's turn to smirk. "I win."

"Eehhhhhh! What do you mean you win!" Kantarou thrust his face towards the Tengu's.

"Just chant."

"Oh! Right, right . . ." Kantarou muttered.

Chapter 1: END


	2. Troublemaker

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Here is the second chapter. Hope ya'll enjoy and please give me feedback. You know I'll appreciate it!

REVISED: May 27, 2010

Wow, feels weird re-reading this after a few years has gone by. I'm not as embarrassed about it as I thought I would be. XD

Breathe  
Chapter 2: Troublemaker  
By: LadyYuina

I guess it should be me. There's no point in pretending when I know the truth.

_This was the life of Ichinomiya Kantarou. He was bestowed with this magnificent gift that all others either feared or despised him for. As a child he didn't have any human friends - youkai were the ones he knew he could turn to. However, despite this accommodation, there were youkai that disapproved of this sort of bond just as the humans did. _

"_A human shouldn't interact with a youkai! We are of not the same kind!"_

_Kantarou knew better than anyone that he was a misplaced being within this world. Suffice to say, he at times wished that he didn't exist. He . . ._

"Arrrggghhhh . . . I give up; this is too depressing." Kantarou placed his pen down and re-read his writing. "Feelings flowing into words on paper . . . hmmm."

"Here's your tea, Kan-chan." As Youko entered his room Kantarou made sure to keep the sheet of paper hidden from her view. For as long as Youko has been with him even she didn't know about his past. She had asked . . . several times before, but his answer was always the same.

"Thank you, Youko. It's the usual, right?" he asked. She nodded. "Good."

"Kan-chan."

Kantarou took a sip of his tea before saying, "yes?"

"Haruka told me about . . . about yesterday. He told me-"

"It's okay, Youko, I was a little emotional, that's all."

Youko frowned as she clutched tightly at the tea tray she was carrying. Kantarou was acting as if it wasn't a big deal. Whenever Kantarou cried it was always a big deal since he rarely shed tears. Youko's Master continued to sip his tea without acknowledging the fox youkai's presence any further.

"Kan-chan, you-"

"Don't even start with me, Youko," Kantarou warned, giving her the eye. Youko gulped when noted how chilling of a glare he was showing her. It made her wonder if he was mad at Haruka now.

It was not like Youko to back down when she battled it out with words, but this time she was going to let it be. Did Suzu's death affect Kantarou this badly? Haruka was really concerned . . . what should they do? "Um . . . I'm gonna get out then. . ."

When Youko left his room, Kantarou sighed and placed both of his hands to his forehead. He was touched by Youko's concern, and yet he also despised it. It was easy for the silver-haired man to deal with matters of the heart - ones that did not pertain to him were considerably easy. But when it came to him he was like the biggest grown baby in the world. Sorting through his heart was like going through a messy jig-saw puzzle.

* * *

Haruka was at his usual post - the rooftop. His mind went adrift as he looked to the sky above him. Kantarou's reaction yesterday was not abnormal at all, but the silver-haired man's disregard for his own feelings about the issue bothered the dark-winged Tengu.

From a distance Haruka picked up the sound of Muu-chan's voice. It rung out loud and clear. He knew that her aim for the day was to sit and snuggle with Kantarou. The Tengu didn't know whether she was trying to cheat on her husband or make him jealous for the fun of it all. Haruka was slightly ticked off now, his own musings causing his annoyance to surface. There was no way he was going to let Muu-chan take his Kantarou away from him.

"Muuuuu! Mu, mu, muuuuuu!" Muu-chan was like a hurdling ball of green light energy when Haruka caught sight of her. Her beady black eyes sparkled with determination today - Sugino, her husband, was not going to interfere this time. Muu-chan smiled, knowing that her husband was chained down safely at home.

:BACK AT MUU-CHAN'S HOME:

"Muu-chan, how could you do this to me! Your own husband!" Sugino struggled under the embrace of the magical chains. Muu-chan looked like a simple, carefree creature but in actuality she possessed strong magic that only Sugino knew about. Perhaps that was what he found so loveable about her - her powerful magic easily overrode his own. Now . . . now Sugino regretted ever praising it . . . His dearest Muu-chan used her oppressive magic upon her own kin, her love and husband, her other half.

"Muu-chaannnn!" Sugino's cry could be heard for miles around. Birds frightened by the sudden shout took off into the air from amongst the treetops.

:BACK TO HARUKA:

From his position on the roof, Haruka grimaced when he heard his Master yelp in surprise. Muu-chan could be heard also. Based on the sounds, Haruka suspected Muu-chan hurdled herself onto Kantarou, causing him to shout out in surprise over the green youkai's affectionate nuzzling.

"I better go check this out."

Haruka set foot into Kantarou's room to see his Master laughing, as he said, "Muu-chan, you made a hole in my bedroom wall! You naughty youkai!"

Haruka sweat dropped then, because he wanted Kantarou to say that to him. Only him. Not in a angry way but in an affectionate way, in a way where lovers disciplined each other. He'd love it if Kantarou disciplined him like such . . . with love.

Muu-chan looked to the Tengu, which, like a chain reaction, made Kantarou do the same. The raven-haired creature stared back at them dumbly, not quite sure what to do or say since he barged in on them. Muu-chan broke the untimely silence.

"Mu-mu, muuu, mu," Muu-chan spoke. She got off Kantarou's lap and patted the man on his shoulder. Kantarou blinked a couple of times, wondering what was going on.

"Kantarou-"

"What is all that noise?" Haruka was interrupted by Youko as she appeared onto the scene. Youko looked to the wall and gaped. Her fox ears popped out, stiff as a nail board. "Who made a hole in the wall! Now we need to waste money to fix it!"

"Calm down, Youko, I'm sure Muu-chan didn't mean to break it," Kantarou blurted.

"So this was Muu-chan's doing, eh? I'll see to it that her husband pays for the damage," Youko replied. She strapped up the magenta-colored sleeves of her kimono with a cloth rope before getting to work on picking up the crumbled wall pieces that littered the bedroom floor. Turning her head around, Youko added, "you two can at least help me, Kan-chan and Haruka. Besides, it's your room, Master Ichinomiya!"

"I think I'll go write something outside. I need to get some work done anyway," Kantarou said. He stood up to leave but Haruka blocked his way. "Excuse me, Haruka."

"Don't think you can always get your way just because you are our Master," Haruka reminded him/

"There's nothing you can do to stop me from leaving," Kantarou countered.

Haruka raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that so?"

"Damn right."

Haruka felt he wasn't going to regret doing this (for obvious reasons) . . . Coming closer to his Master, the Tengu slid his hand down Kantarou's gi and brushed a hand over his bellybutton. Kantarou's reaction was to pull back as he tugged Haruka's hand out. His face was beet red just like Youko's. Muu-chan watched with avid interest.

"H-Haruka, what are you trying to do!" Kantarou exclaimed, backing up some more. His blush deepened when he saw Haruka smirk.

"Get to work, Kantarou," Haruka said. Still blushing, Kantarou did as he was told. The black-winged Tengu inwardly groaned - Kantarou's reaction was easy to predict, but now that he had gone and done it, the thought of 'I won't regret it' was beginning to fade away. He couldn't help but 'now' feel he overstepped Kantarou's boundaries, thus distancing himself a bit more from his Master, when all he actually wanted to do was get closer.

"Haruka, you need to help, too," Kantarou whined. His cheeks were no longer red, but when Haruka got close he scooted a good three inches away.

* * *

Kantarou rubbed at Muu-chan's head as she nuzzled him in the abdomen. Youko and Haruka sat across from the two, watching as the human and youkai interacted. Youko nudged Haruka and raised her eyebrows when the black-haired Tengu looked to her - he merely shrugged and shook his head. Youko had the mindset to notice that Haruka was in love with their Master and Kantarou was oblivious to the fact . . . Or did he just not care . . .?

"Where's Sugino, Muu-chan?" Kantarou asked.

"Muuu-mu-mu, muuu," Muu-chan replied. She moved her tiny arms up and down for emphasis. Kantarou looked to Haruka expectantly.

"What?" Haruka asked.

"Translate, will you?"

"She said he's at home watching over the place while she went out."

"Odd, Sugino has never done that before; usually he'd come after Muu-chan if he found out she went missing," Kantarou reasoned. He removed Muu-chan from his lap as he stood up. The bells on his bracelet started jingling; it was very faint and wasn't audible to the ears, but it could be felt by touch.

"Mu?" Muu-chan looked up at him.

Without looking at the others, Kantarou made his way out of the room and into the garden. Haruka made a move to follow, but Youko stopped him with a discerning shake of her head. Haruka did not know what overcame their Master - it was so sudden, yet, it looked like Youko understood. After all, she has been with Kantarou far longer than he has. Muu-chan was about to follow after Kantarou too when Youko grabbed her by the scruff of her neck. Muu-chan looked at her questioningly.

"Kan-chan needs some time alone . . . This may sound weird but Kan-chan rarely has these moments anymore. I'm surprised it's happening again, because ever since he met you, Haruka, it hadn't happened since."

"In other words . . . Is there something bothering him right now?" Haruka crossed his arms together and frowned when Youko told him she didn't know what was causing his distress. "I believe Suzu's death might be the problem. I've never seen Kantarou cry before except yesterday, but . . ."

"Kan-chan has a tendency to cry sooner or later after he's lost a loved one or cherish posession," Youko informed him.

While Haruka and Youko were talking they didn't notice that Muu-chan had slipped out of the room. Being the little troublemaker that she was, Muu-chan started to search for Kantarou. To her dismay, he was nowhere to be found. She made sure to look through the house thoroughly.

:BACK AT MUU-CHAN'S HOME:

"If I can slip this arm out I'll be able to free myself . . .!" Sugino licked his lips as he fumbled around with his chained down arms. The white-winged youkai gasped with relief when he finally freed his left arm. Now it was much easier to escape his confinement to the kitchen table. "Muu-chan, I won't forgive so easily this time!"

* * *

Kantarou found himself wandering back to the gravesite. Before heading towards Suzu's grave, Kantarou decided to go behind the bushes again. To his surprise he found the woman from yesterday already occupying the area. Kantarou's actions from just moments ago were connected to this woman - she had called for him. Kantarou knew that whatever Youko thought of his sudden absence was wrong . . . It was predictable as to what she told Haruka . . .

"You have finally arrived," the mysterious woman said. "You're pretty quick on your feet."

Kantarou's bracelet started to shake again and it was even more faint than last time; he could barely sense it. "Those eyes . . . By any chance, have we met before?" He wasn't exactly sure why he was asking this, but all of a sudden, it was as if nostalgia hit him hard.

"Of course, yesterday was when we met," she replied.

"Gah! Err . . . that wasn't what I meant . . . I should rephrase that!" A strong gust of wind blew by, forcing Kantarou to shield his eyes. The woman, however, looked unhindered and untouched by the breeze. When Kantarou looked up she was nowhere to be seen. "Huh? Where did she go?"

Kantarou turned around to come face to face with none other than his black-haired Tengu, Haruka. He towered over the other man's small frame, unwavering. Before Kantarou could say anything Haruka hugged his Master to himself. He wanted nothing more than to take away Kantarou's pain. He had never felt so much love for someone before (especially a human). If this was destiny, then he knew his destiny was a good one.

Wrapping his own arms around the Tengu, hesitantly, yet firmly afterwards, Kantarou asked, "Haruka, what's the matter?"

"I should be asking you that," Haruka replied. "What is causing you pain? Are you still clinging onto Suzu?" Kantarou buried his face into Haruka's right shoulder then - his life was much more messed up than he thought it was. Now, taking comfort from Haruka didn't seem like an embarrassing thought - his shoulder felt soothing and warm. Whatever action he did earlier was forgiven. "What can I do to help you release this hurt?"

"You're really concerned about me, aren't you?" Kantarou tightened his grip ever so slightly. In response, Haruka held on all the more fiercely; he wanted to tell him there and then that he loved him, but despite the overwhelming urge to confess he knew this wasn't the time and place to. Haruka reluctantly let go when Kantarou tried to move away. The silver-haired man sighed as he looked at the Tengu. "You must be wondering what I'm doing here, huh?"

"More or less."

"I came here to see someone but she's gone now. There was something I wanted to ask her, though I didn't get the chance to . . ."

Haruka's first reaction was jealousy. He wanted to hammer Kantarou with personal questions but what was the point? In his eyes he couldn't see Kantarou loving him the way he did. What would other Tengu think of this? What would other youkai think of this? Muu-chan? Sugino?

* * *

Youko's fox ears perked up when she picked up someone's shouting, though from this distance it was incoherent. The fox youkai cringed when Muu-chan started running in circles, shouting as she did so.

"Sugino must be coming . . . Great . . ." Youko waited for the worst to happen. Peering out of Kantarou's bedroom hole in the wall she could make out Sugino and Haruka in the distance. She burst out laughing when she caught sight of her Master; he was being carried by Sugino. The white-winged youkai was heading towards their home. Haruka looked as though he was ready to tear Sugino up alive, but made no such move (of course).

"Muu-chan, I'm coming! I'm going to settle this once and for all!" Sugino shouted.

Chapter 2: END


	3. You Owe Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Don't worry, **Yuki**, as long as I get reviews coming in I will continue this story. I mean, it would be pointless to continue if I received no feedback, right? Likewise, everyone, please keep leaving reviews for me, I'd appreciate it!

REVISED: June 9, 2010

I hardly, if ever, will edit/remove my previous Author's Notes. Only the text of the story, in case anyone is wondering. If I have more A/N to add for whatever reasons, I shall place em' right here.

Breathe  
Chapter 3: You Owe Me  
By: LadyYuina

Kantarou scratched out the last line of his (not too well written) article. He was hung up on the fact that he wasn't going to finish in time before his editor arrived. What a pain . . . She was surely going to shove her foot down his throat. Youko's cheering wasn't helping either. She donned a headband with folding fans labeled "good luck" in each hand. Her little good luck dance was grating on his nerves.

"Kan-chan, Kan-chan, do your best! Youko is here! Finish the rest! Good luck! Good luck to you!" Youko chanted, as if possessed. At the moment, Kantarou wanted nothing more than to disappear into thin air. By all means, he simply wanted to get away from Youko and avoid Reiko. It also didn't help that Sugino and Muu-chan were staying over. Sugino, the hard-headed husband, refused to leave his wife here alone - him and his paranoia of infidelity.

"Youko, can you stop cheering . . . It isn't helping me at all," Kantarou explained.

"Don't say that, Kan-chan!" Youko scolded, giving her Master a toothy grin. "You know my cheering helps you a lot!"

"Gives me a headache, you mean . . ." Kantarou muttered. Youko stopped cheering to ask him to speak up. "It's nothing to worry about; I was mumbling to myself."

"Muu-chan, don't go in there!" Both Kantarou and Youko heard Sugino say. It seemed like his voice was getting closer. Kantarou knew that at any moment Muu-chan would fly into his arms, and Sugino (as usual) would get on his case about touching his wife. As expected, she threw herself upon the sliver-haired man, knocking him over. Kantarou groaned in discomfort when he realized he cracked his back.

"Mu-muuu!" Muu-chan shouted.

"Muu-chan, not now," Kantarou ushered. He needed to finish his article. Looking at the clock he realized he only had twenty minutes to left to finish. Kantarou sweat dropped . . . He had already delayed his past articles way too many times to delay this one. "Muu-chan, I'm really busy right now. Go spend some time with your husband?" Muu-chan defiantly shook her head - being stubborn as always.

Sugino came into the room then, green eyes blazing with heated jealousy. He pointed a finger at Kantarou accusingly, "you've stolen Muu-chan from me too many times now! It's time that she should come back to me for good!"

"She's your wife, Sugino . . . I would never take her away from you. As a matter of fact, you and Muu-chan ought to go home. Try not to visit too often, all right?" Kantarou said. Kantarou knew it'd be better for him if he rid himself of Muu-chan and the white-winged youkai.

"We'll gladly leave . . . I don't even want to visit you! I'd rather see Haruka or Youko instead of you!" Sugino declared. He took off into the air as he carried his small wife in his arms, and for a moment Kantarou thought of her as a cuddly alien toy. What Sugino said hurt . . . Kantarou has heard of rebuttals before but hearing it coming from a youkai like Sugino was horrifying. The white winged-youkai wasn't just some common youkai and for him to hate Kantarou . . .

Kantarou didn't realize he was trembling until Youko patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. The spiritualist let out a dry laugh . . . He had thought he'd grown past this issue. Sadly, he was proven wrong. Picking up his pen, Kantarou began to madly scribble on the paper. Youko watched him with proud admiration. Her Master was finally motivated enough to finish his work. No more fish and rice at night! They were gonna get some steak! However, the fox youkai's smile faded when she saw what Kantarou was writing.

"Kan-chan! You're just writing nonsense! Reiko won't accept that!" Youko cried. She tried to snatch away his paperwork but Kantarou was too fast. "Kan-chan! Give me that! You can't hand that in to her!"

"Don't worry, all is fine. Trust me," Kantarou told her. Youko sighed in distress - somehow, Kantarou suddenly became all too easy going. She didn't like it at all. "Reiko should be here soon." Handing the document to the fox youkai, he added, "give this to her when she arrives, I'm going out."

"Whhhaaaattttt!" Youko shrieked. "You're going to let me deal with Reiko?"

"Correct. You told me to hand you the paper, didn't you?" Youko cringed, because she 'did' indeed say that. "See you later!"

* * *

"That was irresponsible-" Kantarou shushed the agitated Tengu by clamping a hand over his mouth. He shook his head disapprovingly to signify that he didn't want to hear it. "Ka . . . n . . . turu . . ."

"What was that?" Kantarou asked, coyly smiling. "Did you say canopy? Sashimi perhaps? I could really go for some sashimi right now. Your treat, okay?"

Haruka sighed, Kantarou was being difficult again. He pushed his Master's hand away from his mouth. Kantarou walked on ahead while Haruka growled in frustration. To him, it seemed rather silly to try to escape one's problems when one knew you couldn't. It'd always catch up to you sooner or later . . . What can be bothering that emotional maniac now?

By the time Haruka caught up to the spiritualist he had already ordered two platefuls of sashimi with sweet sauce - whatever kind he didn't know. The Tengu knew for a fact that he had no money - surely Kantarou knew that? "Kantarou, you do know that I have no money?"

"You . . . you don't?" Kantarou looked dumbstruck. It seemed like he was really spacing out. "Crap . . . I don't have any money either! You should have told me before I ordered anything! In a place like this once you order something they won't take it back! What are we gonna do now?"

"You brought this upon yourself so you handle it."

"You're a Tengu, so you're supposed to help me," Kantarou whined. "I'm your Master after all . . ."

"Not in matters such as this one. I only deal with demons, not money issues," Haruka replied.

* * *

"What exactly is this rubbish supposed to be, Youko?" Reiko asked, eyes as sharp as a hawk's. "You didn't write this, did you?"

"Of course not! If I were to write I would have done a much better job, unlike Kantarou who likes to write bull."

"Hehe, well said, Youko. Now, tell me where Kantarou is . . . I know he'd hiding here somewhere." Reiko placed the papers down on the living room table as she started her search for him. "I wonder why I even work with that guy. Odd, isn't it? Despite his annoying habits of delaying work and incomplete articles I still like working with him . . ."

"I guess you're right . . . I like working with him too." Not to mention that I'm a slave of his! Well, more like a servant. Bah! They're the same thing! Kantarou is Kantarou, I'll stick by him no matter what he does. "Oh yeah . . . your searching is pointless . . . he isn't home."

Reiko let out a huff of air while brushing her brown hair over her shoulders. Her eyes started to water. Youko knew that she was going into her so called 'whiny mode'. "How can Kantarou do this to me! The boss is going to be so mad! I work my butt off for him! He should be grateful! All he ever does is stay home; writing can't be that difficult, can it!"

"Beats me . . ." Though he does have clients who need a ghost/demon buster so that takes up some of his time. Does Kantarou get writer's block too . . .?

"What does he exactly do all day?" Reiko asked.

"Um . . . As of late I guess he's been moping . . . over Suzu . . ." Youko's fox ears popped out momentarily, though she willed them away before the editor caught sight of them. "It's really out of the blue, since she's been dead for four months."

"I see . . . That's understandable," Reiko said in a low voice. Instantly changing tones, she shouted, "but that doesn't help me one bit! I don't mean to sound like a irritated bitch against someone who's grieving, but she has died four months ago! Kantarou needs to move on and rewrite me my damn article!" She sat down in a determined state of mind, telling Youko that she wasn't going to leave until Kantarou got his share of the workload finished.

"Well now, would you like some tea while we wait? It's not very strong, but still, I hope you'll enjoy it," Youko offered.

"That's fine with me. Tea helps me calm down."

"Right."

* * *

"This is all your fault, Haruka . . . now we owe the man." Kantarou pulled at his hair in a annoyed manner - he hated wasting money when he didn't have any to waste to begin with. His hands were already full with Reiko, and now he had to add the restaurant owner in too. Money really does not grow on trees . . .

"Don't blame me for your petty mistakes. You assumed I had money. I never said I did," Haruka countered. They glared at each other, and if you looked carefully and closely you could see magnetic sparks coming out of their eyes - battling one another. When Haruka had enough he simply looked away with a haughty turn of his head.

"Hey! Look at me! I'm your Master!" Kantarou demanded.

"You can't always get your way, Kantarou. I'll see you back at home when you've cooled down a bit." Haruka smiled as he walked away. He decided he liked the word 'home', because it made him feel as if he belonged. Kantarou turned around and walked his own way - the opposite direction of the Tengu. He knew he was acting like a spoiled brat, although . . .

"I'm feeling more depressed . . . Why is that? I can't really explain it . . ." Kantarou let out a sympathetic laugh - a laugh that was reserved only for him; no one else. "I feel as if the world is crushing me."

"Write . . . All I ask of you is to write."

Kantarou narrowed his eyes and looked around. Her voice reverberated behind him, but it seemed like no one else noticed or heard it. The bells on his bracelet started to jingle gently, the sound being very faint. Could it be that woman again? Can it be her? This voice sounds rather different . . .? Kantarou's keen sense for the unknown was fully on alert mode. However, as soon as Haruka arrived Kantarou's bracelet stopped rattling, and the sound of the woman's voice had all but disappeared as well.

"I . . . err . . . came to get you," the Tengu told his Master.

"That was awfully fast . . ."

"Huh? It took me ten minutes to get back here." Haruka gave Kantarou a funny look. "Reiko insisted . . ."

Ten minutes? But . . . it only felt like a minute has gone by. What was that odd presence I was feeling before? Did Haruka feel it? "Hey, Haruka, did you feel someone's presence here just now?"

"No."

Kantarou clutched at his bracelet, frowning as he did so. The odd feeling slowly subsided, but it left him with a urge to write . . . "Haruka, let's go home. I'm ready to leave."

"Reiko is going to kill you," Haruka warned. "Ready to face her?" Kantarou nodded, looking really distracted. Haruka noticed that there was a twinkle in his eyes - whenever that twinkle came up it meant that Kantarou had the urge to write. Haruka smiled, glad to see his Master wanted to redo the article.

* * *

"I'm home!" Kantarou called out, hopping out of his wooden sandals.

Reiko's eyes flared up angrily. She went towards the entrance of the house to confront the spiritualist. "Kantarou, I demand that you rewrite the article now! I have to turn it in by tomorrow afternoon! What you wrote before was gibberish! it doesn't even make sense! You also kept mentioning a girl named Dirina . . . Is she a key person to this particular article?"

"No . . ." Kantarou scratched the side of his head as he thought things over. He nearly fell over when Reiko shouted at him again - she could be really loud when she wanted to be. "Sheesh . . .calm down, Reiko! I heard you the first time!"

"Get to work then, because I don't have all day to wait!" she hollered back.

"Give me the article then." Reiko slapped it into his open palms with such livid force that it made Kantarou's hands sting from the impact. She smirked when he winced in pain. He glared daggers at her, but she didn't see because she had already turned her back to him (to hide her now ever-broadening smile).

"Hustle, hustle, Kan-chan!" Youko urged, steering Kantarou into his room. Once he was inside she went out and closed the door behind her. Kantarou looked at the door for a moment before settling down before his desk.

"I can do this!" He picked up his pen to write, but no matter how hard he tried though his hand refused to process his thoughts about the article clearly. His mind was elsewhere. He kept thinking about the story he was writing about - the story of his life. "Focus on the article . . . Kantarou . . . that other thing can wait . . . right?"

Despite what little encouragement he said to himself he found it hard to not grab the sheet of papers and continue writing where he last left off. The story was going to continue . . . Reiko's article, sadly, had to wait its turn . . .

_He . . . He knew that he'd believe youkai existed no matter what anyone else said. However, his fascination for Tengu, a certain type of youkai, didn't surface until he met this one peculiar monk. The monk went by the name of Nanao Hidetoshi, and he told the boy everything he knew about Tengu. Kantarou absorbed everything he said like his life depended on it . . . Kantarou's new goal was to meet a Tengu no matter how long it would take._

"_Are you leaving, monk Nanao?" the silver-haired boy asked._

"_Yes. I'd like to stay but the road beckons for me to go. I'm sorry, Kantarou."_

"_Uh-uh! Don't be! I've learned a lot from you! Thank you for telling me everything you know about Tengu. I'll spend the rest of my days if I have to," the boy found he was welling up with tears, ". . . to find one!" Monk Nanao let out a hearty laugh and smiled. _

"_Do you believe I will succeed?" The monk nodded. "I feel honored to have met you, monk Nanao! I'll . . . I'll never forget you!" _

"_As of you. You'll always have a place in my heart. Goodbye, now." Muttering under his breath, the monk added, "I'm sure Dirina will remember you too."_

"Huh? Dirina? How did she suddenly appear in my story like that? Did monk Nanao really say that?" Kantarou placed his pen on his desk and looked at his hand. "What made me write…?" I recall seeing her grave, and yet it still puzzles me that I can't remember her, only her name.

Kantarou's curiosity was growing by the second. If he kept writing his life's story he was bound to unravel some answers to his past. He, at earnest wanted to continue but since he stopped, he begrudgingly surrendered himself over to Reiko's article - hands down. To the silver-haired man's mild consternation, he didn't finish Reiko's source of income (as well as his own) until morning. It was pretty much an all night project. Completely exhausted, Kantarou only had the strength to hand it to his editor until he collapsed onto the floor before her.

"Kantarou!" Haruka started, kneeling by his Master's side.

"He's just tired. Serves him right for ignoring this. Thank him for me when he wakes up. Bye, guys."

"Bye, Reiko!" Youko called after her. When Reiko was gone, Youko said, "once we get some money we can get some better food for a while!"

"Don't count on it." Haruka lifted Kantarou up into his arms. Youko looked at him inquiringly. "He owes this restaurant we went to yesterday some money."

"Whhhaaattttt! That Kantarou! Why does he do this to us!" Youko wailed. Bright blue eyes threatened to spill over with tears of agony. Haruka sweat dropped as he excused himself while he carried Kantarou to his room.

Once placed on his futon, Haruka had the mind to kiss him good night even though it was morning, but likewise, he refrained from doing so. He had no right to touch his Master that way unless it was allowed . . .

When will he let me . . .?

Chapter 3: END


	4. Anagrams Anyone?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: I'm glad that you all are liking my story so far. It makes me happy to receive positive feedback, they really motivate me! Keep it up, hm?

Anagrams are words where its letters can be used to spell other words to make a different meaning. Like 'nap' can become the word 'pan', 'rescued' can become 'secured', 'seducer'. There are really tough ones out there, but I simply gave you two easy ones. XD

REVISED: June 24, 2010

Breathe  
Chapter 4: Anagrams Anyone?  
By: LadyYuina

Kantarou awoke with a start - someone had the indecency to place a cold object on his chest. Looking at his attacker with half-lidded eyes he saw that it was none other than Reiko. "What do you want this time?" Reiko frowned when she saw dark circles under the man's eyes. Kantarou let out a big yawn and fell back against his futon. "I'm still sleepy . . . Leave me alone."

Reiko sniggered as she took out some yen and shined it in the sunlight; the bright light reflected from it bounced off onto Kantarou's eyelids. Kantarou opened one red-colored orb to see money in front of his face. Both eyes opened instantaneously, he made a grab for the money but missed. Reiko burst out laughing when the spiritualist fell on his face. "You're too funny, Kantarou!" Reiko laughed some more when Kantarou blushed.

"Give me my share," Kantarou demanded. He put out a hand, waiting for the yen to flow. The silver-haired man groaned when Reiko nervously laughed. "Reiko, a laugh like that can't be anything good. What did you do this time?"

"What would you do if I said I spent all your money . . .?" Kantarou sat bolt upright as he stared at his editor in disbelief. "I thought you needed a companion so I got you one! Actually, it was Hasumi's idea . . . He said the whole youkai thing was getting to your head . . ."

"What do you mean companion?"

"Youko!" Youko walked in with a white puppy in her arms and Kantarou immediately froze. Out of all the things she could have bought his money with Hasumi had told her to get a dog! "Isn't she cute? We called her Ichi, for the literal meaning of first or one, and not to mention it means number one in our counting system."

The puppy barked and wagged her tail. Kantarou sweat dropped as he stood up to press himself against his bedroom wall. Youko and Reiko looked at him curiously. Red orbs widened when Ichi moved forward once she was out of the fox youkai's arms. Scared to death, Kantarou broke the mended wall, causing its width to be bigger than before. Youko's jaw gaped open. Kantarou slipped though and ran with the puppy following suit, thinking he was playing with her.

"Someone get that thing away from me!" Kantarou shouted over and over as he ran around the garden. Behind him, Ichi was wagging her tail all the while, obviously having a good romp. When Kantarou caught sight of Haruka he jumped into his arms, yelling, "fly, fly, Haruka, fly up!"

"Huh?"

"Just do it!" Kantarou sounded really desperate.

Haruka obeyed and flew upward.

"What are you so scared of? That puppy down there?" Haruka asked. Kantarou was trembling under his embrace. As the Tengu descended, Kantarou urged him not to put him on the ground. "It's just a puppy; it's not even frightening looking. You wimp."

Kantarou stopped trembling and stared at Haruka with angry eyes. He disliked it when people called him a wimp - he, in no way thought of himself as a wimp. "I am not a wimp! It's just . . . it's just . . ." Kantarou looked down at the puppy with determined will power. "Put me down."

I need to conquer my fear . . . I can't avoid dogs for the rest of my life just because of some bad run in with a mutt when I was a kid . . .

"You sure?" Kantarou nodded, though he was still jittery. "Okay, going down then."

Despite his mind telling him to stand his ground, he fled the scene when Ichi came close.

The only place he felt he would be safe was in his own room, so that was exactly where he was heading to as he ran.

"Reiko and Hasumi should die for this! Didn't they know I hate dogs!" Kantarou said through gritted teeth. "How am I supposed to pay that restaurant owner now!"

Youko peeked her head in. When she spotted Kantarou lying on his futon she slipped inside. Peering down at him Youko realized that Kantarou was too busy brooding to notice her. "Kan-chan?"

"Hm?" He turned to face her, not startled in the least.

"You have a client today."

Eyes lighting up, Kantarou beamed, "what does the client want me to do?" He stood up and straightened his hakama and gi. "How do I look?"

"Same as always . . ." Youko replied. She followed behind her Master as he walked out into the living quarters of their home.

* * *

Kantarou froze before his client when he spotted Ichi sitting beside her. Youko saw this so she sprung into action and she led the puppy outside. Kantarou sighed in relief, reminding himself to thank her later. His client waited for him to sit down and get comfortable before talking.

"Mr. Ichinomiya, I've heard from several people that you're a good spiritualist."

"Perhaps." Kantarou placed one hand over the other as his elbows rested on the table. Peering closely at the woman, he could tell that she was almost to the point of going insane, though he silently appraised her for hiding it so well. It wasn't easy to spot unless one focused on her really hard, like he was doing at the moment. "What can I do for you today? Anything in particular? Ms. . . ."

"Oh, excuse me. Where are my manners." She quickly bowed before saying, "I am Kita Kiyomi."

"All right, Ms. Kita."

"Well . . . I have this problem with words."

"Words?"

"They're anagrams . . . Every time I get it wrong something bad would happen. I've reached my limit and I now can't stand it anymore." Tears started to well up in the woman's eyes, and her walls of false calm was slowly crumbling with it. Kantarou's admiration for her dipped ever so slightly. "I just want you to get rid of whatever is causing this mayhem. I'll give you all the money I have."

The silver-haired man inspected the woman - she was dressed in plain simple robes, so that gave off the impression that she wasn't too wealthy. He knew the payment wasn't going to be too high, but yen was yen, and there was no point in turning it down (be it any amount).

"You say this spirit . . . Creature thing writes anagrams, yes?" The woman nodded. "Have you seen it or has the chaotic upbringings been indirect?"

"I have never seen the creature or whatever you call it! Please . . . All I want is for you to rid me of this nuisance! I'll . . . I'll really go mad if this continues on! It's torture!" Kantarou pitied her - admiration completely evaporated. Her facade was now shattered, causing her to have an outburst that could have been avoided, maintained . . .

"Will do. Just give me your address and some time. I'll be there shortly," Kantarou told her. The woman did as she was instructed and promptly left afterwards.

Reiko walked into the living room then, and sat down across from Kantarou. "I'll be leaving . . . I hope you've already started on your next article?" Kantarou shook his head. "What's stopping you from writing it? Surely, your brain can't be empty, can it?" Kantarou shook his head again. Reiko narrowed her eyes at him. "Hmph, you better take care of Ichi too. She's your responsibility."

"I never said I wanted her," Kantarou replied, overly pissed. "You can take her back, give her to Hasumi even."

"She's yours so I don't need to take her. You're the owner and I wasted your yen to buy her. Deal with it. I know how you hate having your yen wasted on something you don't want. Getting rid of Ichi would be a big chunk of your money's worth, hm?" Kantarou gulped - Reiko had a point in which he had nothing to combat it. "Until next time, Kantarou. Don't disappoint me, okay?"

Like a immature child, Kantarou stuck his tongue out at his editor when she had her back turned. Reiko was a pain in the butt, but she kept him in check, and in which he secretly appreciated. Yet, he would never tell her this fact. However, not forgetting about his client, he went into his room and into his closet to don his spiritualist attire.

* * *

"You think this case is going to be fun?" Kantarou asked Haruka. "It has to do with anagrams. I'm not very good at it, but I find them entertaining."

"What are anagrams?" Haruka asked. "I've never heard of such a term."

"Anagrams are words that have another or several other meanings if you can scramble them correctly. Some are very, very, tricky, and not to mention you need to know a lot of words. Don't worry though, because we won't be dealing with any of those. Let's just say we'll go straight for the youkai."

"Who's the client?"

"Kita Kiyomi; something wrong?" Kantarou looked at the taller being, not really being able to consider him a human of any sort. Haruka shrugged, while saying her name didn't matter to him. "Then why ask?"

"No peculiar reason, Kantarou. Forget about it." Haruka sweat dropped when his Master got up close to his face. "What?"

"You're being rather vague . . . Are you hiding something?"

"For the last time, this has no connection to anything. Stop pestering me, will you?" Kantarou raised an eyebrow at the Tengu as he backed down. Haruka didn't know why Kantarou was being so critical when his question was a simple and innocent one. Was he jealous? He found it hard to believe, but however, it was a possibility he'd like to come true. A jealous Kantarou didn't sound bad at all.

As they neared Kita's home, Kantarou's bracelet started to shake uncontrollably. There was no searing pain to the scar on his chest this time, but he still felt uneasy. To the silver haired man's dismay there were anagrams written everywhere. On the rooftop, walls, windows, and doors. The woman's house was literally covered with them.

"Wow, lots of writing," Haruka stated the obvious. "Shall we enter?"

"Sure." Kantarou knocked on Kita's door. A little girl with scared green eyes opened the door a crack. She looked from Kantarou to Haruka. The spiritualist bent down, smiling at the child as he did so. "Hi, is your mother home?"

"Are you Mr. Ichinomiya?" the child asked. Kantarou nodded. "Okay, come in. I'm Masami."

"Nice to meet you, Masami. Where's your mother?" Kantarou craned his neck around the doorway before stepping in fully. The interior of the house was covered with anagrams too. This family must have been terrorized for months . . . Why didn't they come for help sooner?

"My mommy is in her room. She's trying to solve one of the word puzzles, she said." The child led Haruka and Kantarou to her mother's sleeping quarters. Ms. Kita was hunched over in a desperate attempt to figure out the confusing anagram. She looked up when she saw Kantarou and his assistant.

"Help me, please!" Ms. Kita begged. "This thing is serious this time!"

"What do you mean serious?" Kantarou asked. His bracelet hadn't stopped jingling ever since he got here, and it was shaking with much more force now. Looking at Haruka, Kantarou added, "the youkai is close. It might attack at any moment based on the vibrations I'm feeling from my bracelet."

"It said if I don't solve this one it's going to kill my daughter! It found out I consulted a spiritualist!" Ms. Kita cried out in agony. Haruka pulled out his staff, standing in a battle-ready stance. "I can't solve this! I simply cannot solve this!"

"Calm down . . . The youkai wants you to feel this way. He wants to scare you." Kantarou was unsure of the youkai's true intent, but he knew the best thing to do at the moment was reassure his client. "Tell me what the anagram says . . ."

"I can't! If I tell you Masami will be killed right away!" Kantarou growled in frustration, he hadn't expected the youkai to resort to something like this merely because of his presence.

"Haruka . . . Can you sense the exact spot as to where the youkai is?" Kantarou asked. Haruka shook his head. "Ms. Kita . . . Get the anagram wrong . . . Force the youkai out. Haruka will keep Masami safe."

"He's telling me that's it's useless . . . Masami cannot be saved!" Ms. Kita was torn between trusting the silver-haired man or the demented youkai.

"Show yourself you coward!" Haruka shouted. "If you're a true youkai, you'd come out and face me right now!"

Ms. Kita fell to her knees as she sobbed, "I don't know what it is! Take me instead, demon!" In that instant Masami fell to the floor - lifeless. Kantarou and Haruka looked at the child in shock. Haruka furrowed his brows together; he was right there in front of the child and yet she still perished. Was it too difficult a task for him to pick up the creature's whereabouts when it had struck the child before him? "Masami! Masami! Oh my god, she's dead!"

Just then, Kantarou caught sight of the youkai. He stood beside Ms. Kita as he laughed. Haruka immediately lunged at him, missing when he swung his staff in a upward thrust. Haruka knew he couldn't use his thunder because of the woman. The youkai was using her as a shield.

"You've taken a human life! For that I cannot forgive you! Instead of me sending you off I'll destroy you!" Kantarou declared.

* * *

Youko was greeted by an unhappy human and Tengu when they came home. Kantarou was covered in green blood, his eyes held unforgivable guilt when he looked at the fox youkai. Haruka didn't look any better, though his worries were directed towards their Master.

"What happened . . .?" Youko asked, curious to know, and bothered at the same time.

"I need a bath," Kantarou said, completely ignoring Youko's question. Youko was panic-stricken now - something terrible had occurred; she wanted Kantarou to fuss up. "Youko . . . I'm not in the mood."

"Tell me what happened!" Tears started to well up in her ocean-blue eyes. "Kan-chan, don't you walk away from me!" She grabbed Kantarou's sleeve before he could go farther, before he could even take another step. He turned to her then, red orbs flaming angrily. "I won't let go!" The fox youkai was determined.

Kantarou was not taking this lightly at all. Youko's urgency to know only made it worse. With all his strength he punched her - she didn't deserve a slap, or so he thought . . .

"Shut up, Youko! I am your Master! You have no right to speak to me that way! I warned you, didn't I! I told you I wasn't in the mood!" Youko started to cry as she held a hand to her slowly swelling cheek. Haruka looked from Kantarou to Youko with surprise. "Now, let go of me. I need a bath . . ."

As Kantarou was making his way to the tub area, Youko shouted, "I hate you!" Even as she said it, she couldn't really find herself fully dedicating herself to the statement with all her being. It was just that she truly cared for the silver-haired man. Couldn't he see it? Was it so unorthodox?

"That's fine with me. I don't need you. I don't need any of you . . ."

"Kantarou . . ." Haruka didn't know what to do if their Master were to release them from his imprisonment. If that was the case, he'd have no reason to remain here with him. He didn't want to leave.

* * *

Inside the quietness of the bathroom, Kantarou started to sob, softly at first, though it increased in volume within a short time. He stripped himself of his haori and undergarments. Green blood covered his arms, face, neck, feet, and parts of his legs. He let Masami die . . . He couldn't even stop Haruka. Ms. Kita . . .

"It was so horrible . . ."

Chapter 4: END


	5. Reconcile

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Sorry for the lateness of updating. Finals are coming up next week and I'm getting super busy preparing to ace em'. Gah! Wish me luck, guys! Reviews for 'Breathe' would also egg me on! XD

I'm like a ball of swirling stress right now . . . = (

REVISED: June 29, 2010

Oh my, this one was rather embarrassing . . . And quite a mess, too. XD

Breathe  
Chapter 5: Reconcile  
By: LadyYuina

Haruka held out a bag of ice towards Youko. She gratefully took it and gently placed it upon her swollen cheek. Haruka leaned against the wall beside her as she watched. He had his own thoughts running through his head, but he wanted to deal with Youko first. The fox youkai shifted from her position on the floor so she could stare at the bathroom door from her point of view. She let out a big sigh, for she felt her actions just before were unjust.

"Haruka, what I did before wasn't wrong, was it?" Youko asked. Haruka immediately shrugged in response. "I can understand . . . how Kan-chan feels . . . It's just that I'm always left in the dark. It's not fair that he doesn't tell me anything . . ."

"Do you want to know everything?" Haruka questioned rather vaguely. "Believe me. There are things that you wouldn't want to know about."

"You don't understand, Haruka. You don't know how it feels to be left out. When the two of you came back looking . . ."

"Kantarou failed . . ."

Youko looked up at the Tengu in surprise. "What?"

"It was my fault that Kantarou failed." Haruka could clearly remember the incident as if it were happening right now. "The look in his eyes told me all I should know, but even I don't know what exactly happened. On our way back he refused to tell me. So . . . in a way I can relate to your exclusion problem."

"What do you think he'll do with us? I've never seen Kantarou act that way before . . ." Youko said worriedly. She clutched at the ice bag tightly. Her blue eyes conveyed sorrow and apprehension. Her gaze left the bathroom door then, and instead she decided to focus her attention to a plant that they kept in the house. She remained silent, wanting an answer from the Tengu.

"I don't know," Haruka replied. He looked down at his clothing in disdain - he too, was covered in green blood. What did I exactly do? As far as I'm concerned, I can't recall anything after Kantarou called out . . .

"You reek. You should go take a bath too," Youko told him, like a mother to her son.

"With Kantarou?" Haruka stupidly asked. Youko blushed, slapping him on the side of his calf. That was not what she meant at all, though Haruka wouldn't mind bathing with his Master. In fact, he'd be delighted to. "I'll go to Sugino's then. Tell Kantarou I'll be back later if he asks."

* * *

Kantarou stay huddled in the tub of warm water. He wondered what Haruka and Youko were doing right now. Since he had lost his steam, he cringed at the thought of Youko being mad at him. This case had really gotten to him, and Haruka . . . After all, it was the first time that he had let a client die. Hopefully, it would be the last time too, because Kantarou did not want something like that to happen again. What was worst was when Haruka showed him his true self. He killed the demon, and as a result he also killed the client . . .

"Haruka, what happened to you back there?" Kantarou asked himself in the silent bathroom. He bit his lower lip in agitation. He knew there must have been a reason why the Tengu was sealed away, but he couldn't shrug off the urge to meet him. Kantarou combed through his soaked bangs as he stood up from the tub.

As Kantarou peeked outside the bathroom door he could see Youko sitting contently in the warmth of the sun's rays. Her eyes were closed as a soft smile caressed her lips. Kantarou tiptoed towards her, but despite his attempts to remain unseen, Youko's keen sense of hearing picked up his soft footsteps right away.

"Kan-chan . . ." Youko turned her head to the side to look at her Master. Uncertainty plagued her expression. She scooted over when the silver-haired man sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling, Youko?" Kantarou asked, being very careful. He fixed his attentive eyes to that of a patch of clouds that was floating idly by in the sky. Out of the corner of his peripheral vision he could see Youko bow her head, brown hair hiding her face. A gentle finger scratched at hem of her magenta colored kimono.

"I'm feeling much better now that I've had time to cool down. My behavior earlier was unacceptable, huh?" Kantarou didn't answer. Youko waited a breath's second more, but when her Master still refused to say anything, she noted, "the sun feels nice. I like its warmth."

"Yeah." Kantarou stretched lazily, he felt like dozing off at this very spot. He reminded himself of a cat. This must be what Haruka does when he feels relaxed . . . "Youko?"

"Yes?"

"Mind if I lay my head on your lap?" Kantarou asked. The words he spoke to her earlier still rung clear in his head, and it was bothering him. What she truly felt and what she was showing him now, he wanted to know which one was real. "I'm asking this time, so you have the right to refuse."

"No, it's not a problem," Youko replied. She breathed in deeply taking in the scent of her Master's clean smell. He had used a herbal smelling shampoo, and it was soothing to the fox youkai's nostrils. It didn't take long for Kantarou to fall asleep, and it was during times such as these when he emanated an almost childish-like innocence. "It doesn't seem like you're angry at me anymore. I'm glad."

* * *

Muu-chan opened her mouth wide as her husband fed her insects of assorted sizes and colors. Haruka watched them for a moment before fixing his gaze elsewhere. Watching the couple elicited a longing Haruka hadn't known he could feel. He felt the need to be by Kantarou's side - to care for him . . . to love him.

Sugino noticed the melancholy look on his friend's face. "Say, Haruka, this is just a thought, but if Kantarou were to nullify the contract he has with you, where would you go?" Sugino asked. "Has that ever crossed your mind?"

"It has. I don't want it to happen though. Being with him is enough for me." It'd be better if you'd let me have all of you, body and soul. "I've learned to enjoy his company."

"A wife-stealing bastard like him? What if you get a wife one day? Wouldn't you be worried that Kantarou would try to take her away from you? Pretend that it's Youko."

"Don't try to put me in your shoes, Sugino. I believe Muu-chan's affection towards my Master is pure friendship. Nothing more."

"It must be nice . . ."

"Huh?"

"To assure yourself that everything is all right." Sugino's green eyes got all watery as he looked at the Tengu. "I wish I had that kind of self-assurance about myself!"

Haruka looked around the interior of Sugino's home, noting it was much more simple and natural looking than Kantarou's. Of course, Sugino and Muu-chan were youkai after all. The demon-eating Tengu started to imagine how his life would be like here if Kantarou were to release him.

HARUKA'S IMAGINATION:

"Well, since Kantarou kicked you out of his home, you can live with us I suppose." Haruka grimaced. Sugino didn't have to phrase it that way. "You're a free Tengu now! Aren't you happy?" Haruka looked uncomfortably to the floor. "You miss that wife-stealing bastard? Just let him go, Haruka."

"I wonder where Youko went?" Haruka asked. "She vowed to stay by Kantarou's side no matter what, yet he kicked her out too. This is all too absurd."

"He's just a selfish wimp - nothing good can come from a human like him. Any human, as a matter of fact," Sugino noted, disdainfully. "Right, Muu-chan?"

"Mu-mu." Muu-chan nodded her head in agreement. Sugino smiled and rubbed her bald green head affectionately. Haruka was baffled that Muu-chan would actually side with her husband on this subject. It was obvious why she did though. Too obvious.

It was because Kantarou deserted Youko and I . . .

BACK TO REALITY:

"Haruka, you okay? Haruka . . .?" Sugino frowned as the black-haired Tengu stared at him blankly for a moment. "I think it's best that you go on home. It's getting dark outside; that human Master of yours is probably worried."

"Hm, I guess you're right. Thanks for letting me use your bath." Haruka stood up to leave. Before he left Sugino had asked him why he reeked of demon's blood. Haruka simply shook his head, telling him that he truthfully didn't know. After all, he couldn't remember anything that happened after that one time. Kantarou looked pretty shook up.

* * *

Kantarou opened his eyes slowly to see that all around him was pitch black. He could feel the warmth from Youko's legs so that indicated that she was still here. Her warmth wasn't the only one's he felt. He also felt a warmth beside his stomach. He placed a hand down there to feel soft fur, and in an instant he registered it as the puppy. Even though he was afraid of dogs he did not pull away. Even so, he felt really relaxed positioned this way. Youko's breathing came out in soft puffs of air - Kantarou knew that she was asleep.

Haruka came home to see the trio lying peacefully by the open shoji screened door. Kantarou was brushing Ichi's fur gently as his head was cradled in Youko's lap. Youko and the dog were sound asleep; all was quiet around the house. It didn't take long for the spiritualist to drift back to sleep. When Haruka noticed this he woke Youko up. She looked at him questioningly.

"I can take over from here. You need to make dinner, don't you?" Haruka whispered.

"Oh, shoot!" Haruka shushed her by putting a hand to her mouth. Once he let go, she said, "oops, Kan-chan's still asleep. Sorry."

Haruka held his Master's head as the fox youkai scooted out from underneath him. She, in turn, held Kantarou's head so Haruka could cushion him from below. Haruka smiled and looked at the sleeping form of his Master. It was a time when his body was at rest, and everything was healing. The Tengu savored the feel of Kantarou's warm head atop his lap. Oh, how he had waited to do this if only in his dreams. Yet, here he was cradling him. The smell of food wafted to Haruka's nostrils. Ichi smelled it too since she woke up immediately. Standing on all fours she ran to the kitchen, leaving Kantarou and Haruka alone.

Youko hummed to herself as she stirred something in a large pot. Ichi came bounding in, tongue lolling out as she did so. She sat by Youko's legs, hoping to be fed some scraps. She clucked her tongue. "You can't have any until everyone does, okay?" Ichi whimpered. "I'm serious, Ichi, you must wait on the other two."

Kantarou awoke again, but this time he sensed that he was not lying on Youko's lap. From his peripheral vision he could make out black pants, and not a magenta-colored kimono. He could see a large hand brushing his hair absently-mindedly. Kantarou did not move as he contemplated if he should say something or remain quiet. He chose the former.

"Haruka?" he asked, rather hesitantly. The hand that was combing through his hair stopped but did not move away from his head. "Haruka , is that you?"

"It's me. Are you feeling better?" He looked down at his cute Master. "Youko's making dinner so I took over for her."

"I see . . ." Kantarou moved then, trying to get up; however, Haruka gently pushed him back down. "What is it?"

"Can we stay this way for a bit longer? Your head is warm - it brings heat to my legs." Kantarou laughed. Haruka inwardly scolded himself, because not only did he make up a lame excuse, it was worse still that he had even bothered to.

"I'm glad you're here, Haruka. Youko told me earlier that you went to Sugino's place."

Did he miss me? The Tengu smiled warmly and was glad it was dark. If Kantarou were to see him grinning like a fool, he wondered what he would have thought about it. "Don't worry, I'll always come back to you no matter where I go."

"About our latest client . . . I think we should put that behind us. I must admit that we've never had one die before though sadly, this time it couldn't be helped. Haruka, tell me that you won't change from the way you are now. Back then, when you said you might revert at any time I fully understood that, but watching you become something else entirely than what I am used to scares me . . ."

"What do you mean?" Haruka asked. He was confused. Whatever his Master had just said was not sinking in. Kantarou sat up then, jerking himself up with quick reflex. He stared at the Tengu seriously, his red orbs holding no mirth within them. "I don't get what you mean, Kantarou, I've always been myself . . . Perhaps, not my true self since I've never regained my actual memories. That doesn't matter though, because the memories I'm making now are much better; I'm sure of it."

"Hearing you saying that doesn't make the unease go away. How can you truly say these memories are better when you can't recall a single thing about your former self?"

"That's . . ."

"They do matter, Haruka. They matter a whole lot. Imagine me forgetting my memories, and everything I've come to know and like right now were suddenly erased. How would you feel then?"

"Kantarou, don't speak like this . . ."

"I have to. It's to ensure you understand the situation you're in. I can't keep lying to myself . . . You had a life before you met me. You probably had friends, relatives, youkai I don't know of. Sugino didn't like me when he and I first met . . . He even wondered why you were hanging around someone like me."

"Look, it's not for you to worry about, but myself. I can promise you . . . If I go back to being who I originally was, you'd be the first person I'd try to get to know again."

"Kan-chan! Haruka! Dinner's ready! Come eat!" Youko called from the kitchen. Ichi happily barked.

"I promise you, all right? Don't look so down or else you're going to have me worrying about you."

Kantarou momentarily frowned, but soon managed a forced smile.

Chapter 5: END


	6. I'll Start Over

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Finally! Finals are over! I can breathe again! LoL

More questions in this chappy . . . *evil laugh* When will the answers pop up, you say? Surely, in the later, much later chapters! As always, please R+R, thank you! They really motivate me to keep writing! ^_^

REVISED: July 4, 2010

My god, this was HORRIBLE! It pained me to see so many grammar mistakes…Looking back at my A/N, I suppose it was probably because I was just done with finals. I remember sweating bullets over them. (ahem, lame excuse…cause my writing is lacking quite a bit in every possible department) PLUS, Haruka sounded too much like a horndog, so I had to change that little bit of it. XD

Happy 4th of July!

Breathe  
Chapter 6: I'll Start Over  
By: LadyYuina

Ichi sat beside Kantarou as he scribbled on with the story of his life. It was not an easy fear to conquer, but now that he was good and done with it, it was actually quite nice to have the dog's presence beside him. Youko and Haruka were still fast asleep - the sun's rays had barely peeked out above the mountain's cones. Pen in hand, Kantarou hesitated, piecing together his thoughts.

_Monk Nanao had left Kantarou with a burning hope to meet a Tengu no matter what the cost. He studied long and hard of the many folklores, myths, and legends of ancient creatures dating back centuries ago - if he could get his hands on it he'd study it, page for page, word for word. He made up his mind to call the being, Haruka. It was rather silly to remind himself of her, but yet he couldn't forget the name . . ._

_Her beautiful blue eyes, brilliant red hair, and gentle smile was going to be forever burned into his memory. Most likely, there would be no other person that he would love . . . She was his everything, his shining star. Haruka was going to be name he was going to use in remembrance of her._

_There was also another person in his life . . . A woman with striking golden-brown eyes. A feature he found most fascinating, because they were a few shades lighter than the average Japanese person's. However, at some point in time, he had forgotten her . . ._

"I think that is enough for now. Besides, the others will be waking up soon. Shall we go out for a walk, Ichi?" The dog wagged her tail as she stood up. Kantarou let out a light chuckle, and he too stood up. He made his way to his room and stowed away his precious writing. His pen was placed on his desk on a spot he normally left it at.

Out in the relative calm of the early risers, Kantarou and Ichi listened to the birds' joyous chirping. He hadn't gone on a nature walk in years, and it now made him wonder why he had stopped in the first place. Thoughts swirled around inside his mind as he took slow deliberate steps along a well-worn dirt path. The woman with the sharp golden-brown eyes kept appearing in his mind. He could envision her eyes clearly, but her very appearance was muddled and hard to distinguish. Why can't I remember her . . .?

"Kantarou."

Kantarou stopped and turned, now face to face with the mysterious, cloaked woman again. Oddly enough a somewhat slight smirk graced his lips. It was the perfect timing. "Do you always appear and disappear as you please?" He studied her critically - nothing did strike out as notable except her murky brown eyes. It was as if that alone defined her very being.

"You're progressing much too slowly; I urge you to go faster," she demanded.

"Hold it right there." Kantarou crossed his arms in a defiant manner. "I don't know your name, and yet you're ordering me to write more? You've got to be kidding me. And besides, I don't work for you."

"My name holds no importance whatsoever. Your goal is to finish your story . . . When you write your hands tell you things you didn't know or recall before, correct?" Kantarou narrowed his eyes at her. This woman had nailed it just like that. "Do not think too hard about this and simply do as I ask of you."

There and then, Kantarou knew he should discontinue his writing . . . However, that was easier said than done. She spoke the truth, and his own writing did hold some certainties in his life, and of secretive ones that he didn't know about in his past. But he, as a spiritualist, should know better than anyone that one could be easily manipulated by a youkai without their ever realizing it. For instance, this could all be a trick on his mind, and this unnamed woman was simply some youkai trying to expose a weakness. The end result would most likely be death.

"Why should I care? You're probably some youkai trying to make use of me. I'll have you know I won't fall for it."

"You've not inked down Rekkugen's name yet?" she suddenly asked, taking Kantarou by surprise.

"Rekkugen?" He had no idea who this was.

She sighed. "My time is running out. I must go." She vanished before Kantarou even blinked. Ichi was barking like she had gone mad. The silver-haired man looked at her. Even though the woman was gone Ichi was still snarling, barking as if something was still there . . .

"Quiet down, Ichi, there's nothing there. She's already gone," Kantarou reprimanded. Despite his reassurance he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising. Vaguely, he sensed there was still a presence remaining where the mysterious woman had disappeared, though he found it odd that his bracelet was not reacting . . .

* * *

Youko yawned, stretched lazily, and took a minute more or two of shut-eye before she decided to get out of bed. Glancing out her bedroom window she could tell it was around six-thirty in the morning, simply by judging the amount of light penetrating through the clouds. Rubbing at her eyes she yawned again. Much like a well-oiled machine she went through her daily motions of dressing and getting ready for the day ahead. The first thing that usually came to mind was how to prepare breakfast. Fish and rice were pretty much it, but at times she tried quite hard to make a decent dish out of it.

Meanwhile, across the hall Haruka sat up in his own futon, having just missed Youko's time by ten minutes. As usual he could smell breakfast being cooked. And the Tengu too, out of habit, found his feet making their way to his Master's room. Usually at this time Kantarou would still be sleeping, but when he was a hand's width away from opening the screen door, Kantarou had just rounded the corner at the end of the hallway.

"Good morning, Kantarou," he called out to him. Even from the distance he was at he could tell something seemed amiss about the man. "Kantarou, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. And good morning to you, Haruka." He let out a wide smile as he came nearer.

"I'm surprised you're already up."

He studied his face and noticed right away that the smile was not genuine - it was quite unlike how he normally smiled when he was happy or content. Or perhaps Haruka paid so much attention to the man that he could simply tell the majority of the time. Yet he knew if he said he could see through his little act, he'd obviously brush it off as nothing and tell him not to worry. This was quite an unhealthy trait indeed. Oddly enough though this brought to mind of someone else in Haruka's life. It had been many, many, many years ago, and there was no way he could remember . . . And yet he felt it wasn't something easily dismissible either.

It didn't make Kantarou feel any better about it, but Ichi hadn't been barking for no reason - there was something . . . something sinister. Kantarou knew that he couldn't let this bother him . . . If he did he knew it could cost him his life, and yet he couldn't stop thinking about it. Worst of all, it wasn't hard to tell that Haruka was worried. He was broadcasting his cry for the truth like a magnetic force, one in which the red-eyed man didn't wish to comply to. Telling Haruka or Youko about it would only put them at risk as well, and he didn't want that.

"I needed to go to the bathroom, so that's why I got up. Youko's already making breakfast, right?" The Tengu nodded. "Then I won't go back to sleep; I'll see if I can start on Reiko's next scoop."

"Kantarou."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"The smile you showed me before - it's wasn't normal."

"Huh? What do you mean not normal?" Kantarou asked.

"I meant it wasn't how you usually smile; you were only smiling like that to hide something you don't want others to know about."

Kantarou sweat dropped. "Haruka, you're reading into it too much. I had no idea you paid such close attention."

Lying, he said, "it's not that I pay close attention. Rather, it's easy to pick up when something's amiss about you, and it's not difficult because I have been with you for so long."

In actuality, he came to realize he was deeply in love with this human man, but it also frightened him to think of being rejected if he were to ever confess.

"If something is truly bothering you, it won't hurt to tell me about it. I promise you I will keep it a secret from the others."

"Look, I'm fine, all right? Quit pestering me." He brushed past the Tengu and went towards the kitchen. He could tell breakfast was nearly done by now, so it was pointless to go into his room.

"Ah, Kantarou, did you wash up yet?" Youko asked, spoon in hand.

"Yeah."

"Okay, have a seat then. By the way, where's Haruka?"

"He'll be here shortly."

* * *

Youko couldn't keep her eyes off of Haruka as she ate her breakfast. The same went for Haruka - he couldn't keep his eyes off their Master. It was by the most subtle of things, but Youko, being a female, naturally came to the conclusion that Haruka liked their Master. The like she was thinking of stemmed farther from the like she shared with Kantarou; however, it made her wonder if Kantarou was even remotely aware of the Tengu's feelings, because if he was he wasn't really showing any signs.

"Youko, the fish tastes plain. Did you not add salt?" Kantarou asked, his face crinkling with disdain.

"Excuse me, Mr. Whiner, I'd like to see you try cooking a meal for us!" Youko retorted. "It's your own fault, you know. We don't even have any money to buy a pound of salt."

"Why's that? All I've bought recently was . . . Oh . . ."

"Oh? Is that all you can say? Kan-chan, that thing nearly cost a fortune! You didn't have to pick out a haori that nice looking! Besides, I could have mended your old one for you!"

"I wouldn't dream of keeping my other haori. It holds too many memories; by far there are more good than bad, but still . . ."

"Enough of that. I hope you've started on the next article for the monthly column? Reiko will be expecting it in three weeks. You've had quite a few clients recently, so take experiences from that." Youko shoved a chopstick full of rice into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"It's three weeks away . . . I don't have to worry about it yet. Stop being such a worry-wart. You're almost as bad as Reiko," Kantarou commented. Youko had had enough then, and Kantarou and the fox youkai battled it out with name calling - much like how children did in elementary school when they had a dispute over something. Haruka, on the other hand, remained silent the entire time.

"I challenge you, Kan-chan. Winner gets the title for the day, okay?" Youko asked.

"What title? Explain."

"If I win you have to call me Master and do what I want for a day." Kantarou then mentioned if she lost. "If I lose then I won't nag you for a day about Reiko's next article. And you can make me do extra chores or whatever. Agreed?"

"Tough choices there . . . Okay, you're on! When did you want to do this?"

"Tonight, I wanna see you whip up something that is edible, or at least good. Suffice to say, from your previous cooking morsels they all tasted horrible." Youko laughed with mock pride. "I'm pretty sure it won't be any different this time."

"Just you watch! I have improved after all those tries. Haruka's tried my meals before, and he hadn't complained about the most recent ones. Right, Haruka?" Kantarou looked at the Tengu expectantly, wanting him to answer. "Right . . . Haruka?"

"Haruka?" Youko peered closely at him. He was completely spacing out . . . It was more than obvious.

"Haruka!" Kantarou shouted. That, in its own way brought the black-haired Tengu to his senses. He looked from Youko to Kantarou. He wondered why Youko was focusing on his face so hard . . . "Were you listening?"

"Listening to what?" he dumbly asked.

"About my previous meals that I've cooked. They didn't taste bad, did they?" Haruka shook his head - it was a lie, but he wanted to please his Master above all else. "See, Youko, Haruka didn't think they were awful."

"We'll see."

Chapter 6: END


	7. Success! Kantarou or Youko?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: I'm really glad that everyone is liking my story so far, and 'welcome', to the new reviewer to my fan fiction story of Tactics! It really makes me happy to receive such nice comments! Keep it up, eh? I wish I could shower all the reviewers with hugs and kisses!

By the way, no one finds my chapters too lengthy, right?

REVISED: July 15, 2010

Man, waiting for my soon to be favorite game to come out is killin' me! I can't get it out of my head anymore, now that the release date is coming closer (yes, I am a female; yes, I am also a somewhat hardcore gamer; got a problem with that? j/k). I'm not going for the earlier access though. I'm assuming some of you know what I am hinting at. XD

Breathe  
Chapter 7: Success! Kantarou or Youko?  
By: LadyYuina

Kantarou was out and about with Haruka (basking in the sun on top of the roof). The challenge he took on against Youko was beginning to worry him. It wasn't hard to figure out that Haruka was lying when he told him his food was good. He, himself, was actually gutsy enough to tell himself his cooking was horrible. However, unbeknownst to the man's idle ponderings, he didn't notice Haruka giving him sidelong glances every now and then.

"Hey . . . Haruka," Kantarou shifted positions slightly and looked up at the Tengu, "if I lose what are some of the things you think Youko will make me do?" Haruka shrugged; how was he supposed to know? "Did she tell you anything?"

"No." Haruka was quite content with staring back. He loved his Master's red eyes. "Why would she?"

"I just assumed she'd share something between another youkai like yourself. I'm not trying to say I will lose, because I definitely want to win. Stopping her outrageous nagging for me to start on the article for a day will be pure bliss. By the way, Haruka, would kind of dishes do you like? Funny. I never thought to ask you this before till now."

"Me?" Seeing as his Master never bothered to venture for his opinion, he hadn't really gave it much merit himself. "Hmmm, I don't really know. Anything you want to make will be fine." Kantarou tentatively patted the black-winged Tengu on the shoulder as he rewarded him with a bright smile. "What kind of dishes did you have in mind?"

"I'm not sure yet . . . I don't have too long to dwell on it. Though I know I'm not that much of a cook, so I should make something simple."

"Like rice?" Haruka asked. Kantarou's smile and it ended up turning into a frown. He literally told Haruka that that was out of the question. Rice was not considered a recipe, for it was simply rice. A staple diet of nearly every Japanese citizen. "You're making this harder than it should be. Try to relax, Kantarou." The hand that was on his shoulder now moved back to its respective spot beside the silver-haired man. Haruka eyed the hand for a moment, and for the briefest of seconds he longed for it to be on the middle of his back again.

"I think I'll make Chicken Tatsuta and Buri Daikon. They don't sound too bad . . ." Kantarou scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah, that's what I'll make tonight. Rice included, of course."

"Sounds good." Haruka smiled when Kantarou gave him a delighted hug; it was almost like a child's embrace towards one's parent. Instinctively, he wrapped his own arms around the spiritualist, not wanting to let go. Feeling the smaller man's body against his own brought him comfort he felt deeply from the heart. Haruka didn't realize Kantarou was telling him to let go until the silver-haired man was pushing against him gently. He stared down into blood-colored orbs that shined with curiosity (quite unlike Kantarou's habitual nature). Most of the time he appeared self-assured of himself.

When Kantarou sat up he said, "feeling a bit touchy, eh?" He laughed as Haruka lightly blushed, and averted his gaze from the smaller man. Haruka reminded Kantarou of a shy school girl, and it was quite funny to see. "It's all right, we're friends after all, aren't we? Besides, I'm always touching you and you hardly ever complain."

"Yeah . . . that's right." It was the simple fact that he had come to love his Master very much. It went beyond mutual love; it leaned toward the kind where Haruka longed to be intimate with him. When it all became like this, he wasn't too sure, but it only mattered that he felt it now.

_Open up to me, Kantarou, even if it's just for one time. If you won't let me love you, I'd ask for nothing more than to see inside you. The real you . . . I want to know more . . ._

The sun was high in the sky, signaling the time to be midday. Both stood up then and prompted to head home. There was a challenge waiting for Kantarou.

All the while, a certain blue-eyed sneak was watching them, giggling a bit too girlishly when she saw them hugging.

* * *

"On your mark! Get ready! Go!" Youko shouted.

Kantarou got to work as soon as the beginning was signaled. He read the instructions carefully, step-by-step, because making a mistake would mean he was going to lose. Starting with the Buri Daikon recipe first, he scanned over the ingredients. Four buri fillets, one pound daikon, four teaspoons soy sauce, one teaspoon sake, etc . . .

* * *

"Well . . . How does it taste?" Kantarou asked, eagerly watching Youko and Haruka's faces. It took only a second before Haruka began to turn blue in the face. "Is it that bad?" Youko followed suit and ended up spitting the food out (half-chewed).

"Yes, it's really that bad! Your food is awful! What did you put in this stuff?" Youko asked, senses reeling from the aftertaste. She let out a strangled laugh when Kantarou looked at her dumbly, obviously ignorant as to where he went wrong in the food making process. "Well anyway, starting from tomorrow you have to call me Master Youko for the day and do anything I want you to."

Kantarou sweat dropped. He wasn't looking forward to the next day at all. Youko winked at him, telling him that she wasn't going to tell him to do anything too horrifying or drastic. In fact, he might find it enjoyable. Kantarou was puzzled by her last statement. Haruka, too, looked curious as to what she was planning.

"Now, I'll make us a real dinner. Your stuff isn't edible so it seems. Too bad, Kan-chan." Youko stuck out her tongue playfully; she carried the food into the kitchen to dump them out. Haruka looked to Kantarou, and seeing as he had no say in this he remained silent.

Dejected, the spiritualist sat down, back hunched as he leaned forward. Ichi, his now very much loved dog, went to his side and settled down.

"You all right, Kantarou?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You lost, so I thought you'd be fuming. You usually do."

"No." A slight pause. "I'm okay. Really, I am."

Thoughts were running through Kantarou's mind. The mysterious woman, Dirina, monk Nanao, the latest client they had, Reiko's next article, Youko's upcoming reign over him for a day. Lastly, but not least, Haruka surfaced as well. He had quite a bit to think about . . .

* * *

The morning dew dripped off the tips of leaves to fall onto the ground, signaling the approach of a new day. No one stirred within the house except the white dog, Ichi. She sat on her hind legs to watch the morning activities of animals outside. Her ears perked up considerably when she saw a cloaked figure walk across the garden. The figure stared at her for a moment before going along her way.

Kantarou awoke to the wet nuzzling of Ichi's nose. Her tongue dripped drool all over his left arm, and feeling annoyed he sat up to tend to her.

"What's the matter?" He quickly wiped at his forearm. "Sheesh . . ."

She began to bark, looking towards his desk as she did so.

"Quiet down, Ichi, you'll wake the others up," Kantarou shushed. Before Kantarou knew what was happening, Ichi had his pen in her mouth as she growled and chewed at it furiously. Surprised, the spiritualist rushed to her side to stop her from destroying it altogether. "Ichi, let go! What's wrong with you?" She finally released the item when the disgusting ink hit her taste buds. And she then proceeded to swing her head this way and that, trying to get rid of the unwanted intrusion within her mouth. Kantarou worriedly looked to the pen, and then to the dog.

Picking her up in his arms he took her to the bathroom. Turning on the sink faucet, he thrust her head underneath to let water run through her open mouth. It was easier said than done though, because Ichi kept thrashing about trying to squirm away. As a result, both Kantarou and Ichi were wet from head to toe. Youko (the early riser of the three) happened to walk in on them, and she let out a startled yelp.

"What are you doing, Kan-chan? Why are you and Ichi all wet?" She disappeared for a moment and came back with towels. "Here, us these." She waited as Kantarou explained the situation to her. "I'm surprised she'd do something like that. I know dogs have a keen sense for spiritual energy though."

"I didn't sense any from my pen," Kantarou reasoned, placing Ichi down on all fours. She bristled up her fur, shaking as she did so to rid herself of the water stuck between her fur strands. Both Youko and Kantarou raised their arms to cover their faces from the cold droplets. Kantarou sweat dropped when he noticed Youko was giving him a coy smile. "What?"

"I didn't forget about the challenge yesterday. You have to call me Master Youko today, and also, you have to do whatever I say." Kantarou let out a exasperated sigh. "First off, get yourself cleaned up. I'll take care of Ichi for you. See, it isn't so bad, is it?" Kantarou weakly nodded, thankful for her mercy . . . So far . . .

By the time Kantarou was cleaned up, Haruka, Ichi, and Youko were already seated at the dining table and waiting for him to join them. He thanked them for waiting, bowed, sat down, and started to begin the process of eating breakfast. Youko glanced from Haruka to Kantarou, the devious glint returning to her eyes. Clearing her throat she said, "I'm letting you off the hook easily, Kan-chan." He gave her a confused look. "I'm not going to force you to start on Reiko's article, nor am I going to make you do chores."

"What exactly are you going to make me do then?" He made sure not to call her name for the sake of refusing to add the title 'Master' before it. A fake smile masked his agitated feelings. Youko instructed for him to stand to go off to the corner with her, away from the Tengu. Haruka looked in their general direction when Kantarou shouted, "I what! Why do I have to do that!" Youko and Kantarou sweat dropped, having noticed that Haruka was blatantly staring at them. "Fine, fine . . . M-Master Youko . . ."

"That a boy!" Youko cheered. "Remember, you have do it precisely as I say, okay?"

"Roger that, Master Youko . . ." This time, he couldn't avoid saying her name . . .

"Was it that bad?" Haruka asked Kantarou. The spiritualist shrugged as he said it wasn't a big deal. Haruka was surprised when Kantarou asked him if he wanted to go out on a date with him. He nodded, suddenly feeling all warm and giddy inside. Did Kantarou finally return his feelings for him? "Where would you like to go?"

"Up to you," Kantarou replied. He gave Haruka a somewhat lop-sided smile. "I have all day to spend with you." From that comment Haruka knew that this was forced upon the other man. He looked to Youko who mouthed, 'this is your chance' to him. He wasn't sure how he should have received this; it was either an insult or a helping hand. He decided to pick the second choice.

* * *

"Uh . . . Haruka . . . Does this feel awkward to you? I mean, hanging out with a human? I'm pretty sure you're not-"

"I don't mind. Seeing as it's a change of pace, it's actually quite pleasant."

Haruka looked around their surroundings. He had chosen a grassy area, a park of sorts if you will, and Youko was nice enough to (miraculously) prepare them lunch most fitting for a picnic setting. The Tengu had dreamed of something like this many times before, and yet it was now happening before his very eyes. Aside from eating together, he was sure the feeding each other part was going to be left out, unlike in his dreams where it took place.

Kantarou sat across from Haruka and for a long while it was like a staring contest. Haruka decidedly spoke up, not bothering to butter up his words. "Youko forced you to do this, didn't she?"

"That's . . ." He went quiet for a second before saying, "yeah, she did." However, Kantarou quickly raised his hands up in a disarming manner. "She did tell me to do this, but I don't mind! I don't mind at all, in fact!" Kantarou lowered the pitch in his tone considerably. "I like spending time with you."

Haruka tried to hide the smile itching to dance upon his trembling lips.

"Besides, you're good company," Kantarou finished. By now (thanks to Youko's not-so-ingenious method) he more or less knew Haruka probably had a crush on him (surprisingly).

"Is that all?" Haruka couldn't resist asking this question. It had been burning at the tip of his tongue ever since Kantarou started to speak.

"What do you mean is that all?" Kantarou figured out easily what he was hinting at, but somehow he couldn't see himself complying to it. Not yet . . . anyways.

"Never mind." Can he not see it clearly? Was he unwilling to see? Haruka wanted to know.

"What did Youko make?" Kantarou indicated to the basket with a flick of his eyes. Haruka complied and opened it. Inside were (assorted) sandwiches and a few oranges, along with a small teapot (with the spout corked closed) of tea and two tea cups. "Bleh, I don't see how oranges and tea can compliment one another."

Haruka remained quiet because as much as he adored the man, a new kind of revelation was looming upon him. He needed a moment to think about it. First off, Kantarou would grow old, and he'd remain the same . . . He had no idea how'd he take it if Kantarou were to age and die. He wasn't happy at the thought, but love conquers over all, right?

When they were done eating Kantarou tentatively laid his head upon Haruka's shoulder. Doing this little stunt alone was enough to make him turn as red as a beet, so he wasn't too sure on how he was going to approach Youko's order.

No matter though, he realized he was going to have to do it sooner or later. Purposely brushing a hand to Haruka's cheek to reel in his attention, Kantarou planted a soft wet kiss to the side of his face (merely centimeters away from the Tengu's lips).

Instinctively, a hand flew up to that spot and stayed there, and he looked down at the blushing man.

"May I?" he whispered.

The temptation was much too great, but it was only proper and civil that he asked permission first. Failing to elicit a response he went ahead and did it, locking lips with the small man. Kantarou neither flinched nor moved away.

Chapter 7: END


	8. Haruka

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: **K**, I didn't change the timeline, I just add in modern stuff for my own convenience… Hope you don't mind.

REVISED: August 1, 2010

For those as psyched about the game as I am, please do check out my new story revolving around it. It's incomplete and barely dented through, but at least it's a start. Very, very susceptible to change, because I hardly know squat about the game all thanks to the game company being so secretive about everything. XD

Breathe  
Chapter 8: Haruka  
By: LadyYuina

Haruka looked to the ladder when he heard someone coming up. To his surprise it wasn't Kantarou, it was Youko instead. She clumsily stepped onto the tiles, watching her footing carefully. The last thing she wanted to do was fall off the side. A strong gust of wind blew by per chance, making her drop to her knees instantly, cowering out of fear. When she looked up she saw Haruka standing before her.

"Need help?" he asked, amused.

Rubbing at her knees she gladly accepted his guiding hands. Once they were both seated, she asked, "how do you and Kan-chan manage to walk up here. It's so slippery and slanted." Haruka shrugged, for he never really thought about it. Eyes lighting up, Youko clapped her hands together and excitedly asked, "so how did it go yesterday? Kan-chan wouldn't tell me so I was hoping you would. He looked really embarrassed! From that kind of reaction I can tell something obviously happened!"

Haruka more or less nodded, and this got Youko gleefully excited. Fox ears and a tail sprouted. "I was under the pretense you had planned it, and was proven right but I don't really care anymore." The fox youkai nudged him in the shoulder, urging him to tell her what exactly happened. The words formed together so clearly in his mind, yet the only problem was when he tried to say them it was harder than he had anticipated. It was three simple words . . . Ten simple letters. "I kissed him . . ."

Youko looked awed, eyes turning into huge pools of blue masses. "Didn't Kan-chan kiss you too?" I remember telling him to . . . Haruka nodded. "Oh! Oh! Where! The forehead? Hand? Lips?" The Tengu, in answer to the nosy youkai, told her it was on the cheek - he had a feeling she left that word out on purpose. "Then, where did you kiss him . . .?"

Haruka could feel heat rising to his cheeks, and Youko knew immediately. She pointed at Haruka as she laughed, shoulders hunched. "It's not funny."

"Yeah, it isn't. I just can't help laughing, that's all. The way Kan-chan blushed he seems to be more startled by that kiss than you are!" Youko exclaimed. Haruka felt awkward now, because from this point on he couldn't tell if Kantarou was startled out of romantic curiosity or disgusted morality. That one kiss alone couldn't determine his Master's feelings for him. Youko stopped laughing when she saw the concerned look on his face. "Did I say something wrong?"

Haruka shook his head. It wasn't Youko's fault, for she at least showed him that Kantarou's startled reaction could've meant anything. He was too naïve to see past that, or perhaps he didn't want to? Kantarou didn't pull away when he kissed him, yet neither did he respond . . . He simply sat there, letting it all register. At the time when he turned away, what was going through his mind?

* * *

Kantarou sat down in a large chair in the garden well away from the rooftop Haruka liked to occupy, humbly working on Reiko's latest article. He found it strange that he was inspired to write by simply staring at a cricket for a while. His article was going to focus on bug youkai and their many aspects in life. As he wrote, the events of yesterday floated around in his mind, making it hard for him to concentrate on what he was doing. He pursed his lips together, trying as hard as he could to get at least one page done if not more. Kantarou nearly yelped though when he heard Haruka's voice.

Haruka showed a slight frown upon seeing Kantarou's face. His red orbs were unreadable, and the expression on his face was blank (figuratively speaking). He looked to his hand, immediately noticing that he had a new pen - a blue one this time instead of his usual red color. He could tell by Kantarou's writing that he was working on Reiko's upcoming article, and now regretted interrupting the man. Though Haruka didn't know it, Kantarou was glad that he interrupted him for he couldn't concentrate anyway.

"Haruka?" Kantarou gave him a curious glance, head tilting slightly to one side. The Tengu closed his eyes, trying to think of something to say. He wanted to bring up yesterday, but he didn't want to make it sound too straight-forward.

Elsewhere, Youko was inside the house tidying up the cabinets and shelves. Her sensitive ears picked up soft knocking at the front door; Ichi ran towards it, sitting idly waiting for her to answer it as she made her way down the hall.

"I'm coming!" she instinctively called out.

Youko gasped at the sudden sight. Standing outside was an elegant woman who didn't look any older than Kantarou. Her soft features and curves really accentuated her pale orange-colored kimono. She had oceanic blue eyes much like Youko's, though hers were a brighter hue in contrast, and her long silky blondish-red hair fell across her back to the end of her obi. Youko was mesmerized by her captivating beauty, and she found she couldn't help but stare. The woman's eyes roamed around the area behind the fox youkai before she spoke in a soft voice.

"Excuse me," she directed her attention to Youko, "does Mr. Ichinomiya Kantarou live here?" she asked, voice lilting with melodious nuisances. It was very pleasing to the ears.

"Oh!" Youko almost forgot that she had been staring. Straightening up, she said, "yes, he lives here!" The woman laughed when Youko dramatically blushed.

"Then . . . Is Mr. Ichinomiya in?"

"He's here. Do come in and have a seat. I'll go get him." Youko showed her into the living room before disappearing down a hallway.

Youko stepped into the garden, and upon seeing Kantarou and Haruka together, she didn't want to intervene but knew she had to. Calling out, she cupped both hands around either side of her mouth. "Kan-chan! Someone is here to see you!"

"Okay, Youko! I'll be right there!" The awkward bout of silence was broken. All the while Kantarou and Haruka had been staring at one another, and though both knew each had a thing or two to say, neither one had plucked up the courage to begin.

Kantarou was shocked when he saw the pretty woman sitting comfortably by the living room table. She happily smiled at him, bright blue eyes sparkling. The silver-haired man stood where he was, unable to move nor speak. He hadn't expected anything like this. Youko and Haruka stared at their Master, both wondering what he was doing standing there gawking. Kantarou didn't move until Youko poked him lightly in the back, away from the blondish-red haired woman's view.

"Hello," the woman greeted politely when Kantarou went through the motions of sitting down across from her. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Uh, yeah," Kantarou replied. "What brings you here, Haruka?" His insides were doing summersaults; she was more beautiful than ever, what with her childish figure no longer present, and it being replaced with womanly stature. Youko and Haruka exchanged glances when they heard the woman's name spoken by their Master.

"I came here by the request of my mother since she couldn't come here herself. I'm surprised you've made a career out of this. It's pretty nice to realize one's dreams," Haruka noted. "I'm glad I didn't let the others get to you . . ."

"Thanks . . . Now, about what your mother wanted . . .?" He found he didn't really want to reminiscence about the past with her.

"About that . . . My mother says things within the house would be moved around at random. It's quite bothersome and now it's beginning to scare her a little. She's heard of your business of ghost hunting sorts and would like for you to investigate." Haruka tore her gaze from Kantarou to look at the fox youkai and Tengu. Her eyes lightly rested on the black-winged creature. Kantarou followed her gaze.

"Let me introduce them, she's Youko and he is . . . Haruka," Kantarou explained, eyes focusing on the woman carefully.

Haruka's eyes ignited with wonder. "He and I have the same name! What a coincidence!" She smiled up at Haruka who didn't smile back much to his contempt. "Haruka is a very pretty name, though I thought it was only reserved for girls. Is this a recent trend I haven't heard about?"

"Haha, Haruka came from a place where the name Haruka can be used for both females and males, that's all," Kantarou lied. The blondish-red haired youth then asked where he was from. "Well . . . The place has a strange name, so I can't remember where . . ."

In all actuality, it was just that Haruka lived a very sheltered life and had been told by her parents her name was reserved for females alone. This notion of it only made it more believable with the fact that no one who lived around here (whom are male) were named Haruka. Many of the folks thought it too feminine for a man, so hence the myth behind the name.

Youko interrupted then. "When would you like Kan-chan to visit your home? He does have a busy schedule. I don't mean to be rude, but idle chat wouldn't be in his favor at this time."

"Oh . . . I'm sorry. How about later?" Haruka suggested. Kantarou nodded, all the while noting she was awfully vague about the time. Kantarou decided to ignore that little implication. Once she left Youko bombarded him with questions . . .

"You two talked as if you knew each other. Was she a friend of yours? A former girlfriend?" Kantarou blushed, explaining she was nothing of the sort. He suspiciously stared at the Tengu, wondering what he was thinking. When he first released him from his imprisonment he did question Kantarou why he would be named Haruka - he wouldn't tell him though. Now, will he make some kind of connection out of it?

"When shall we get ready, Kantarou?" the Tengu asked. Kantarou was trying to read his expression, trying to decipher something he thought was there. Perhaps there was nothing, and being too perceptive could lead to paranoia in some cases . . . Kantarou shook his head to dispel himself of these thoughts. "Kantarou, is something wrong? Why are you shaking your head?"

"Nothing's wrong . . . I thought I saw a bug hovering in front of my face." Rubbing a hand through his silver strands, he added, "I think I'll go get ready now."

"Okay."

Kantarou proceeded to go to his room.

"Say," Youko scuttled on over, "does Kan-chan look distracted to you?" Haruka shrugged, as usual. "That woman that came earlier . . . She was beautiful, wasn't she?" Another shrug. Youko snorted. "Why are you being so indecisive, because that's so unlike you." Haruka simply sighed and walked away from her, leaving Youko in the garden on her own. What did she really know . . . "What's up with those two!" She growled in confused frustration.

* * *

"You know where her house is?" Haruka asked. Kantarou nodded. He'd been there several times when he was younger (secretly, that was). He wondered if Haruka still lived there, too.

Arriving at the front gate, the Tengu and spiritualist were greeted by a tall man. His tan-colored skin matched perfectly with his dark hair and oval shaped face. He had a feminine quality to his appearance, just like how Kantarou had a childish aura about himself.

"Welcome. We've been expecting you, Mr. Ichinomiya. I am Haruka's husband, Reito. It's nice to meet you." He pushed open the gate, allowing the two guests entry. Kantarou, wide-eyed, stepped in behind Haruka. It never really occurred to him that his secret crush from the past would be married. "Haruka has talked animatedly about you; she said she was glad she could see you again, even if it was by chance. She's also happy that you've made some friends."

"Is that so . . ." Kantarou clenched his fists together. If he wasn't imagining things he'd believe that the scar on his chest was burning with pain. It was foolish of him now to even think he had a chance with Haruka . . . She wasn't ever available and neither was she to this day.

Kantarou hadn't realized he was walking in a dazed state until Haruka gently poked him in the back; ironically, this gesture reminded him of Youko. He looked at him for a moment before facing forward. Standing before them was a middle-aged woman who looked to be in her early fifties. She had long flowing light brownish hair, ocean blue eyes like Haruka's, and a petite nose with a well-shaped mouth. She bowed, introducing herself. Reito stood beside her, smiling the whole time. He was such a well-mannered man.

"Hello, Mr. Ichinomiya. It's nice to meet you. I am Haruka's mother, Mrs. Negaya." Kantarou and Haruka returned the gesture. "I'm glad that you could come; this trickster has been driving me insane!" Kantarou raised an eyebrow when he saw an upside down portrait on the wall with a washcloth draped over it. Mrs. Negaya quickly snatched it off. Kantarou stifled a chuckle.

"All right, Mrs. Negaya. Haruka and I will take over from here." The name Haruka made the middle-aged woman falter for a second, but she said nothing of it. "We'll make sure to do our best."

"Thank you. Come, Reito, I'm sure Haruka must be looking for you."

"The youkai is right there, Kantarou," Haruka pointed out. The spiritualist gaped when he saw the little green youkai. She stood beside a cluster of well-kept Chinese vases. One of her stubby green hands was resting on one of their many handles. Upon noticing the spiritualist, she stared at him intently.

"It . . . It was you all along, Muu-chan? Why are you doing this?" Kantarou asked. He let out a laugh, thinking this whole charade was silly. Muu-chan started to speak, and he avidly listened even though he didn't know what she was saying. "Translate, Haruka."

"Muu-chan says she was bored after she left your house that particular day. She wanted to visit you again, but Sugino refuses to let her see you . . ."

"Muu-muu . . . mu-mu-mu!"

" . . . and she'll stop this boring game if she can come over again?" Haruka was saying this more to himself than translating to his Master. Kantarou patted her on the head, saying she could come over if she ended the trickery she was playing upon this home. Muu-chan readily agreed, jumping into his arms, and snuggling him fondly. "Kantarou, Sugino would get mad. He hasn't agreed to this idea let alone heard of it yet."

"Muu!" Muu-chan glared at Haruka, shaking her head. Kantarou sweat dropped. "Mu-muu!"

"What did she say?"

"Nothing of importance . . ." Haruka turned around, walking towards the front door. Mrs. Negaya met him there, and she asked him how it went since it was quite fast. "We've got the culprit. Kantarou will make sure to confiscate it from your premises. I bid thee good day." He stepped outside onto the dirt road and waited for Kantarou there. They walked together a little ways away before the Tengu sprouted his wings and took flight (with Kantarou sitting on his arms).

* * *

"Welcome back, you two!" Youko greeted. Kantarou walked up to her, and dumped Muu-chan into her arms. "Huh? Muu-chan?"

"She's sleeping over tonight."

"Mu!"

"Kantarou!" Reiko called out. Kantarou cringed, horrified that his editor was here. It could only mean one thing. "I need to talk to you about your article."

"Hide me! Quickly!" The silver-haired man ducked behind Haruka's tall frame, almost completely veiled from view. Muu-chan hid behind Kantarou, clutching at the back of his white gi tightly. Article in hand, Reiko demanded where the writer was, as she claimed she heard him talking just a minute ago. He let out a low squeal when she dragged him out from behind Haruka. Muu-chan had moved aside before she caught sight of her.

"Aaaaaahhhhhh!" Haruka's cheeks flushed when Kantarou accidentally grabbed his buttocks, along with almost pulling his pants down at the same time. Kantarou blushed too as he let go. Reiko let go of him, which in turn, caused him to not too gracefully fall to the floor. "Ooofff!"

"Kantarou! You perverted freak!" Reiko screeched. She started whacking Kantarou on top of his head with a paper fan (that somehow magically appeared out of nowhere). Youko stood to the side laughing to her heart's content. Muu-chan looked at the battling duo with mild interest.

"Stop it, Reiko! Stop hitting me! I swear that was on accident! Ow!"

Chapter 8: END


	9. Lay It Bare

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews guys! If you thought the other chapter was weird, this one might just be a little weirder . . . Meh, your call, readers.

REVISED: August 14, 2010

I use the word "but" a little too MUCH, "but" whatever. I'm lacking creativity . . . XD

Breathe  
Chapter 9: Lay It Bare  
By: LadyYuina

_As Kantarou grew, his feelings for Haruka also grew stronger the more he saw her. He'd gaze at her from afar, always too afraid to approach her. However, if it wasn't for his obnoxious tenacity to follow her he'd never would have stumbled upon a certain fox youkai. The silver-haired boy was gleeful when he came upon his first finding of a youkai. Having forgotten about stalking Haruka he went inside to investigate the sacred fox pillar instead. The intricate markings fascinated the boy. The bracelet he was wearing started to shake, and he stared at it in earnest curiosity._

_His red-colored orbs widened in surprise when the fox's pillar started to shake in time with his bracelet. A loud voice bellowed, "give this creature a name."_

"_A-a name?" Instead of being terrified like normal little boys, Kantarou was excited. "Is it a boy or a girl?"_

"_Gender does not matter."_

"_Um . . . okay. I shall call it Youko!"_

Kantarou sighed as he looked out the window at the blue sky. Ichi laid at his side, content after being fed lunch. Her white fur glistened like snow in the midday glow. Kantarou twirled his blue pen - Haruka's (human woman) favorite color - around his fingers. Writing about Haruka made his heart ache, and he knew he should let go since he'd never had a chance with her. Besides, she was already married at the tender age of twenty-two. Kantarou felt distraught from this, because being bound to another at such an age didn't seem right to him. Or maybe he was just jealous, and secretly despised Reito for being able to marry a woman like her.

"_**What are you doing?"**_

_**Kantarou quickly sat up, eyes widening. He thought he wouldn't be seen in this particular position, but it seemed like he had been found out.**_

"_**Are you looking for something?"**_

"_**Ah, no . . ." He struggled to think of something to say. "I was admiring the trees around here! Yeah, that's what I was doing!"**_

"_**Hm?" She looked this way and that and smiled. "I never thought of admiring the trees. You're a sweet-natured boy, aren't you? I'm Negaya Haruka. What's your name?"**_

"_**Ichinomiya Kantarou."**_

"_**Haruka! Where are you!"**_

"_**Oh no, it's mother!" She quickly ducked down, taking Kantarou down with her. Looking at him, she put one finger to her lips and made the sound, "shhhhhh."**_

"_**Haruka! This isn't a joke! Come out right this instant!"**_

"_**Your mother's-"**_

"_**Hush for a moment!" she hissed. "I don't want to be found!"**_

_**It didn't elicit anything from the girl on how Kantarou knew this particular woman was her mother, and the boy himself hadn't realized he might have had the slip of a tongue. Once it seemed like her mother had moved on elsewhere, Haruka visibly relaxed her shoulders and sighed.**_

"_**You don't go out much, do you?" Kantarou asked.**_

"_**No. Mother doesn't allow it. She's afraid I might get hurt. But now that I've managed to get outside, will you play with me? I hardly get to talk to anyone my own age."**_

_**Kantarou smiled and happily replied with a, "sure."**_

The spiritualist rubbed a hand through his hair, feeling the slowly healing bumps atop his head. Reiko hit him hard enough with a heavyweight paper fan to cause damage. His poor scalp was crying out with pain after the treatment he received from her.

Ichi lifted her head from her relaxed position to look up at the opening before the window. Perched on the sill was Muu-chan.

"Hi there, Muu-chan." Kantarou stashed away his pen and paper before she could see it.

"Muu-chaaannn! How could you come back here again!" Sugino protested. He flew to the open window and hovered around it. "Let's go home!"

Muu-chan looked at Ichi as she spoke. "Muuu-mu-mu-muu-muu-mu . . ."

"Eh? What'd she say, Sugino?"

"Muu-chan! How can you talk to her and ignore me!" Ichi barked happily at Muu-chan's sentence. This only made Kantarou more confused. "She said . . . Ichi, you've grown so big, you're no longer a puppy . . ." Kantarou started to laugh. Sugino then hauled Muu-chan into his arms and then flew away (much to her dismay). Ichi kept barking as they soon disappeared into the horizon.

"That was short-lived," the spiritualist muttered.

He stared at the drawer where he stashed his pen and paper - somehow he wanted to write more . . . Right when he touched a hand to the drawer's handle the shoji screened door to his bedroom opened. He turned to see who it was, a bit annoyed that someone else was going to bother him. He gasped when he saw the bloodied form of Haruka, watched as he panted heavily as he leaned against the doorway.

"Haruka! What happened to you!" He ran up to the Tengu. It also didn't help that he fainted then, throwing his full weight onto the silver-haired man, making him fall backwards onto the hard, wooden floor. Ichi barked frantically, sensing the urgency.

"Dammit! Where's Youko!"

Kantarou struggled to squeeze out from underneath Haruka. Blood covered his white gi, staining it the same color as his hakama. There was no time to sit there and catch his breath, because he knew Haruka needed immediate medical attention. Millions of questions were running through his head, but what with the way his beloved Tengu was injured (and unconscious), there was no way to ask him anything. With bated breath he quickly left the Tengu's side to go retrieve the first aid kit (which they kept handy in their home), and with trembling fingers he took out the gauze.

* * *

Youko mentally kicked herself for not letting Kantarou know she was going out with Reiko. At the time though, Reiko came over looking extremely depressed, and she was literally begging Youko to go out with her. Somewhat unsure of what Kantarou would think, Youko was most definitely hesitant, but Reiko had assured her that Kantarou needn't know where she went. She clearly stated that he wasn't her Master or anything of the sort. Youko wanted to tell her that she was wrong, however that would have only cause suspicion towards herself and her Master.

"Say, Youko . . ." The fox youkai looked in Reiko's general direction. "Has Kantarou started on my next article yet? The one he did before was horrible even though I had made him redo it! That lousy bastard!" Reiko's cheeks were flushed a bright red and her speech was somewhat slurred. Cringing ever so slightly Youko shook her head. "Well! You need to tell him to start! With all the weird things he'd be putting in there the sooner he starts the better! The boss said he'd give me and him a raise if he and I submitted better articles! Tell Kantarou that! It'll make him work harder!"

"Hehe, I will. But you know what, I think I should get going . . . Kantarou might be wondering where I've wandered off to."

"Stay a little longer! I'll be done soon! It's no fun when I have no one to talk to while I'm drinking!" Youko sweat dropped, and promptly sat back down. Several of the men sitting nearby were giving them curious glances. She didn't understand the gist of it, but it was probably due to the fact that most women around here hardly drank a lot alcohol. Reiko was one of the few exceptionally bold women who could be considered a heavy drinker.

It was well past noon before she finally made it to the front door, completely exhausted by Reiko's boring chit-chatter. What she came home to was totally unexpected, even unnecessary in her opinion. Kantarou, awash in bloodied clothing, scared her, and his panic stricken expression only added to the terror.

"Youko, it's about time you got back! Why didn't you tell me where you went!" He grabbed the fox youkai by the hand, dragging her along. "Haruka's been injured! Come help me tend to him!"

"Haruka's hurt? What happened?" Youko asked.

"I have no idea! He suddenly walked into my room looking all bloodied and collapsed!"

"Then maybe he got into a fight with someone, though this doesn't seem like him. Sugino, maybe? No . . . I doubt he'd injure his own friend this badly."

"Quit pondering on what might have happened and help me!" Kantarou nearly shrieked.

"Calm down. If you're not going to be mentally collected about this, think of what Haruka might feel once he wakes up seeing you screaming your head off."

"How can I be calm about something like this!"

Youko remembered experiencing immeasurable loss before, and having dealt with such situations for so many centuries, she found it within herself that she simply could not break down each and every time anymore. Even if this was Haruka lying before her, bleeding, she couldn't feel the panic Kantarou was feeling.

"The first aid kit won't do, Kan-chan. You managed to slow down the bleeding, but if we don't get him stitched up, it probably won't stop. He might be better in the hands of a really good doctor."

"Are you implying you aren't practiced in the medicinal arts?"

"Of course not, but I guess you can say I'm not too confident of my own abilities. But I will try my best to help Haruka if that's what you want."

"Good. I'll do what I can to help as well."

* * *

"Kantarou . . ." He could feel himself being nudged. "Kantarou, wake up . . ."

He began to stir but found his eyes were unwilling to open.

"He's probably tired from worrying so much. Let him wake on his own, Haruka."

"But . . ."

"Besides, you need rest yourself. In fact, he'd go bonkers if he saw you up and about when you're this badly wounded. Really though, Haruka, what happened to you?" Haruka sighed. "Don't sigh on me. Something bad happened is all I know, and if you're not willing to tell me, do you think you'd be prepared to tell Kan-chan then?"

"That's . . ."

"Well, whatever. Come on, let's get you back into bed."

By this point in time Kantarou was completely roused, though he pretended to continue sleeping as he felt Haruka slip into his own futon (which was beside him at the moment).

"Should I bring him to his room?" he heard Haruka ask Youko.

She laughed. "Like you could in your current state. Leave him be."

"I guess . . ."

It was perhaps a little while later, or maybe even longer before Kantarou decided he had enough of simply lying there (pretty much wide awake). Yet, just as he was trying to sit up, a quick hand latched onto his wrist, holding him in place. Startled by the sudden action, he looked towards Haruka to see him intently staring at him.

"Hey . . ." he weakly managed, when he thought back to what Haruka and Youko were saying earlier. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," was the low reply. "You all right, yourself? The last thing I remember was blacking out in front of you."

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Look, Kantarou, before you start asking questions, I already know what it is that you want to know."

_You cannot tell Kantarou anything if you value your own life. No matter what happens, do not interfere. That wound I gave to you will kill you instantly if you tell him. Although the injury may disappear, its effect on you won't. That is my warning._

"That being?"

"A woman named Dirina did this to me."

He wanted to tell his Master everything, everything she told him, about what happened between them, about certain events Kantarou perhaps would probably rather not remember, ever. But sadly, he knew he couldn't. Kantarou was in danger and he couldn't do anything about it because much like a lowly coward, he valued his own life. It was a selfish thought in his eyes, but he never thought about dying for his Master, even if it meant he deeply loved the man.

At the time, Dirina made do of it as a joke, saying that he was merely infatuated. Telling him that Kantarou didn't think of him the way he did for the silver-haired human. In her eyes, she said Kantarou would always consider him as a servant, nothing more . . . That was when the fight started.

. . . Her last statement was, "do you not remember me?"

"Dirina . . ." The silver-haired man shifted position slightly.

Kantarou wanted to say that monk Nanao whispered her name before. Moreover though, he firmly believed Haruka didn't know of monk Nanao's existence let alone hear anything relatively related to him. So in the end keeping quiet about this tidbit was probably best in his own interest.

Near the beginning of the story of his life, monk Nanao had said, "I'm sure Dirina remembers you too." He couldn't figure out what the monk meant by that. As it stood he only remembered her name, her image, and a small bit of her personality (which served no true purpose at this point) . . . Everything else was pretty much distorted, unfamiliar to his mind. As he thought more about this the more confused he became.

"Haruka . . . Dirina is already dead. We've seen her gravestone."

Haruka found he was beginning to boil over; he wanted to get his point across to Kantarou without directly telling or hinting to him anything. It was proving to be extremely difficult. Dirina's warning was to be heeded for his own sake, but what about his Master's? He knew he saw their gravestone, but somehow it wasn't hard for him to believe that she was in fact Dirina.

_You cannot tell Kantarou anything if you value your own life. No matter what happens do not interfere. That wound I gave to you will kill you instantly if you tell him. Although the injury may disappear, its effect on you won't. That is my warning._

Their odd conversation ended when Youko entered the room with a tray full of tea. She was relieved to see Haruka awake and very much alive. It hadn't really occurred to her that he might have still been knocked out, so she found it was quite an automatic thing to begin making tea.

"Heh, I kind of brewed this without really thinking about it. Though seeing as the both of you are awake, would you guys like some?"

"Sure," Kantarou said.

"Yeah," Haruka chimed a second or two later.

Youko took note the two looked a bit more tense than usual.

* * *

"Youko."

"Hm?" She was busy tending to his bandages so she didn't bother to look up.

He hadn't planned for this; no, nothing of the sort, but he felt an almost urgent need to tell someone about his predicament. There was no other better candidate than Youko (poor Sugino).

"I met her by Suzu's tomb. I was sitting near there reflecting on things when I suddenly caught whiff of a strange scent. It hadn't occurred to me at the time to be completely alarmed, so I sort of ignored it, but then I heard her voice."

"Whose voice?" Youko asked.

"Dirina."

"Dirina? Who's that?"

"I don't know, Youko. She and I ended up getting into a fight when she told me to back off and let things happen . . . To let certain things happen to Kantarou and to not interfere - before you ask she didn't tell me what those certain things were, however it doesn't sound too good just from the tone she used. Plus, the wound she's given me is a warning of sorts."

"A warning?"

"She said I'd die from it if I were to interfere."

Somehow, all of this was much easier to say than he had thought. Though, with Kantarou, his stomach was doing one too many twists and knots, but it might have been because he was the said person in jeopardy.

"Did you tell Kantarou all this as well?"

"To some extent."

"So in other words, you've pretty much left him in the dark."

"I don't have a choice," was the strained response.

"Yeah . . . You probably don't. It's okay, Haruka." Youko gently stripped off the remaining bandages. "I'll try to help you in any way I can."

* * *

Ichi easily kept up pace with Kantarou as her Master walked. He seemed to be lost in thought, and evidently heading towards Suzu's grave. For many, it probably seemed strange to find solace from a place full of decaying bodies and wandering souls, but Kantarou felt as such and this was what he wanted to do. Along the way he had picked flowers from the roadside to place upon Suzu's tomb.

"Come here, girl," he ushered. "Come sit with me by Suzu. I'm sure she'd like to meet you."

"Ichinomiya."

"Yes? What is-" He cut himself off in mid-sentence when he saw the same woman from before. Her piercing brown eyes were boring into him.

"Do as I have said. Write. Write faster. Write more."

Regaining composure quickly, he said, "now look here, I don't know who the hell you are or where you are from, and you have no business telling me what to do."

It happened so quickly that Kantarou almost didn't feel her pointed nails pressing against his delicate neck until he saw her looming over him. Ichi was now barking and fiercely snarling, though she made no move to lunge at the woman.

"To see the life drain from your very eyes; is this a wish you've been asking for?"

Confused, all Kantarou could do was gulp and stare. Was this woman going to kill him?

Chapter 9: END


	10. The Way I Am

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Sorry for the lateness of updating, you could say I was pummeled into the dirt, chewed and spitted back out. Daresay several times? XD (J/K) I finally got off my lazy butt to update.

REVISED: August 26, 2010

This one got altered quite a bit near the end. Overly fluffy, bubblegum love crap. Yah, I called it crap. No biggie. LoL XD

Breathe  
Chapter 10: The Way I Am  
By: LadyYuina

"Go ahead and kill me," Kantarou said, eyes brimming with determination. "Death is nothing to me."

Despite him saying this he was very much afraid. He tried to hide the unmistakable creeping of fear tingling all over his body. The only thing he did not want to do before this woman was to cower and tremble.

"Are you certain?" she questioned, her finger nails digging in ever so slightly. "Are you certain death will not hinder those around you? Even yourself?"

That's right. He had people he needed to live for, and it wouldn't have been right if he chose death so easily . . .

And yet . . .

Kantarou moved his head forward, causing the dark-haired woman's sharp nails to dig deeper into his skin. He winced in pain, though he refused to draw back. She, however, withdrew her hand, and stared at him intently.

"I can't kill you yet; your purpose has not been fulfilled. You've really grown. Monk Nanao would have been proud of you." She stood up, and the ominous weight Kantarou hadn't realized was holding him down was at last lifted. "However, I really do pity you. You remind me of a lost child."

Sitting up and ignoring her last statement, he declared, "you are Dirina! How else would you know monk Nanao! He even mentioned you in my story! What are you trying to accomplish!" Dirina began to walk away. "You hurt Haruka! Tell me why!"

"All answers shall come to you in time . . ." A few seconds later. "I'm so sorry, Kantarou."

She vanished before Kantarou could catch up to her. The spiritualist halted in his tracks, confused by the odd reaction Dirina was showing just before in response; the person who answered him didn't sound like her at all . . .

"Now, you shall die."

A voice reminiscent to Dirina's, yet it was more forceful and gruff came forth, and it echoed all around him. He couldn't recall, but he'd definitely heard all the voices at another time . . . Perhaps once if not more.

Snarling made Kantarou turn around.

"Ichi?"

The pure white dog bared her canine fangs, getting ready to pounce on her own Master. Kantarou had never seen so much hatred in her eyes.

"What's the matter, Ichi? Don't you recognize me? It's Kantarou. I'm not a enemy . . ."

He almost didn't have time to react as Ichi lunged at him, almost biting into his left shoulder. Standing up from his ducked position, he ran towards the tombs to put some obstacles around himself for Ichi to try and maneuver. He didn't make it very far; the white dog jumped on him, forcing him to slam face first onto Suzu's tomb. Blood leaked from his nose and mouth. Ichi was now viciously biting and scratching him with her teeth and nails, Kantarou's backside was vulnerable to her attacks.

Am I going to die . . .?

* * *

"Where's Kan-chan?" Youko looked this way and that. "I thought he was with you so I came here." (Referring to Haruka's bedroom).

"He left a while ago. Said he wanted to go take a walk with Ichi."

"Ah, I see. Um . . . Well, when do you think Kan-chan will be back, Haruka?" she asked. "Reiko's going to be here in a bit; I think she's going to freak if we tell her Kan-chan isn't in."

"Then maybe I should go look for him."

Youko frowned. "But you're injured. I should go instead."

"No, I'll go. I'm a whole lot more sturdier than I look, you know."

"Well fine, if you insist. But if Kantarou gets mad then you're taking all the blame."

Meanwhile . . .

Kantarou fought with all his might against Ichi, trying his best to avoid her hungry fangs wanting to tear at his flesh. His back was already badly mauled, and the pain worsened with the hard slab of stone brushing against him as he struggled. Even in the midst of all this he felt horrible, for it was as if he was desecrating Suzu's grave with his blood. Kantarou fought back tears; there was no time to cry, only time to wildly cling onto his life.

"Kantarou!" The spiritualist's eyes widened. "Kantarou, I'm coming!"

It was Haruka's voice and it only took him a moment to see how enraged the Tengu had become. He knew he was going to attack Ichi. He knew Ichi was going to get killed if he didn't do something about it, but there was absolutely nothing he could do. It made him feel helpless.

"Haruka, don't!" Kantarou yelled.

It was too late; it was instantaneous - Ichi's weight was lifted and taken off of him and a second later he heard pained cries from the dog. He shut his eyes as he tried to drown them out. The only thing forcing him to open then was when he felt something warm drop onto his face. Tears?

"Haruka?"

He stared into the Tengu's eyes, and for a lingering moment he knew he wasn't there. Completely blanking out, the Tengu's tears were simply falling from his eyes as he stared at his bloodied hands.

"Kantarou," Haruka finall choked out. "I . . . I didn't meant to."

For that one instant he hadn't realized what he had done; his body was moving of its own and accord and it was as if he was someone else entirely. He had no recollection of the attack - no remembering of the sensations which went through his body.

And Kantarou looked to the side to see Ichi's still form lying on the grass. It stirred him up, made his eyes water . . . He quickly latched onto Haruka and cried.

Haruka clung onto him as well, with his own tears pouring down all the more.

"I'm so sorry, Kantarou. I really am." A thought of Kantarou now rejecting him seemed quite likely and it scared him. "I . . . She was attacking you . . . Before I realized what I had done she's . . . I'm really sorry."

Kantarou continued to cry without so much as a whisper of an answer.

* * *

Youko was worried sick when the bloody duo came home. Exasperated, she asked them what happened, and once again Kantarou remained tight-lipped about everything. Haruka, too (as usual). This was how they were, and it was usually in her best interests that she didn't know. However, Kantarou could feel an argument working itself up.

"I've about had it to here with you two!" Youko pointed to her chest, displaying that she was hurt emotionally. "I thought we've been through this once already! Wasn't that enough! Is it because I'm a girl that I can't know! Is it because you think I won't be able to handle it! Am I being too nosy! Well, tough luck guys, that's the way I am! I'm just worried sick all the time when you two leave and come back looking so beat up!"

Both of the men remained silent, and Youko continued to look at them, eyes ablaze with anger. It didn't take her long to notice Kantarou's eyes were red and puffy. She went up to him and cupped a hand to his cheek, and a bittersweet smile broke out on her face.

"Come on, let's get you two cleaned up."

From here on in, Kantarou could sense a change in himself; not quite physically but emotionally. He didn't show it though, and tried his best to not let himself to be found out. The only relief he found from this whole mess was spending time on the roof with his favorite Tengu, Haruka. That, in itself, brought him peace of mind.

The life of his story had also progressed greatly . . .

It took a week or two, but Kantarou found himself returning to Suzu's gravesite to clean off his blood. His unclean blood didn't deserve to color the child's tomb; in fact, it didn't deserve to cover anyone's with the sickly red stain. As a sort of compensation for what happened, he found himself bringing the fox youkai along and together, they cleaned. It didn't come off as much as they tried, which saddened the spiritualist greatly. Afterward, he chanted a prayer to her, asking for her forgiveness.

He was slowly wearing himself down.

How troublesome.

That was the way he was . . .

* * *

"Up here again, I see."

"Sit," Haruka said. "We need to talk."

Kantarou froze for a moment, thinking he had been found out, but upon closer inspection it was clear that was not the case. Letting out a nervous laugh, he couldn't help asking, "what do you need to talk to me about?"

"About you and I. Us."

"What about us?"

"Back then," Kantarou could see the slow creeping flush coming onto the Tengu's face, "when I kissed you . . . You didn't hate it, did you?"

Now Kantarou could feel his own cheeks heating up. "How can you ask me that!"

"I need an answer. Seriously, I do." Haruka sat up, staring at his Master intently. "I love you, Kantarou. For longest time, I've harbored this deep feeling for you. It's come to my attention, and I can no longer hold it in. All I want to know is if you feel the same way."

"Wait, wait, wait . . . Wait, this is all too sudden! And since when have you become so straightforward!"

"Ah, geeze, Kan-chan, just admit it already!"

"Youko!" Kantarou gasped.

"Yeah, I was listening. So what?" she combated, coming out from her hiding place (which consisted of standing on the ladder hidden from view).

"Did you put Haruka up to this?" was his automatic question. "He . . . He wouldn't . . ."

"Simply put. He likes you. You like him. This is called mutual attraction, and don't think I don't know what I am talking about. Lately, you seem to be kinda loopy, ya know?"

He sweat dropped. "Loopy?"

"Like a love-sick puppy, is what I'm trying to say. But now that's it's out in the open, it's a good thing. You two can openly express your love for one another; I already know so there's no need to be secretive about anything anymore."

"That's . . ."

"No need to explain yourself. As a matter of fact, I have some errands to run. I'll leave you two alone now."

Kantarou sighed, burying his head in his hands. "Haruka, did she put you up to this?"

"Not exactly, but she gave me the idea. I hadn't realized she had such persuasion power."

"Tell me about it . . ."

"Kantarou."

"Yeah?"

"May I kiss you?"

Going wide-eyed, Kantarou buried his hands even further into his hands. "That again! Would it kill you if I said no?"

"So it's a no then?"

"Ah, well . . ." He recalled the kiss, remembered the sensations that ran through him, and it was nothing short but very pleasant. "Not exactly . . . Geeze, you're making me feel all embarrassed!"

"I want to kiss you. May I, Kantarou?"

The tone of Haruka's voice was alluring, and Kantarou couldn't help but feel attracted to it. As hard as he tried to dispel such a preposterous thing, he found he couldn't. Deep down, his fascination with Tengus was considered as a form of devotion, even love, if one would like to put it that way. And now . . . Having the privilege to be with one, live with one, to eat, sleep, and breathe beside one.

Deep down, Kantarou was elated.

Slowly, he raised his head and motioned for the Tengu to come closer. They locked lips, and this time Kantarou felt more self-assured than he ever had in his entire life. The worries and mental stress of the past two weeks seemed to melt away, only to be replaced with this wonderful sense of blissful warmth. Ichi's death. Haruka's apology. His blood staining Suzu's grave. Dirina's connection to monk Nanao. The vague memory of a woman from his past.

Time lies to oneself.

Yet, at least for now, Kantarou didn't have to think about it.

Chapter 10: END


	11. Festivities and String?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: I thought this chapter title was lame . . . It sounds too obvious, but I couldn't think of phrasing it any other way. Well, enjoy everyone! R+R please!

REVISED: August 28, 2010

Bleh . . . This chapter left a sour taste in my mouth. Corniness and bad writing seriously do not mesh well. -_-;

Breathe  
Chapter 11: Festivities and String?  
By: LadyYuina

The last of his healing wounds were on his back. It had been a month and roughly two days since the attack occurred. And as a result it ended Ichi's life. Kantarou stood before the enormous grave, looking at it for a very long time. Though Ichi had been buried weeks ago, he found he couldn't come pay her a visit till now. Youko, at the time of finding out about her death, was utterly heartbroken (as was he) and he remembered her telling him something akin to:

"_Listen to me, Kantarou. It wasn't a mistake for having Ichi as a friend. She was a great dog, and nothing you could have done would have saved her. It's best she rests in peace knowing you aren't living day by day ridden with guilt. It wasn't your fault."_

He let out a long sigh.

"You were a great companion while you were alive. I forgive you, so please don't follow me around anymore."

A loud howl rose up to the heavens. A large white dog came out of the clearing behind the spiritualist, and as she came to his side she gradually shrunk back to her original form.

"I'll be all right. The wounds will heal and I'll be all right. Go on."

Ichi gave him one last glance before she faded away completely, her tail wagging the entire time.

He wondered why he allowed her to wander for all this time. Did he find comfort from her spirit? Perhaps he did . . . More than once she had watched over his sleeping form. Even in his dreams he could somehow sense her presence.

* * *

"I'm bac-." A small green figure came hurdling itself at him, being quick to snuggle him affectionately. "Whoa, Muu-chan, hi!" Kantarou nearly got the wind knocked out of him by the green youkai. Her husband and Haruka stood a little ways off, and they were throwing daggers at them with their eyes. Kantarou sweat dropped.

"Mu?"

"Muu-chan is just being friendly! You two already know that!" They were still glaring at him. "Seriously!"

Kantarou ran for it when Sugino started to chase him, demanding that he give him back his precious Muu-chan. Haruka would have joined in if he didn't feel so embarrassed about it. And besides, his wounds, much like Kantarou's hadn't completely healed yet.

"Quit it, Sugino! Are you trying to give me more injuries!" Kantarou cried.

"If you'd so much as give me back my wife, I won't!" Sugino roared.

Dirina's threat now seemed like a distant incident, and since Ichi's attack on Kantarou nothing else had happened. Haruka knew that he shouldn't be too relaxed about the whole situation, yet he couldn't help it when he was around Kantarou.

He looks so full of life . . .

Nothing is going to happen to him, right?

"Cut it out already, Sugino! You don't have to be that jealous!" Kantarou shouted, still running around the house. Muu-chan clung onto him tightly, still refusing to let go. When Kantarou ran by the Tengu (for the twentieth time), Haruka grabbed his gi by the collar, and halted his running altogether. "Uuuuaaaggggghhhh!"

"Mu-mu-mu!" Muu-chan wailed like a little infant once she was pulled away from the silver-haired man.

Youko (whom was doing the laundry) came into the living room to see what the commotion was, and burst out laughing when she saw the scene. She commented that they reminded her of clowns. It was quite insulting really, though no one took it seriously.

"Muu-chan, stop it! I'm your husband, not him! Can't you tell!" Muu-chan stopped struggling to look at her husband in the eyes. Beady black orbs stared deeply into green ones. "I'm your husband, Muu-chan . . ."

"Mu . . ." She gently kissed him on one side of his cheek.

"I love you so much!"

Sugino squeezed his lover, and was pretty much treating her as if she were a plushy. Gagging for air, Muu-chan swatted at his face mercilessly until he let go. Youko couldn't help but laugh some more. In this point in time, she was laughing so much that tears started to form at the corner of her eyes. Though, on the other hand, Sugino and Muu-chan ignored her, instead averting their attention towards Kantarou.

"What are you two looking at me for?" he half asked, half stated.

"There's a local festival today that's celebrated here, no?" Sugino said.

"Mu-mu!"

"Yeah . . ."

"Muu-chan and I would like to stay for it if you three don't mind . . ." He stared at Kantarou carefully, wondering what his answer was going to be. Smiling, Kantarou warmly (in a near fake attempt) accepted them as guests, saying the more people there were the merrier. All that fluffy stuff. "Don't forget, we're not here because of you; we're here for the festival."

"I know . . ."

Sensing his displeasure Muu-chan flew out of her husband's arms to go pat the spiritualist on the shoulder despite Sugino's protests. She spoke her language in what seemed like comforting mu-mu sounds. Kantarou rubbed her head fondly, thanking her. Somehow, he knew she said this time.

'I'm not just here for the festival, I'm here because of you, too.'

Also wanting some attention showered his way, Haruka said, "Kantarou, I've never been to a festival before. What's it like?"

"Really? You've never been to one? You youkai must do celebrations too, right?"

"Course we do. Ours isn't much different than yours, in fact. I've been told before that our customs have been developed centuries before humans, and that certain special humans who had the power to enter youkai realms were able to witness it. In turn, this has affected how you humans do it today. I won't go into the details, but you get it, right?"

"Hn, interesting. What about you, Haruka? Don't Tengus have some sort of ceremonial custom as well?"

"We Tengus' do no such thing. It sounds like foolish activities," Haruka flatly replied.

"You lot are such a spiteful bunch," Youko teased. "Festivities brings about great joy and fun times. You'll see later what I mean."

* * *

"Hmmm . . ."

Haruka looked to her general direction. "What?"

"Nothing! It's nothing!"

"What's the 'hmmm . . .' for? You've got something on your mind."

"It's nothing! Really, it isn't!"

"No point beating around the bush. Just say it."

Youko stuck out her tongue at Haruka as a light blush crossed over her cheeks. Haruka raised one eyebrow at her, wondering what she could be blushing about. She then looked down at her fingers, fiddling with them as the blush on her cheeks deepened. Haruka now squinted at her, staring at her as if she had gone insane.

"Ummmm . . ."

"Just say it."

"Shut up! Let me piece together the way I want to say this . . .!" Youko looked helplessly at Haruka, and in a softer tone, "it's not that easy to put into words, you know?"

That last line worried Haruka, and he started to suspect that she was hinting at something he wasn't going to like . . .

"Erm . . . Well." She scratched at her head. "You're going to get real mad, I think, but I don't know why or how. I'm starting to fall madly in love with Kan-chan!" Haruka's eyes widened to the size akin to small saucers. When did this turnabout occur? "I know you two are finally together, but I can't help feeling attracted to him. Believe me, I've never felt this way towards him until now. Please, don't get the wrong idea. I don't want to steal him away from you."

As if on cue Kantarou dashed into the living room, stopping abruptly in front of the fox youkai. He never once glanced at Haruka; there was a strange glint to his eyes, and all he could seem to focus on was Youko. The same could have been said about her.

This seemed a little too strange, and obviously smelled like a set-up. Haruka, by the ticking second, was becoming more and more furious. Youko and Kantarou had been together far longer than he and Kantarou had ever been; it shouldn't have come as a shock to finally notice their true feelings for one another, but him being pushed aside so easily wasn't sitting with him too well.

"Haruka! I'm sorry! I'm madly in love with Youko! There's this intense desire burning within me! It's hard to explain!"

"Have you two been hiding this from me all along?" he asked, voice dripping with disbelief. It angered him to think he was so gullible as to allow Kantarou and Youko to play with his heartstrings. "Do you find it funny? Were you two laughing at me behind my back? Well, are you satisfied?"

"Haruka, it's not what you think! I . . . We seriously can't explain what's happening! I swear! I didn't have any romantic feelings for Kan-chan before!" Youko pleaded, eyes brimming over with tears. "If this was truly the case I would have never tried to get the two of you together!"

Haruka simply scoffed and chose to walk away.

"Haruka!" Youko pleaded again. "Please, don't leave!"

* * *

Sadly, Haruka was alone when the festival started. The other four paired up, leaving him alone by himself. He felt left out. As entertaining as all the events looked Haruka didn't have the heart to participate; he was feeling down.

"Come on over! That's right, folks! This beautiful red string that binds you and your loved one for all eternity! Step right up! Get yours today!"

Red string? Binds you together for all eternity? Could it be . . .?

This could be a possible explanation, but Haruka didn't want to jump to any conclusions too quickly. Other scenarios played themselves out as well, and none of them were to his instant liking. From across the festival grounds he caught sight of Muu-chan and her husband. Unsure of himself, he wanted to seek someone out to talk to.

"Sugino, Muu-chan, have you two seen Youko and Kantarou anywhere?" Haruka asked.

Sugino frowned, not liking the tone his friend was using. Sweat dropping, he told Haruka that he hadn't seen them ever since they arrived. However, his lie was completely blown when Muu-chan hopped out of his arms to show Haruka where they went.

"Muu-chan! Do you know what you're doing!" Sugino tried to find some way to make Muu-chan look like a moron - nothing was working.

"Huh? Muu-chan, Sugino, Haruka, what are you three doing over here?" Kantarou looked from one face to the other.

Haruka nearly growled when he saw that the fox youkai and his recently beloved were holding hands; jealousy was quick to course through his veins. Muu-chan saw the immediate danger so she yanked some invisible thing in between Youko and Kantarou's entwined hands. They both fell forward, yelping in surprise, hands still joined.

"Huh?" Youko looked from her hand and then to her Master. Shrieking, she let go immediately, shouting at the top of her lungs that he'd gone insane to hold her hand in such a manner out in public. Kantarou wasn't faring so well either, as he was shouting at the top of his lungs that he was not perverted, she was.

"Muu-mu-mu-muuuu-mu!" Muu-chan produced a long length of red string. It looked exactly like the ones the salesman was yammering on about. All eyes turned to Sugino when Muu-chan pointed a finger at him accusingly. They pinned him down with their angry stares.

"Hehehe . . . I can explain . . . It was a joke. No harm done, right?" He glanced at his wife, and even she was glaring at him. His mischievous little charade had ended. It would have been permanent too if they had gone like that through midnight. Still, he was satisfied; that mischief alone should have shown Haruka how he felt whenever Muu-chan approached Kantarou.

"This was all Sugino's doing? What exactly happened?" Youko asked.

"Muu-chan said Sugino tied the strings of fate to each of your pinkies. That was why the both of you were acting strange, saying you loved one another . . ." Haruka explained. He could feel a sense of relief washing over himself.

"I said that!" Kantarou and Youko shouted in unison. They stared at each other, blushing. Suffice to say, Haruka was glad that they were back to normal. Haruka was really moping over the two almost-to-be love birds, but thankfully it was all a sham. Or else . . .

Youko sighed, shaking her head. "Why'd you do it? Were you trying to tear Kan-chan and Haruka apart?"

"Apart? Them?" Sugino seemed overly confused.

"Oops!" she squeaked.

"Hey, wait a minute! Don't tell me . . ."

"Mu?"

"Sugino, drop it."

"Haruka! Don't tell me you're with . . . Him! A human no less!"

"It shouldn't concern you; you have Muu-chan and that should be enough, right?"

"Ah. Well . . ."

"Phew, I'm feeling a bit winded, but it'd be such a waste to not enjoy ourselves for a little bit. Come on, let's party!" Youko cheered, leading both Kantarou and Haruka by the hand. "What's been done has been done! There's no point in moping over something that never came to be! Be grateful!"

* * *

"What exactly did Youko and I do or say? I can't remember a thing," Kantarou mused. "It was frightening enough to see myself holding her hand."

"It's better you didn't."

Kantarou sweat dropped. "Eh? Why's that? She and I didn't . . . You know . . ."

"Of course not."

"Haruka, it's kind of funny."

"What is?"

Kantarou smiled. "Because I never pictured you as the jealous type."

"I'm not."

"You were certainly raving when Youko and I were under the influence of the string, weren't you?" Haruka frowned, knowing he couldn't really deny this part. "Hahaha, see? But it's not necessarily a bad thing. I probably would have felt the same way if our roles were switched."

"Heh . . ."

In a low whisper, the spiritualist said, "kiss me."

Chapter 11: END


	12. Intimate Moment

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Brief sexual content is present in this chapter. You have been warned. XD

REVISED: November 15, 2010

Haha, I dreaded having to re-read this chapter. Took me enough stalling to finally get off my lazy butt to edit this. LoL

Breathe  
Chapter 12: Intimate Moment  
By: LadyYuina

It was an odd dream. A sensational one, very much drawn out, and repetitive. A repletion of one's life, feelings, and actions.

Kantarou suddenly awoke and sat up in his futon due to the pain coming from his scar . . .

The dream triggered the memory of a peculiar day. The day when Ichi was barking at some unseen force . . .

[KANTAROU'S DREAM]

"Ichi." Kantarou sighed in mild frustration. "There's no one there so you need to stop barking . . ."

Ichi did not obey him, and she continued to bark, snarling every once in a while.

It was faint, and wasn't considered as a strong lingering presence . . .

However, the awareness of that presence eventually increased in Kantarou. Ichi sensed it way before him. Without a doubt, where the mysterious woman had once been occupying there was a presence there. Feeling uneasy, Kantarou kept his eyes rooted to the spot.

What happened next came so fast that the silver-haired man hardly noticed until he had been struck hard in the chest. He keeled over from the pain while he clutched at his chest. Ichi ceased her barking, whimpering for her Master's injury. Whispers were heard all around him; some lines were incoherent while others passed by like a blur unnoticed. After what seemed like minutes the voices all joined into one, saying, "The Tengu gave you your scar. Let him know and he shall transform back. There is imminent danger . . ."

Kantarou paled at the sudden accusation, and his bracelet was jingling so hard he thought his wrist would snap. The now overwhelming pain was causing him to lose his strength, and before he knew it he had blacked out.

[BACK TO THE PRESENT TIME]

He glanced over at Haruka's sleeping form, and for a brief moment smiled, when he thought how peaceful he looked. His smiled quickly faded though when he thought about the voices . . . How could he have given him his scar before Haruka was even released? Still . . . Sure, Kantarou had doubts, and it was only natural that he did. He wasn't even entirely sure he had met Haruka as a child. But because he wasn't aware of who gave him his scar, Haruka could just as likely be the perpetrator much like anyone else. It sounded rather funny to say, but it was a possible truth.

Haruka stirred as his ears tuned into the soft sounds of writing - of a pen scratching away on paper. He peeked over to see Kantarou squatting at his desk, hand moving furiously as he wrote. Even as he sat up to look at him through half-lidded eyes, Kantarou did not turn his way, for he was too engulfed in whatever he was doing.

As for the spiritualist, he was well aware of the Tengu's presence. He was simply too keen on getting his thoughts down on paper, and oddly enough, he now kept a journal to write his worries and problems in. At first he tried to continue the story of his life, yet upon realizing he was unable to go on he decided to take a short break. Alas, he was now back at it (quite diligently). It was nearing the part he dreaded . . . However, he wanted to get it written eventually because he somehow sensed he'd get the answers.

"What are you writing?" Haruka asked.

That broke Kantarou's concentration and he immediately stopped, now bothering to look at the Tengu. He then proceeded to lie that he was working on Reiko's article, and reluctantly finished his sentence off with a sunny smile. He stashed it away before Haruka could read it when he came up to him.

Curious, the Tengu chirped, "you won't let me see it?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to see it. This article is about Tengu, so you wouldn't want to read it anyway . . ." Haruka shrugged before hauling his Master over his shoulder. Startled by the sudden gesture, Kantarou flailed his arms and legs, asking Haruka what he was doing. His cheeks reddened when he heard the answer. "Haruka, I'm not ready for this! I order that you put me down! Haruka, listen to me!"

"I think you're more than ready," Haruka replied. "Besides, you can pay me back this way for writing about us Tengu, and not letting me see the article. Who knows what you could have written down."

"Pervert . . ." Kantarou grumbled, finally ceasing his struggle.

That whole article thing was a complete sham, though he couldn't tell Haruka. Sucking it up, Kantarou told himself he'd manage through this. After all, nothing bad can really happen . . . right?

Once inside the washroom, Kantarou was placed down on his own two feet. He felt awkward standing there watching Haruka get the bath ready. He knew he was blushing, and dearly wished he'd stop reacting in such a fashion.

Haruka took off his robe, obviously baring himself to the smaller man, and a light blush was evenly crossed over his features.

"Want me to wash your back for you?" He sweat dropped when he realized that Kantarou was already in the tub; his back turned to him. "Geeze, you went in already? You could have waited for me."

"And why should I?"

"We've been together for a long time now. Getting and becoming intimate is merely the first step to take things further, Kantarou. Bathing together is one such good way."

Close to wailing, the panicky silver-haired man cried, "I knew you were a pervert! Don't tell me you've been thinking about something like this all along!"

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But isn't it natural to want to do this with the person you care about? At least this is what I have assumed humans tend to do."

"Well, yes, humans do this . . . It's . . . It's just really embarrassing, is all. Plus, I've never been with another guy before."

"I shall be your first then." He strode to the bath and stepped in. Kantarou remained where he was, huddled, and looking down the whole time. "Can I wash your back?"

"S-sure . . ."

A small bout of silence sifted by.

"Your skin's really pale."

"Of course; I'm always wearing robes, aren't I?"

"True."

Another bout of silence sifted by and Kantarou's stiff demeanor wasn't fading away like Haruka had hoped.

Haruka didn't know how to make Kantarou relax, and because he was still so tense he was beginning to believe this was a bad idea. As they sat there a plan began to form itself inside his head.

"Kantarou, I propose to you a challenge."

"Challenge?" This seemed to perk up the spiritualist's interest. A challenge was usually something he never let pass up.

"My challenge to you is that you won't be able to relax and act like yourself while you bathe with me." Kantarou scoffed at the notion, and proposed his end of the challenge, saying Haruka had to keep his hands to himself then. "You're on."

"I'll definitely win," Kantarou said boastfully (though inwardly he was far from feeling confident).

"I give up, you win." Stupefied, Kantarou didn't react until Haruka kissed him. He almost reeled back by instinct when he felt Haruka's hardened crotch pressing against him.

Haruka was turned on . . . By him?

Extremely aware of the closeness Kantarou shifted slightly to stop the contact of skin against skin. Haruka broke away from the kiss, staring at the other man; he saw that his face was red . . . a really bright shade of red. The color of his cheeks almost matched the color of his eyes. His expression was that of innocent inexperience, and Haruka smiled, finding amusement from Kantarou's reluctant attitude. Still, the longing for release never left his mind.

"Um . . . Haruka . . ." Kantarou stumbled for the right words to say.

He didn't want to tell Haruka straight out that he was a virgin - it was too embarrassing. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to think of anything other than this steamy washroom scene. Kantarou opened his eyes though when he felt himself being lifted up, as his bottom left the flooring of the tub to rest gently atop Haruka's thighs. Gulping, he looked at the Tengu curiously. He gasped when Haruka suddenly pushed through into his rear. He had never felt anything like this before, and the sensations were quite painful.

He grimaced, digging his nails into Haruka's shoulders. "Ugh! This hurts, Haruka!"

Haruka stilled himself; he could feel Kantarou's muscles squeezing in around his groin and it felt nice. As much as he wanted to grind against his Master's body he remained the way he was. If doing this only caused him pain he didn't want to continue. Right when he was about to pull himself out Kantarou stopped him, shaking his head in a silent answer of no. Haruka couldn't see why he wanted to stay like this when he was in pain . . . a lot of pain. Haruka could tell by the expression on his face.

"Kantarou, we can stop if you want."

Pursing his lips together, he shook his head again, cheeks flaring a crimson red, as was a usual occurrence when they were in intimate situations. Slowly, he started to move himself up and down to create a rhythmic rocking motion. Haruka wanted to speed it up to make it a speedy orgasm, although it didn't look like it was going to happen. He held still as Kantarou shyly did the movements of love-making. "Um . . . can we speed this up?"

Kantarou nodded, unsure of what to do. Given the permission Haruka went about his business. The spiritualist gasped as pain ripped through his anus, and he bit down hard on his lips to suppress a scream. And all the while Haruka was too busy pleasuring himself to even notice.

After several fast, sharp thrusts, Kantarou shouted, "stop, stop! It hurts too much! Please, stop!"

Haruka didn't stop, because he was perhaps too close to the end to not let himself finish. However, each inward and outward movement nearly made Kantarou scream in pain. He hadn't realized making love could hurt so badly . . .

The disillusioned moment Haruka was in soon faded away, and he was snapped back to reality by the soft sobbing of the silver-haired man. Looking down he noticed the water was beginning to turn a slight red . . .

* * *

The sound of bird's chit-chattering was a nice distraction to the monotony of what human's considered as "daily life". Haruka was by himself today, after having been turned down when he asked Kantarou to accompany him to the roof. Though after a while, it didn't seem like such a bad idea to ask Youko for some of her time.

"So, what's up? Something on your mind, Haruka. It's really not like you at all to ask me up here."

"No, it's nothing."

"Well, I have something to say . . . Have you noticed how Kan-chan's been walking today? He's been wobbling around like a penguin. I don't remember you two going out last night to fight demons and whatnot. Would it be strange if I asked him about it?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"You're a guy, he's a guy, and I'm a girl . . . So it lead me to believe maybe it's a guy problem?"

"I have noticed the wobbling, but I don't know what caused it," Haruka lied. Thankfully his back was turned to Youko or else she would have seen how red in the face he had become.

Youko groaned then, saying, "I feel a little bad for him. He's been lying on his stomach an awful lot today, and he's been complaining about pain in his thighs as well."

"Really, now?"

"Yeah. He didn't tell you?"

It came to Haruka's attention that Kantarou perhaps was truly a virgin, and this alone quickly explained for the nervousness and panic he was sensing from him.

"Don't you think we should get some medicine for him? Lying on your stomach for long periods of time too often isn't healthy for you; I've heard that it can sometimes suppress your breathing." Miffed, Haruka asked her where she heard such a thing. "Hasumi told me that a while ago, though I can't say if it's true or not."

"That's because it isn't true. He made that up," Haruka said.

"Well, I'm going to check up on him. You staying here, Haruka?" He nodded. "All right, then."

Upon entering his room she found he was fast asleep (on his stomach), and she also couldn't help but notice the neatly stacked papers on his desk. Walking closer she took a moment to read a bit of what was written.

_May seventh: It was on this day that Kantarou, Youko, and Haruka met the child known as Suzu. She was a petite girl with short brown hair and bright blue eyes; they were so much like Youko's. At a glance, Kantarou knew that Suzu disliked him, favoring Haruka instead . . . He felt saddened by the prospect. Yet, as time passed Suzu began to become friendly towards the spiritualist, treating him as one of her friends._

_Ruby-red eyes would narrow ever so slightly, but the eyes were never willing to see._

_Mouth drawn out to a thin line, yet a word was never spoken._

_Fingers would curl up, though a punch was never thrown._

_Kantarou saw past these diabolical rules he'd set for himself. Suzu, a child and friend, wanted to hang out with him . . . She was the first . . ._

Clearing her throat Youko slowly backed away and stepped foot out of the bedroom. She never realized Suzu meant so much to Kantarou, and knowing he knew of her condition prior to her or Haruka must have left some deep wound inside of him. How deep of a wound she was sure she would never find out.

Bowing her head, she smiled a sad smile. It felt like she had been with Kantarou for the longest of time, but just how much did she really know about him?

She wasn't even sure.

Chapter 12: END


	13. Expectations Run Rampant

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Leave reviews for me, anyone?

REVISED: January 22, 2011

I chopped off a small portion of this chapter, because I felt it wasn't needed and didn't really do anything much.

Breathe  
Chapter 13: Expectations Run Rampant  
By: LadyYuina

Slightly shivering she decided to go back into the room, for somehow she wanted to comfort Kantarou. But in what way? That's when the idea formed in her head: a simple peck on the cheek. She'd never dare do such a thing if he were awake, but seeing as he was sound asleep she couldn't resist the temptation.

However, a certain someone had been spying on her, and before she knew what was happening . . .

"Youko!"

"Ha-Haruka!" She went rigid as she felt two pairs of ice cold eyes bearing down on her. "It's not what you think!"

Kantarou woke at this point, startled by the sudden shouting. "What the hell is all the ruckus about? And what are you two doing in here?" His eyes quickly darted to the table, and he scrambled there to gather up the stack of papers. But he soon realized there was a sort of heavy tension in the room. "Is something the matter, you two?"

"Ah, no . . . Not really," Youko replied, sweat dropping.

A tiny peck on the cheek couldn't have signified for anything as being romantic. Besides, Haruka should have known better, having lived with her and Kantarou for so long . . .

"I saw what you did, Youko."

"That . . . Haruka, it isn't what you think!"

"Youko did what?" Kantarou asked.

"She kissed you."

Baffled, Kantarou mimicked, "kissed me?"

"No, no, no, you've got it all wrong!"

But before Youko coul say anything further, Haruka just had to intervene. "Kantarou, are you having a relationship with Youko behind my back?"

"Eh?"

"Haruka! I told you it's not what you think! Why won't you believe me!"

Now realizing that Haruka was being earnestly serious about the whole thing, the silver-haired man knew he couldn't stay confused and dumfounded the entire time.

"To cut to the chase and end this squabble, I'll say this: Youko and I are not romantically involved. In fact, I only see her as a friend and sister figure. She's been with me since I was a kid. Is that enough reasoning for you, Haruka?"

When Haruka finally conceded, he then turned his attention to Youko.

"And you, Youko, I oughta . . ."

She smiled sheepishly and merely shrugged.

* * *

Really though, Haruka, you getting upset over a little peck amazes me."

"It isn't something I take too lightly no matter how it's done."

"Then, perhaps in the past you had a lover of sorts?" Kantarou asked.

This question took Haruka aback, and for a split second he went rigid. Miraculously, the silver-haired man didn't even notice even as he was staring at him the whole time, but Haruka wished this question had never been asked.

When the Tengu failed to reply, Kantarou added, "you did have a significant other, didn't you?"

"I don't remember."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I don't remember a thing about my past. It's all a haze to me."

"Ah . . . Well, then I suppose I'll stop there. I didn't really mean to pry but curiosity got the best of me. And Haruka, can you do me a tiny favor?"

"What is it?"

"Would you go to Reiko's office and ask her when my next article is due? I don't think she told me the last time she was here."

"It's due on the thirtieth of this month."

". . . . ."

"What?" Haruka seemed rather bemused.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I'm not too sure about that date . . ."

"I remember her mentioning it to you. You were even in the room at the time."

"Okay, fine, maybe it is the thirtieth. Can you at least go visit Sugino or do something else for a little while?"

Haruka frowned, asking, "why?"

"I need some time alone to reflect on things."

This wasn't necessarily a lie, but wasn't exactly the truth either. Kantarou wanted Haruka out of way because he wanted to ask Youko about his stack of papers; he last recalled leaving them out in the open, and seeing as Youko had gone into his room while he was asleep . . .

"I'll be on the roof then."

The roof? He didn't want to let a sliver of a chance of Haruka overhearing them, so the Tengu definitely needed to leave the premises.

Although, Haruka did have his own reasons to suspect his silver-haired Master. This time he knew the spiritualist was lying, however, he did a good job of it. Most people would've believed him, for his perceptiveness and lying methods were superb.

"No. No can do," Kantarou said.

"Why not?"

Kantarou needed to think of something quick and effective and thus . . .

"Remember when we had sex . . .?" He immediately turned red at the mere flashback that ran through his mind, and tried as he might he now could no longer dispel it. "Uh . . . Ah, that is to say I haven't forgotten the aftermath. It . . . It was quite painful, to say the least."

"You won't allow me to do it again?" was the somewhat sad response.

"Probably not . . ."

Haruka frowned then. Kantarou wasn't giving the sexual activities of their relationship much of a chance. Without sex . . . their relationship would be dull. Haruka would still love his Master no matter what, but there would be no satisfaction to the crying thing in between his legs. Kantarou had no idea how many times he'd already made the Tengu become hard. Masturbation wasn't much to Haruka's liking . . .

. . . a warm body was more preferable.

"You didn't really mean that, did you, Kantarou?"

"I might change my mind if you'd do what I've asked of you . . ."

"But . . ."

* * *

With Kantatou and Haruka nowhere in sight, Youko thought it a opportune moment to sneak back inside her Master's sleeping quarter. The stack of papers were still where she had last seen them. Temptation gnawed at her and she couldn't help but want to take a peek at the papers once again. Perhaps there was some underlying meaning behind his words. However, when she picked up a sheet a sudden burning sensation ran through her fingers and she was forced to let go.

"Ow!" she yelped as she eyed the paper suspiciously.

"Don't touch those papers."

Youko's ears perked up at the sound of a female's voice. Surprised, she turned around and was met face to face with a woman cloaked in green. Her piercing brown eyes bored right into her.

This woman gave off a near vicious aura and it scared the fox youkai. Almost stammering, Youko asked, "who are you? How did you get in here?"

"How much have you read?"

Youko gulped.

"Answer me, fox."

". . . not much."

"Read any more of it again and I'll kill you. Speak nothing of it to him, understand?"

Not completely understanding this woman all Youko could do was nod her head. And just as quickly as she could blink the woman disappeared.

"What the hell was that all about?" she muttered to herself. A part of her wanted to ask Kantarou about what had occurred, but what if she then truly incurred the wrath of the angry woman she ran into? "Guess I better keep my mouth shut . . ."

"Youko, what are you doing in here?"

The sound of her Master's voice broke her from her thoughts.

Turning, she said, "ah, nothing. I thought I might have left something in here, so I came looking for it. But it turns out I remembered leaving it in my own room."

"Why do you sound so nervous?" Kantarou asked. "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No, of course not! Don't over think it too much!" She glanced over his shoulder. "By the way, where's Haruka?"

"I sent him out on an errand. He'll be back shortly."

"I . . ." Youko frowned, contemplating her next words. "Ah, how should I phrase this?"

"Phrase what?"

She was itching to tell Kantarou about what happened . . .

And for a brief moment Kantarou feared Youko might have read too much of what he had written, and it unsettled him greatly.

"I think I want to go away for bit. It doesn't have to be for long."

"Go away? Why?"

"I haven't seen Rosalie in a while; it wouldn't hurt to visit her . . . And Hasumi too, of course."

"This sounds a little fishy. Since when did you ever feel like visiting the old man and his daughter?"

"Since recently. Honestly, Kan-chan, I've given this some thought."

What he wasn't aware of was that Youko was afraid of blurting something unnecessary, and the only thing she could think of doing to avoid a slip-up was to go away. Even if it was just for a day or two. Any time gone would help.

"Listen, if it's about what happened earlier, Haruka has already come to terms with it. He's not angry at you anymore."

Youko simply smiled and said nothing further.

Chapter 13: END


	14. Adjustments

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Sorry for the lateness of not updating but I've been caught up in schoolwork, you can all blame my teachers. I'm afraid the battle isn't over yet, I'll be super busy till the end of school so everyone please be patient. And I love getting reviews so please **click, click, click **that button when you're done reading, 'kay?

REVISED: March 31, 2011  
SECOND REVISION: July 3, 2011

Yah, I revised it a second time. Now onward to chapter 15! XD

And if you don't know what josei means? Then that's simply another incentive to go and look it up!

Breathe  
Chapter 14: Adjustments  
By: LadyYuina

Fluffy material obscured her vision and Youko hurried herself to rise up and off the bed. Rosalie sat beside her futon, clinging onto her look-a-like Muu-chan doll. Youko looked at her for a second before she realized what the child was staring at - a pair of ears and a tail. Mortified, she quickly willed them away before Rosalie had the sense to question her about it.

And as if by clockwork, Hasumi then entered the room. "About time you woke up," he said.

"Sorry. Guess I overslept."

"She has fox ears," Rosalie noted as she looked up at her father. "And a fluffly tail; I saw it." Youko sweat dropped, hoping Hasumi wasn't really going to believe her. She sighed in relief when he said she was simply blabbering nonsense. And for once Youko was grateful he was as "logical" as any person could possibly become. "I'm not lying, daddy."

Youko smiled, thinking how wonderful it was that Rosalie had opened up to Hasumi and was acknowledging him as her father. It's been two weeks since she came here, and though she hadn't expected to stay this long, she simply felt she wasn't ready to go back just yet. And luckily Hasumi was a man of simple reasoning, so the little lie she made sufficed enough for him to permit her to stay (for almost as long as she wished).

[TWO WEEKS AGO]

"All right, all right, I'm coming!"

A jolt of nervous anxiety struck at Youko, and so she stepped back a little, clumsily adjusting the hem of her kimono. She immediately looked up when the shoji-screened door slid open. Surprised eyes greeted her in a not-so-friendly way. Youko smiled weakly under the man's careful glaring. Rosalie stood directly beside him.

"Youko," Rosalie said. "Daddy, Youko is here."

Youko stared at the girl in amazement. She never did recall hearing her call Hasumi daddy, but it seemed like time truly did do wonders. She remembered Rosalie looking a bit different, too. Her pretty long hair was now to her armpits (having been cut shorter), and she no longer tied it back with black ribbons but instead, let her hair fall around her in curly waves. Alas, it has been a good solid nine to ten months since Rosalie was adopted.

If Youko wasn't mistaken. Rosalie was now the same age as Suzu.

"What brings you here?" Hasumi asked. "You're a friend of Kantarou's, aren't you?"

"Haha, yeah, about that . . ." Youko tried her best to fake the emotion in her voice. "You see, he kicked me out, telling me to live elsewhere. Since you're the only other person I know besides Reiko, I was hoping you could let me stay here for a while until Kan-chan cools down. You know how angry he can get sometimes . . ." Youko gave Hasumi her most woeful look, trying her best to make her eyes look glossy - crocodile tears would've been even better. "I'm sure he'll let me go back in a month or two . . ."

"Daddy, let's let her stay. She can play with me when you're at work," Rosalie urged. She dropped one hand away from her doll to tug at her father's arm. He looked to her and then back at Youko, a hand placed thoughtfully on his chin. His eyebrows curved down into narrow arches.

"You can stay for a month or so I suppose. You better help out with the chores though. I dislike freeloaders. Got that?" Youko nodded. "You can stay in one of our guest rooms; we have three so you can pick whichever one you like."

"I can show her where they are, daddy!" Rosary took a hold of Youko's hand, and pulled her down a narrow stairway to their left. The fox youkai had no idea when the child had become so lively and talkative . . .

She was wasn't like this before . . .

Once they were a little ways away from the hallway, Rosalie said, "I saw Suzu yesterday; she said she had fun with a white dog, and is glad that she's not alone anymore."

"Suzu?"

"Uh-huh, she came to me last night. We talked for a while before she left."

[BACK TO THE PRESENT]

Rosalie waited by the bedroom door while Youko dressed. Her green eyes stared at Youko's back, fascinated, as she stood erect like a stone pillar, with Muu-chan's look-a-like plushy snuggled close to her chest. By the time they made it to the kitchen Hasumi had already left for work, and on the kitchen table was a small note. It said the same old usual thing . . .

_Watch the house and tend to Rosalie properly. I'll be back later._

As if Youko already didn't know she was to tend to the house and take care of Rosalie. In fact, it wasn't surprising she felt a slight twinge of being much like a housewife. She'd felt like this while living with Kantarou too, though the only difference here was that there was a child to take care of. If she thought about it for a moment Kantarou was also like a child, so between Rosalie and Hasumi, Kantarou and Haruka . . . they were pretty much even.

"What are we having for lunch?" Rosalie placed her doll down on the kitchen table, and proceeded to sit down next to it.

Youko looked at her, wondering what she should conjure up this time. She announced several dishes, all of which were refused until she said snow pea soup. The fox youkai thought it was strange that a child like Rosalie would like something so plain - it sounded like old people soup.

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yes. Pea soup is one of my favorites. Daddy and I eat it all the time."

"Um . . . Okay."

* * *

Kantarou groaned as he laid on his futon, contemplating. He hated to admit it, but he was already missing Youko a great deal. It was nice not to have her nag about his article, and yet after a while of this lonesome silence, he thought it wouldn't be so bad. She made the place lively, being the only female in the house and all.

He glanced over at Haruka's sleeping form and let out a soft sigh.

"I'm awake, you know," Haruka said, startling the man.

"Geeze, you scared me!"

"Something bugging you?"

Beneath the moon's elegant light the Tengu could make out the mild frown on his Master's face. It became glaringly obvious what was bothering him then.

"Say, how long have you known Youko?" When an awkward quietness followed, he added, "that is, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to . . ."

As if pouting about the Tengu's sudden submission, Kantarou said, "I've been with her for twelve years."

"I see."

"That doesn't surprise you?"

"No, though I'm still a little jealous."

Kantarou scoffed and told him jealousy was going to get him nowhere. It was at this point that the bed games started. Though slowly, Haruka tentatively placed a hand on his Master's waist and waited. Kantarou stilled but soon relaxed and tried his hardest to not lose his composure.

Haruka stared for a long moment. Everything about Kantarou enticed him, stirred his loins in such an erotic fashion, even he himself sometimes couldn't fathom why or how.

However, right now he wanted him. He wanted him quite badly, actually.

But . . .

Haruka was pretty sure the other man wasn't ready, for he'd recently recovered from the pain of having penetrative sex. No matter how desperately he wanted to masturbate, it wasn't going to be possible when the object of his fantasies and desires was right here next to him. . . Lest he wanted to frighten the poor man.

A few minutes passed by and Haruka's now fully erect totem pole was becoming rather painful. The will to get up, go outside, do his business and then come back was easier of a thought than it actually being acted upon. Kantarou's body was too tempting, and almost a tad bit too inviting . . . And alas, without meaning to, he snaked his arm around the silver-haired man's waist, pulling him close. Kantarou immediately froze when he felt something warm and hard poking at his side.

He looked at Haruka disbelievingly.

"Again . . .?" Kantarou meekly asked. As usual, he couldn't help blushing, for intimate situations always triggered this reaction.

As his hesitant way of approval, the silver-haired man squeezed the Tengu's hand firmly. Yet, despite his approval, Haruka was afraid he'd hurt him again, and from the look of things it seemed very likely.

Haruka found that he was shaking his head. "Actually, it's all right. I'll go outside and get some fresh air instead."

Haruka wouldn't have minded a simple hand job from someone other than himself, but somehow it felt inarguably embarrassing this time around.

Before leaving the room though, he turned and said, "I didn't meant to startle you. Sorry."

Kantarou's blush deepened as he nodded.

* * *

Haruka awoke, dimly aware of the still present darkness to today's dawn. He instinctively glanced to his left, and noticed Kantarou was not there. He stood up and stretched, giving himself ample time to relax his tense muscles. It didn't immediately occur to him, but his left arm felt overly sore, though this was the least of his current concerns.

For times like this it was predictable of Kantarou to be at the patio; Haruka watched him - watched as the man's intense red orbs gazed up towards the blooming skies, and watched as a slight trickle of a tear fell from one eye.

The Tengu moved a step or two, with the intention of getting a better view, but was spotted by the silver-haired man. He turned, face awash in the now glorious morning light, as a smile graced his delicate lips. It was almost as if what Haruka witnessed was merely an illusion; Kantarou looked not a hint distraught, for he was clever with such guises.

"Good morning, Haruka!" he said with false cheer. "You're up early today." He then patted to the wooden floor beside him, signaling for Haruka to come and sit down.

Haruka shivered at the sudden blast of cold air, and took note at how lightly dressed his Master was. "I could say the same for you. You're up awfully early, too."

"Well, I couldn't sleep so I decided to get up." He smiled.

Again, with the smiles . . . Haruka believed, no, he knew Kantarou was harboring something within. A smile was a smile, meant to be disarming and friendly in every way, but Haruka couldn't ignore what laid beneath.

As if reading Haruka's mind, he asked, "is something wrong?"

No, Haruka thought, not me. But you.

"There's nothing wrong with me. There's something wrong with you."

"What do you mean, Haruka?"

Kantarou only justified Haruka's suspicions when he didn't sound surprised by the accusation.

"Don't play dumb. You know very well what I mean."

"I'm not, and if you're not willing to tell me what's bothering you, how am I supposed to know?"

"I thought about it, but these past few months you've been hiding something. You don't want me or Youko getting worried, but believe me, it's gone on long enough. Don't think we haven't suspected."

"I . . ." Kantarou shook his head, frowning. "There's nothing for me to hide. I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't want to talk about this anymore. I was actually having a nice morning before you showed up and ruined it for me."

"Sure you were," Haruka said, sarcasm dripping from each word.

Kantarou opened his mouth as if to retort, but perhaps decided against I, for he simply turned away and looked the other direction.

* * *

The more time Youko spent with Rosalie the more curious she became. The blonde-haired child had a very interesting power to say the least, and it was quite a startling secret; last night Youko was allowed the chance to talk to Suzu's spirit. The fox youkai was so surprised she nearly felt faint. Also, another weird aspect to it was Suzu couldn't be seen, only heard, and the more Youko thought about it the more ideas she had come to mind.

If only Kantarou were to talk to Suzu, then perhaps his suffering would be put at ease . . .

"Say Rosalie, can you make the dead speak to just about anyone?"

Rosalie nodded.

"But they'd have to be connected to you, right? Touching, I mean. Like we did last night?"

Rosalie nodded again.

This is a bit risky, but I want to try it. Surely, Dirina wouldn't go after him for this . . .?

"When I go back to Kan-chan's place do you think your father would let you come over for a while?" Youko wanted to laugh at the notion, for noting Hasumi as a father instead of an ethnologist was really funny.

"I can ask him," Rosary replied, as she plucked at the arms of her plushy toy. Her short blonde hair fell around her shoulders as she concentrated on what she was doing.

Youko watched her, biting her lower lip nervously. If she went along with her plan, wouldn't Rosalie get hurt, too?

Rosary then suddenly touched Youko's arm. "The spirits are restless. They can sense your mood."

"I'm sorry. I suppose I might be homesick." She tried to give off an unfettered smile. "Perhaps I should go tomorrow - it's sooner than I thought, but in any case, Hasumi probably wants me to leave."

"That's not true. He likes your company even though he doesn't openly admit it. I've heard him mumbling to himself before. And since you're planning on leaving tomorrow I'll ask my daddy tonight."

"Okay."

Rosary stood in front of Youko, unmoving. She grabbed hold of Youko's kimono when she tried to walk past her. The fox youkai gave her an inquiring glance.

"About last night, Suzu told me something she didn't tell you."

A look of mixed emotions washed over the child's face. Youko didn't know how to interpret it. Rosalie's hold on her kimono tightened.

"I just wanted to mention that to you . . . I can't tell you what Suzu told me, because she said Kantarou would be in danger if I did."

"Kan-chan?" Rosalie nodded. Her naturally calm features turned into a scowl, and it appeared the child regretted blurting anything to Youko at all. Despite this, Youko couldn't help feeling angered. "Put Kan-chan in danger? He's already in danger! What's the point of keeping any more secrets from each other!"

Taken aback by the fox youkai's sudden outburst all Rosalie could do was stand and watch.

"Something is going to happen to him! I just know it. Yet." She could feel herself begin to tremble. "And yet, he won't tell me or Haruka what's going on!"

"Silence!"

Blood splattered onto the walls - onto Rosalie's face. An ear piercing scream rung across the premises, and a hand covered in blood flicked the warm liquid off its surface, as large green eyes widened while they watched in fear. The figure stared at her angrily, dark furious eyes holding her in place. The child was too frightened to move.

"The time is near."

Rosalie stayed rooted to the spot, and screamed when she felt long talon-like fingers dig into her flesh. It was over in mere seconds. All was quiet.

Chapter 14: END


	15. Because I Care

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Wow . . . It took me extremely long to update, eh? Sorry everyone! And thank you very much for all the reviews, guys! They really egged me on! Mind leaving me some more? I'd appreciate it!

REVISED: December 14, 2011

A/N: Wow, it has been many, many MONTHS since I have done anything, hasn't it? *Ahem* Well, at least I have this chapter revised. I don't know when the next chapter is going to be reworked, but it will happen . . . eventually.

Anyway, I noticed I used waaayyyyy too many adverbs and verbs, but nonetheless, I didn't remove most of them . . . Hmmm, I need to fix the way I write. It seems so repetitive and clustered in a way.

Breathe  
Chapter 15: Because I Care  
By: LadyYuina

Kantarou was getting tired of the arguments he and Haruka were having on a near daily basis. He hated to admit it, but it almost seemed like they were an odd couple bickering over one thing or another constantly. Haruka's persistent nagging was beginning to worry him, too.

Did Haruka know something he wasn't letting on? Did Kantarou somehow slip up somewhere, exposing his distress too easily?

Kantarou quickly shook his head, dismissing all unwanted thoughts from his mind. Thinking too much never really helped, and it only served to give him headaches. Youko's absence left a heavy impact on them as well, and as much as the spiritualist hated to admit it, he already painfully missed her. He even missed everything that was annoying about her. Sometimes, it is funny how one's emotions work . . .

Here he was alone in his room, absent-mindedly looking out the bedroom window. It seemed far too fast that his life was falling apart for somehow, he felt like he was losing semblance of a normal day to day routine. Clients, too, had been trickling, thus adding to the burden of their plummeting funds. Kantarou needed an escape route, one where he was free of worry and tension.

Anxiety was not man's best friend. A dog was.

In such instances as these Kantarou would find himself thinking back to the times he'd played with Ichi, when he had fed her, walked her . . . and even bathed her. Kantarou still had a pillow that Ichi loved to chew on. It was sitting in the corner of his room with a plastic toy flower Suzu gave him. They were mementos to remind him of the companions he had lost.

Haruka had been watching his Master for a long while and though he did not see his face, he could sense his weariness. He stepped forward and then another, but stopped a few feet away because he was afraid to touch him. Their relationship was treading on thin ice, and it could crack and they'd go under if everything wasn't done with caution at this point. Haruka didn't want to destroy what little they had left.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Kantarou asked, back still turned. "I know you're there, Haruka."

"Any idea when Youko is going to be back?" This wasn't the question he wanted to ask, but saying what he really wanted to say wasn't going to warrant him an answer either.

Kantarou didn't seem startled by the sudden question and answered accordingly. "I don't know. Whenever she feels she's ready to come back, I suppose." He lowered his head and let out a soft sigh. "But I wouldn't mind if she returned right now."

He could feel it and dreaded what would come next. Tears . . . The last thing he wanted to do was to cry. What an embarrassing sight he would be.

Kantarou pursed his lips together, eyes glistening. It was quite unexpected . . . to feel tears coming. He bowed his head and closed his eyes. She'd found the written story about his life . . . They were in a crumpled heap inside his drawer. It was obvious now why Youko wanted to leave for a while.

She read my story, but by how much - the entire thing? The beginning or near the part where I last left off? Was it okay for her to find out . . .?

It only took one moment, one tangent feeling and Haruka was there beside him, hugging him close. He felt the Tengu squeezing him tighter when he asked, "why are you crying?"

Kantarou shook his head. "I'm not obliged to answer that question. It's nothing serious, really."

Haruka sighed. "If you're that perturbed, then I suggest you get lost." Haruka was taken aback by Kantarou's instantaneous remark, and a sad smile crossed his features, one the other man could not see. "Haruka, there's something I want to tell you."

"I'm listening."

"Your name, Haruka . . ." he paused for a moment. "It was derived from a girl I used to have a crush on. Remember her?" Realization struck Haruka hard in the head. Why hadn't he noticed before? "Don't get into a nasty tantrum now I said I used to have a crush on her."

"You named me after Haruka?"

"Yeah, I did. Kind of stupid, isn't it?"

"No, I don't think it is."

"You're not angry?"

"Kantarou, I'm fine with it. Haruka is a beautiful name, I cherish it." His eyes wandered to the corner of the room where Kantarou kept Suzu's fake flower. Another item was added there.

That's right . . . Ichi died too.

"This is out of the blue, but still I want to ask. Why did Ichi attack you that day?" Kantarou's expression became solemn. "You were badly injured . . ."

"I have no idea. I'm glad you came to save me, but I never wished for Ichi's death."

"My tears, there was something about my tears, Kantarou. What did I exactly do?" Kantarou moved away from the Tengu, taking swift steps forward and turning around. He wanted to meet Haruka eye to eye. Red clashed with brown, and they narrowed ever so slightly. "I already know I'm responsible for her death."

"You didn't kill her . . . and she attacked me because she was ordered to."

Kantarou shut up immediately, he was already blurting out the truth.

At this point, it wouldn't have been too difficult for Haruka to realize that he transformed. He touched a hand to his forehead as if he'd find something there. Kantarou watched him curiously. Everything was piecing together now, as Haruka thought back to the client that died, and back to when he and Kantarou came home all bloodied. He was responsible . . . he killed her and Ichi.

"I transformed at those times," Haruka said out loud, voicing his thoughts. "I was responsible for Kiyomi and Ichi's deaths." Then, as if crazed he grabbed the silver-haired man by the shoulders and shook him. "Why did you hide this from me! I could have hurt you during those times! Do you have to be so stubborn!"

"Haruka . . ."

Noticing Kantarou's blanched expression he let go, looking away angrily. The ice cracked a little bit more, tempting to tear their relationship further apart.

"I . . . I'm sorry."

Kantarou, now too, was fired up. "Stubborn, you say? Well, listen close! I did it because I cared! I wanted to keep you safe! You and Youko are very important to me! I don't want anything to happen! When you came home injured I was so afraid . . . I don't know what Dirina and you fought for, but I can't simply let that slip past me!"

Haruka grimaced, for he hated arguing with Kantarou. He was tired of it, shouting matches never solved anything, it only brought on more problems. "Dirina . . . Everything revolves around her, doesn't it? It's all because of that dead bitch that we're bickering, isn't it?" At all costs Kantarou knew he shouldn't give the truth to Haruka, and it was too dangerous and he could never really be sure. Haruka, on the other hand felt the same way about Kantarou. It was too late to back off now . . . "Dirina is the source of our problems."

She somewhat is and is somewhat not . . .

"Hasn't it already occurred to you that Dirina is already dead, Haruka? We saw her tombstone together."

Kantarou inwardly swallowed. He saw an escape route and was gladly going to utilize it.

"Yes. So are you implying that the person who attacked me is not Dirina?" Kantarou nodded slowly, red eyes flaring. "I suppose . . ."

He was not fully convinced, but knew it was better off to end it this way. Of course Dirina was dead. Besides, how could he be sure that woman was really her? Did she steal her identity? Apparently, Haruka had forgotten about the tombstone, and Kantarou needlessly reminded him. The last thing she said to him still bothered the Tengu.

_**Do you not remember me?**_

* * *

"_Monk Nanao, there is a lady here to see you. She says she has something for you." _

_Monk Nanao rose from his spot on the bench he was sitting on, and walked towards the open front door. Kantarou peeked out from behind him to stare up at the woman, and the first thing he noticed about her was her piercing brown eyes. Despite the rest of her being plain, such as a rounded face, and long dark hair that fell into a braid down along her back, she still gave off an impression one usually did not forget in a moment's glance. _

"_Kantarou, please put away my notes for me. The ones I have laid out on my workstation." _

"_Okay."_

A lone figure sat up in bed, having awoken from a dream. The sound of the crickets outside pierced through the room, filling the quietness of the night with song. Kantarou sighed and looked up at the moon. It was just another dream and one he oddly could not recall from his childhood.

His mind began to wander . . .

However, his dislikes for drifting thoughts lead him to his desk, and before he realized it he had a pen and paper in hand. Most of the page was already filled, but there was a blank section remaining. Was he supposed to write something there? Steadying his hand he tried to let words flow . . . He waited . . . and waited. Nothing happened. In his head he pictured himself writing, but in his heart he felt otherwise - it was beating wildly. Perhaps it might be the ideological excuse that one ought to say he was afraid of what he was going to discover.

"Stop hesitating, Kantarou."

He gazed up towards the sound of the voice. "Dirina?" Her eyes moved to his bracelet, and he followed her gaze with his own. "That's right . . . You dislike my bracelet, don't you? Why is that?" He tried to talk as quietly as possible so that he didn't wake up Haruka. Turning around to look he noticed it was not necessary. Haruka was not behind him . . . His surroundings had changed completely; it had changed to nothingness.

"You cannot leave that part blank," Dirina said.

Her eyes never left his bracelet. It made Kantarou wonder why she was so wary of it all of a sudden. She only reacted to it once . . . It was on their first encounter . . .

"K-Kantarou . . .?" Her voice became much more soft and gentle. Confused at the sudden change, he gave her a curious look. "Is that really you?" And yet in mere seconds her tone changed back. "Stop hesitating!" Her normally passive features became hurried and somewhat restrained at the same time. Her hand flew towards Kantarou's chest, stabbing him where his scar was, and he gasped in pain, dropping his pen automatically to clutch at the wound.

"Kantarou . . .?"

"What . . . the?" he managed to choke out. He passed out afterwards as his head fell heavily onto the table, hands still clasped to his chest.

* * *

"_Look here, Kantarou." Monk Nanao produced a bracelet from within his enclosed palms. Delighted, the child asked for a closer look. Upon closer inspection, Kantarou noticed small golden bells tied around it. Monk Nanao lifted his hand, slipping the bracelet through his right wrist. "You can have it."_

"_Wooowwww! Really?" The monk nodded. Kantarou shook his small wrist, liking the sound of the bells produced. "Where did you get this bracelet from? I really like it!" Smiling, monk Nanao said it was from the woman he met at the door earlier. "Ooohhhhhh! Why did she give me such a nice thing?"_

"_Because you're a very special boy; she believes you have potential."_

"_Huh? What is that supposed to mean?" Kantarou looked at the bracelet thoughtfully, eyes taking on a critical glint of inspection. He was a very inquisitive child, always wanting to examine everything thoroughly. The color of the woman's eyes came to mind, and nothing else about her mattered except those brown colored orbs. Why did it bother Kantarou so? "Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you what her name was."_

"_You've already forgotten? Goodness, Kantarou!" Kantarou shrugged, not knowing what else to do. "Her name is Dirina."_

For the second time that night Kantarou awoke again, feeling extremely weak this time. The stench of blood reached his nostrils, and he quickly looked down at his bloodied gi.

The previous incident came to mind . . . Dirina had attacked him.

He opened his gi and examined his chest . . . There was a large gash wound crossing along the line of his scar, and an unsightly crust had formed from the dried blood. The injury wasn't very deep to say the least. Looking over his shoulder he saw that Haruka was still asleep, and it surprised him that the Tengu hadn't awakened by the smell or odd commotion. Kantarou knew he shouldn't sit here and think, but when he tried to move his body screamed "pain".

Dismayed by this fact, he simply sat as is and took a moment to reflect on things. He looked down at his bracelet, jingling it gently. It never occurred to him Dirina was the one who gave it to him. In his early childhood she was nothing more than a woman who came and gone; a small figure in his memory…

Easily forgotten . . .

Kantarou suddenly yelped when he felt himself being pulled backwards, and Haruka's black hair prickled his cheek. Every thought about Dirina vanished from his mind.

"You're hurt," Haruka said. "How did you get this wound?"

"I fell on something." Kantarou made sure to be quick with his response so Haruka wouldn't give rise to suspicion from his hesitation. "Something slashed my chest as I stumbled around in the dark. I was thinking of getting a lamp but decided not to."

"Why were you wandering around anyway?" Haruka asked.

"Uh, well . . . You see . . ." Kantarou could feel his cheeks growing hot for some reason (but he knew he could play this to his advantage). "I was thinking of going to fetch Youko."

"Huh? Why?"

"What do you mean why? Isn't it obvious?"

"She'll come back eventually. Maybe I should tell her what happened when she's back."

"No, don't! She'll never let me live it down!" Kantarou moved slightly, saying "in any case, mind letting go of me? You're only aggravating my injury."

"Shall I go get some bandages?"

". . . uh, sure."

As soon as Haruka left the room he immediately looked to his desk, eyeing the stack of papers there. He couldn't let Haruka see them – he already made a mistake once by letting Youko catch a glimpse. Despite what he wanted to think, the wound hurt a lot more than he was letting on, and it was proving to be difficult to even crawl to his desk space, but somehow . . . he managed to. Frustrated at his own lack of strength, Kantarou simple stashed the papers underneath a tatami mat, makinging sure none of the pages were jutting out anywhere.

Haruka soon came back with the bandages, and Kantarou made sure to sit on top of the tatami mat that concealed his story.

"Take your gi off and let me inspect that wound more thoroughly."

Kantarou obeyed, pulling out his tucked in gi to slide it off his shoulders while Haruka watched. The wound wasn't really deep so it wouldn't leave a scar. It'd be ironic to have a scar on a scar.

"Stay still."

"Ow! Can you be a little gentler?" Kantarou whined. Haruka stopped his ministrations, hand paused in mid-air. Kantarou focused on it and noticed him trembling. "Haruka?"

"Did I hurt you?"

This was not an expected turnabout, but him not saying anything would have only made things worse.

"No you didn't, Haruka."

"There's no need to lie to me if I really did. If you don't tell me the truth, I'll . . ." Haruka trailed off, and instead said, "even as I think about this . . . I know I'll never be able to leave you. That's how attached I am to you. And I know I shouldn't be."

"Wow, I'd never think to hear such words from you."

"Kantarou, I'm being serious! Your lack of self-concern shall be the death of you!" Yet, just as easily as he raised his voice, he equally as effortlessly murmured, "I'm afraid to find you dead one day with your blood on my hands."

"Haruka, sometimes you make me wonder about things . . ."

"Huh?"

"Even that alone is enough. So please, say no more."

Perplexed, the Tengu remained quiet.

Chapter 15: END


	16. Information

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: This chapter is a bit sad, though I felt the desire to do this. Read on and tell me what you think with the submission of a review, please.

REVISED: November 4, 2012

A/N: It's been too long. It really has . . . LoL

Breathe  
Chapter 16: Information  
By: LadyYuina

"**Dirina is dead . . ."**

"**She is dead."**

"**She is long gone . . ."**

"**What are you trying to do, Kantarou?"**

For the second time that night Kantarou awoke. This time a cold sweat covered his entire body, and he breathed in and out in ragged breaths.

The voices he heard when he was with Ichi . . .

And the presence Ichi had sensed during that time . . .

. . . he found it odd he didn't think about it more.

Dirina was dead . . . So who was the cloaked woman? Was she posing as Dirina?

Kantarou rubbed at his temples, trying to rid himself of this annoying thought. This time he refused to go try and write. Dirina showing up again was his biggest fear . . .

"Kantarou." The silver-haired man looked over his shoulder. "Are you all right? You seem—"

"I'm fine. I just had a crazy dream, you could say."

"Is that so . . ." Haruka made no indication of letting the subject go. "Mind telling me about it?"

"Promise you won't laugh."

"I won't."

"I dreamt about Youko wielding a butcher knife chasing me around the garden. I woke up right when I thought she was going to behead me. Somehow, she seemed so manic this time. Usually she doesn't pop in my dreams behaving in such a way, hence why I called it a crazy dream."

"You seem really spooked." The Tengu's eyes narrowed ever so slightly and it made Kantarou worry if he was seeing through his lie. "But I suppose a butcher knife wielding Youko would scare you enough."

"Hahaha, right? She'd laugh if you told her about it."

* * *

"Can't you drive any faster?" Hasumi peevishly snapped as he looked out the car window. He then grimaced, remembering yesterday as if it were happening right this very moment.

Upon entering his home he immediately knew something was wrong. Rosalie was always there to greet him, and yet she was nowhere to be seen. He strictly told Youko to not take her anywhere so that couldn't have been the problem.

"_Rosalie, are you here?" He received no reply._

_Thinking she might be in the garden, he stepped into the living room to cross to the door that lead to there, but only to see a gruesome sight midway through . . . There she laid on the floor, lifeless and still. Gazing at the child's face, Hasumi could see the frozen stare of fear in her eyes. Specks of blood were splattered over her cheeks, forehead, and arms. _

_Beside her was Youko's headless body . . . _

"We're here, sir," the taxi driver announced. He immeditately threw an undisclosed amount of yen at the man, and told him to keep the change. He didn't care how much it was, for this was the least of his concerns. "Uh, thank you, sir!"

Kantarou nearly choked on his tea when loud banging resonated from his front door. Irritably, he ordered Haruka to go answer it, refusing to budge from his spot on the tatami mat. An almost hysterical Hasumi ran through the front door as soon as it was opened. He demanded to know where Kantarou was, and Haruka pointed to the living room.

Kantarou did choke on his tea this time, all thanks to Hasumi shaking him roughly. Coughing, he managed to say, "stop shaking me, Hasumi! What's the matter with you?" Kantarou pursed his lips at the sight of his rival; he was trembling so badly that the spiritualist thought Hasumi would never stop. "Look, calm down, what's the matter?"

"Youko and Rosalie . . ."

With raised eyebrows, Kantarou asked, "what about them? Youko's decided to come back now?" Hasumi shook his head. "Well, what is it then?"

"They're dead."

Haruka and Kantarou stared at him in disbelief.

Hasumi's trembling never ceased, and leaflets of tears were beginning to well on the corner of his eyes. "My poor Rosalie . . . Someone murdered her!" Lunging forward, he grabbed Kantarou's gi, pulling his face close to his own. "The police are at my house right now investigating the whole mess! And don't even think of calling me a liar! If you want proof, here, take Youko's choker!"

Hasumi then slapped a black bloodied object into Kantarou's palm.

"Look at it!"

Kantarou dropped it instantly, not amused by Hasumi's antics. He wiped his hand on his red hakama to try and get the dried blood crumbs off his fingers. Hasumi still had a hand latched onto the spiritualist's gi, so with that hand he yanked Kantarou up.

"Ngh. Hasumi, this—"

Haruka intervened then, cutting off Kantarou's words and knocking Hasumi back a step or two.

"I will not allow you to hurt Kantarou," Haruka warned.

"Do you honestly think I'm making this up? Would I openly cry in front of the likes of you two if it were all a lie? My poor Rosalie is gone, you understand?"

"He has a point, Haruka. This is unlike Hasumi – I've never seen him looked so troubled before in all the years I've known him."

* * *

The ride to Hasumi's home was extremely boring and, despite the urgency, Kantarou somehow wound up falling asleep halfway there (perhaps due to exhaustion). All the time that Kantarou was asleep, Haruka and Hasumi talked.

"There was no indication of anyone breaking in?" Haruka asked.

"Not that I was aware of. But to see them in such a state shocked me to the core."

"Would you believe me if I say something supernatural could have been the cause?"

"Supernatural?" Hasumi looked perturbed but didn't appear to be strongly against such a notion.

"There was no forced entry from what you could tell, no?"

"Well, I didn't look all around the house, so I could be wrong. Something supernatural sounds . . ."

"A little far-fetched, I understand. But whether you choose to believe me or not is up to you."

And thus, the two fell silent when they neared Hasumi's home. There were a whole squadron of police strewed about, and Kantarou awoke due to the ruckus.

"We're here?" he murmured.

Hasumi scoffed. "I am appalled at the fact you could fall asleep during such a dire situation."

Ignoring the man, Kantarou looked around from his seat in the car.

"What is all this?" Kantarou asked.

His face immediately paled upon the sight of a body on a stretcher. A white cloth was draped over it but Kantarou knew who it was underneath.

"Stop the car! I need to get out!" he yelled.

* * *

It took no longer than a second for tears to fall. Kantarou felt no shame, no thought of pride, or any semblance of a hardened reserve. He'll be damned if he didn't cry. Youko meant a whole lot to him, and to suddenly see her lifeless form before his very eyes was too much.

"Everything's going to be all right," Haruka soothed. He touched the spiritualist on the shoulder and patted gently.

As much as he wanted to turn to the Tengu and cling onto him, it would only expose something he did not want Hasuni or any outsiders to see.

"Well," Hasumi stepped forward and sighed, "I don't know what you're planning, but perhaps we can bury them together. Actually, in fact, I think they'd like that very much."

The earlier hysteria had gone and left Hasumi by the time they got here, and all his energy felt drained.

"I think so as well," Haruka commented, when it seemed like Kantarou wasn't going to say anything.

"I'll head with them. Are you two coming?"

Kantarou shook his head. He didn't want to think. He didn't want to feel. He didn't want to breathe. At this very moment he just wanted to die.

* * *

Kantarou lay slumped by a wall, watching the grass gently sway from the night breeze. Despite it, there felt like a stagnant stench of something unfamiliar, and tried as he might he couldn't hint at what it could be.

"Haruka?" he called out.

"I'm right here," came a voice. "Up top."

"Oh, the roof?"

"Want me to come down then?"

"No. Stay there. I just wanted to make sure you were close by."

"Kantarou. Don't worry too much. Wherever she is now, she's fine."

"Buwhahahaha!"

"I'm being serious," was the retort.

"I know, but I never thought for you to say something like that. It's unbecoming of you, I guess. Although to realize you also have this side of you is mildly surprising." He leaned away from the wall and looked up. "I know she wouldn't want me moping around. I know she'd laugh if she saw me dragging my feet all day and acting like a lifeless idiot. I know it all."

"Then chin up and chest out. There's no time to lose."

"Yeah."

* * *

Haruka came home to find that Kantarou was not in his futon. Instead, he was perched outside in the garden, dozing peacefully on the high wooden ramp. Coming closer to his Master he noticed he reeked of strong aged sake.

"Geeze, so you ended up drinking during the short time I was away, eh. I didn't think a quick fly around the neighborhood would give you enough time to get this wasted."

He eyed the bottles lined up on the grass and sighed, muttering, "there goes the rest of the money for the week."

And without further thought he lifted the silver-haired man and carried him to his room. However, right as Kantarou was placed there he suddenly awoke and jerked upward into a sitting position.

In a drunken stupor, he asked, "where am I?"

"In bed," Haruka replied.

"Was I sleeping this whole time? I can't remember."

"Pretty much; however, I just brought you here. Bet it feels much better than cold hard wood."

"I think I saw Youko earlier! She . . . she was standing by some bushes! I . . ." Kantarou fell back against his futon as tears streamed down the sides of his cheeks. "I saw her!"

"I'm sure you did," was the only thing Haruka could think to say.

"She held out her hand to me, and smiled so sweetly."

Haruka looked away, frowning. His Master drunk and sobbing was not what he wanted to contend with.

"Promise me you won't leave me too?"

Taken aback, the Tengu looked to his Master, eyes agape. His tears had ceased but the despaired look on his face was still there. All Haruka wanted to do was hug his Master tightly and melt him away with words . . .

If only it were so simple . . .

And yet, by some mercy he was spared the agony of having to answer, for the drunkard fell hard and fast asleep. Deep, dark set eyes roved over the spiritualist's body, and they stopped where a red stain was peeping through. He got up and readied fresh bandages for the morning.

* * *

Reiko came the very next day (thanks to Hasumi informing her). She was like an old lady mourning for her beloved grandchild. Haruka thought his ears were going to explode when Reiko arrived, and he believed she could've shattered window glass if they had any.

Kantarou wasn't doing any better either . . . He sat at the living room table (albeit still suffering from a slight hangover) while he sipped tea for the majority of the day. It appalled him Kantarou had not once needed to visit the bathroom for a refresher. All in all, Reiko and Kantarou were acting really out of character . . .

"Reiko, stop your damn wailing and Kantarou, stop acting as if you don't have a care in the world. You can't escape from reality," Haruka reprimanded.

"Youko died not long ago, do you not care?" Reiko questioned. She was asking more in lieu for herself, rather than for Kantarou.

"Of course I do. But me being level-headed somehow relates to me not giving a damn? Is that what you're implying?"

"Hmph!" Reiko crossed her arms as she furrowed her brows. "The least you can do is to show your support! Look at poor Kantarou! He's . . . He's going to the loony bin!"

"For starters, quit yelling then!" Kantarou suddenly snapped, and like the start of a horrifying quake, the silver-haired man stood up and promptly doused the poor woman with tea. And what followed suit was a sound slap across her cheek. "Shut the hole in your face before I kick you out!"

Haruka watched in flabbergasted awe.

"Haruka, I'm going to my room. Don't bother me."

"Ah . . . Sure."

Reiko sat where she was as she cradled her stinging cheek. Rivets of tears pooled down either side, and Haruka could tell she was just as shocked as he was.

"I didn't mean to . . ." she started.

"He had a little too much to drink last night. I wouldn't put it past him to be very cranky."

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried."

"Understandable. But, are you going to sit their moping or are you going to get cleaned up?"

She simply nodded and rose.

* * *

His face and body was burning and he was sweating lightly, but the man hadn't the energy to get up to change. Red eyes roamed across the span of the room, and they came to rest at a peculiar spot. The pillow and flower were still there, pristine and untouched.

"Kantarou, are you all right?" Reiko gave him a sidelong glance from where she was.

He did not reply and did not look at her.

A few seconds went by and she opted to go to his side. Raising a hand, she gently felt his forehead. Suddenly wide-eyed, she exclaimed, "You're burning up!"

Brushing her hand away, he said, "I'm fine."

Reiko frowned.

"But . . ."

The spiritualist scooted around the other way, head bowed, and this only caused Reiko's frown to deepen.

"Um . . . Well, then. I think I'll be going." She stood and went towards the Tengu. "And Haruka, please take care of him."

"I will."

"Where's Youko's choker?" Kantarou asked. Reiko stopped in mid-stride, looking at him curiously. Haruka did the same. "Have you seen it, Haruka?"

Chapter 16: END


	17. Fever?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

REVISED: December 31, 2012

I was rewriting some parts over and over in this chapter till I was satisfied. So embarrassing! Sometimes I wonder how I could put out stuff like this for people to read (even with revisions and all!) *ahem* Well, the die has been cast, so yeah. XD

Have a Happy New Year! (2013~)

Breathe  
Chapter 17: Fever?  
By: LadyYuina

"I don't think I have," was the response. "It isn't an urgent cause for alarm, Kantarou. I advise you rest for the time being."

"I'm fine. Stop babying me all of a sudden."

"I'm not. I'm going to care for a precarious little man who doesn't know his own limits."

"No." Kantarou's lower lip jutted out, eyes narrowing, much like a child's way of defiance. "You're wrong. You and Reiko are one in the same. I can see your ploy."

"Excuse me?" Reiko retorted. She may have been left a smarting reminder by Kantarou, but that wasn't going to stop her from doing her job. "Have you become so delusional as to think we're plotting something against you? I think something has possessed him, Haruka."

"You know what, Reiko, how about you go make yourself scarce; I thought you were going to leave."

"Firstly, Mr. Demented, I apologize for my behavior earlier, but I only acted that way out of concern. However, I am not angry for what you did and what's happened has happened. And for your own good, please let Haruka help you."

"I want her choker." Tears were beginning to well up and he was trying his hardest to hide his face. "It's not the same anymore. Nothing is . . ."

Haruka saw and went in front, shielding Reiko's view of the man. Turning his head, he nodded to her and she immediately understood. Standing, she promptly left without saying another word.

"Kantarou, I promise you, you'll get her choker."

Could grief and pity be blended together? Kantarou had to wonder. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

What a terrifying roller coaster ride he was on.

* * *

"Um, where exactly are we, Suzu?" Youko peered around her surroundings, brown hair swishing this way and that. "I understand the dead part, but I don't get what this seemingly endless bridge is for."

"It's not endless; it's just really, really long." Suzu replied. "I've gone through this bridge once, and I ought to thank Kantarou for that."

"Kan-chan?"

"Yup. He helped me through a while back. He's now given me a companion, too. She isn't here with us though; she's waiting at the other end." Turning to Rosalie, Suzu added, "and I'm sorry you got dragged into this. Now you're dead like us . . ."

"My daddy is crying a lot. I can hear him inside his room . . ." Rosalie automatically said. She clutched at her plushy tightly. "I'm sad too. I want to go back to my daddy so he can be happy again."

Youko frowned as guilt plagued her. She got this poor child into this mess. It wasn't only Suzu's burden alone: the price Rosalie paid for it with was her life.

Kan-chan, I wonder how you and Haruka are doing?

The last time I saw you, you looked so unhappy and drunk. Why was it that I could make contact with the living world on that night? I wish I could have told you what I wanted to say.

Maybe that chance may come again . . .

* * *

Kantarou sighed in relief when Youko's choker fell into his trembling hands. He wanted to keep it so badly . . . It was the only thing that he could remember her physically by.

"Thank you, Haruka. Where did you find it?"

"I had it all along." Kantarou's mouth went agape. "I don't know if you remember or not, but Hasumi had brought it here and you nonchalantly tossed it aside. I had the mind to clean it up and put it in a safe place."

Surprise changing into embarrassment, Kantarou exclaimed, "then why didn't you tell me! You let me make a huge scene in Reiko's presence!"

"And since when have you not?" Haruka asked.

Deflecting the question, he rebutted with, "but I asked if you saw it and you said you didn't!"

"I was put off by your behavior, so I was prompted to lie."

"I'm fine now, as you can see. No more crying. No more thinking the world has ended for me. I will make sure of it this time."

"You're still coming down with a fever though, there's no denying that."

"Yeah, I feel like I'm burning all over –– so hot."

Haruka stood and went towards the end of the room. "Go ahead and take it off then; I need to change your bandages anyway."

"Okay."

Haruka's features softened. Kantarou was back to his normal self, for his heated rage from earlier seemed to have disappeared.

Kantarou sat there quietly as Haruka busied his hands with patching him up. Looking at the wound for a moment, the Tengu couldn't help but wonder if he really did receive the injury from falling down. The very next morning he didn't see any signs of anything that tripped Kantarou.

Then, if he hadn't fallen, who could have hurt him? Was it really not me?

"Kantarou, about that particular night when you said you tripped . . ."

"Hm?"

"I find what you said hard to believe. I didn't see signs of anything that could have tripped you. Besides, what could make a cut—"

"Haruka, don't worry about it. I don't openly admit it, but I've had my own clumsy moments; that night was just one of them."

"I still find it strange . . ."

"Stop it, will you? I'm still alive and breathing, so calm your wits."

"No."

"Huh?"

"Let me tell you again because if I was the one who hurt you, I need to know."

Kantarou let out an exasperated sigh. "It wasn't you. I tripped. I fell, got hurt. End of story."

"You're lying . . ."

"No, I'm not! Haruka, just drop it!"

Not wanting to turn it into a sudden yelling match, the Tengu stilled his tongue. No matter how much he wanted to suppress the idea, he couldn't help but think he was the one who hurt his own master.

Staring down at his own hands pressed against the small man's body, Haruka could easily see the devastation.

"By the way . . . Once you're done, get out. I want to sleep a bit. My body's kind of achy," Kantarou explained.

Haruka nodded. "I'll finish up now then."

* * *

"_Monk Nanao, my bracelet just shook. Why did it do that?" Kantarou asked, overly frightened. _

_The monk smiled and said, "there are spirits present."_

"Spirits! Where! Shouldn't we hide? Aren't they going to attack us?"

"_No, no, Kantarou. Your bracelet is shaking gently, yes?" The child nodded, looking at the object of conversation thoughtfully. "When it shakes gently like that it means the spirits will not attack us. You're a very special boy after all, so they don't want to hurt you. If I don't say so myself, I think they're curious to get to know about you."_

"_I don't want to get to know them! What if . . . they're scary?"_

"_Hahaha, Kantarou, my child, there's no need to be scared. You should be happy that the spirits want to know more about you; they might help you out in life."_

"_Really?" Kantarou's eyes grew wide. "How?"_

"_Can you hear them?"_

"_No."_

"_Listen carefully." _

"_I can't hear anything. But now my bracelet won't stop shaking either . . ."_

"_They're very intrigued, they won't leave so easily." Monk Nanao sat down on the grass and prepared to unwrap his bagged lunch. _

"_Is it okay to eat here?"_

"_Yes."_

_Somewhat warily, the child sat down and began unpacking his own food, but midway through he explained, "Monk Nanao, I'm going to take it off – it's shaking too much."  
_

"_It seems she made the right choice in giving it to you. Promise me you'll take good care of it." _

* * *

The persistent jingling of his bracelet awoke Kantarou. He absentmindedly brushed a hand across his forehead and was met with dampness – a thin film of sweat glistened on his hot, alabaster-colored skin. Pushing his blanket away all he could think to do was to catch the night breeze, and just as he turned to one side he was met with the solemn stare of a woman.

He stilled and watched her just as intently. Her brown eyes looked at him critically, scrutinizing him. However, only mere moments had passed before she eyed the tatami mat beside him. Hidden underneath was his writing. With a flick of her finger the papers slid from underneath the mat into her waiting hand.

Alarmed, Kantarou sat bolt upright, eyes narrowing.

"You still haven't completed it," she said.

Feeling a sudden pressure Kantarou found himself planting face-first onto the floor. By the loud thump he was sure that Haruka would have woken up, though he didn't.

"Don't worry about him. Rekkugen can't hear us."

"Rekkugen?" Kantarou lifted his head, as it was the only part he was able to move. "Tell me, are you really Dirina?" The woman made no reply. "Answer me! I saw her grave on the day I met you! You can't be her!"

"I am her." Kantarou grunted in pain as the pressure increased, bearing down on him quite painfully. "You didn't do as I asked; _that_ section of your story is still blank. You must complete it."

"Must? You are kidding yourself; I am not obligated to finish that piece of crap. I'd rather die than complete it," Kantarou spat.

For the first time he saw Dirina smirk and with paper in hand she caused the words on it to glow an eerie red.

The spiritualist shuddered out in agony. Pain like the prickling of a thousand needles assaulted his body.

"What . . . What are you doing to me? Aaaauuuggghhhhh!"

"Rather I use your blood or Rekkugen's?"

Kantarou tried to speak, but found he couldn't utter a single word.

"Rekkugen would be sad if you were to die, stupid man. Now, about that bracelet of yours . . . You need to rid yourself of it."

Kantarou shook his head forcefully. The words on the paper flared a brighter red, and he cringed in silent anguish. At this point the pain was near almost unbearable.

"Your life force is draining, yet you said you weren't afraid of death. However, I know you are lying. In fact, that is the one thing you fear most. You buried that lone fear deep inside your heart, refusing to ever let it surface. That is unfortunate . . ."

Tears began to form at the corner of his eyes, and angels be damned if he were to cry in front of her but the flashing streaks of hurt wrung strong. He couldn't, no, it was impossible to withstand.

"This is your final warning; complete this story or it'll continue to drain your life force until you die. Remember. Rekkugen will be devastated if you perish. I know him best."

Dirina disappeared into nothingness and the undulating pain upon Kantarou lifted. The papers were on the floor, bright red letters aglow. Unable to move due to exhaustion, Kantarou laid there for the rest of the night feeling sick to his stomach.

* * *

"Are you sure this bridge isn't endless? It feels like we've been walking on and on forever. However . . . I can't say that my feet hurt, I can't even feel them . . ."

Suzu giggled at Youko's comment.

"You know what, this is all Dirina's fault! She's the reason Rosalie and I are dead!"

The brown haired youth abruptly stopped and looked downward in slight remorse. "Youko . . ."

"I never got to tell Kan-chan what Haruka told me to say. I think he's in danger . . . At this very moment . . ."

"I want to go home," Rosalie suddenly said. "I hate this place, I hate this bridge."

Suzu sighed. Youko was fired up about Dirina while Rosalie was homesick. Could it get any worse than this? Looking up ahead, Suzu wondered if the bridge really was endless; after all, she was stuck here until she heard Kantarou's voice leading her to the other side.

Would we need his guidance again? Where was he now?

Saddened, all Suzu could do was silently pray they would make it to the other side.

* * *

Sugino sat beside Haruka as he watched the Tengu tend to his weakened Master. Muu-chan sat encased in his arms as she, too, watched what Haruka was doing. Haruka frowned, for he couldn't believe Kantarou had gotten much worse within a day: he partially blamed the man's lack of self-concern that he got this sick.

Even though he was hot yesterday due to a fever, he shouldn't have taken his gi off entirely. The Tengu looked at the wound on his chest, taking note it was still going to take more time to heal.

Kantarou, you idiot. How did you really receive that wound? Why must you always lie to me?

"Say, Haruka, do you need me or Muu-chan for anything?" Sugino asked.

He didn't particularly like the silver haired man, but he didn't want to see his fellow youkai suffer; and ironically enough it was over a human being. Haruka shook his head. The only request he had was for them to leave if they didn't mind.

"Are you sure we can't be of any help?"

"It's all right, I got everything covered. I know how much you dislike Kantarou."

Sugino sweat dropped as he laughed nervously. "Well then, I suppose I'll see you later."

"Sure."

It wasn't till Sugino and Muu-chan were nearly invisible to the nake eye, did Kantarou finally wake from his slumber. He faintly smiled upon seeing Haruka's tired expression; it wasn't hard to see relief danced inside his eyes.

The papers. He did a quick glance to the side and noticed they weren't there.

Did Haruka read them? Or take them?

"Haruka, where did the papers over there go?" He lifted an arm to point at the indicated spot. In response, Haruka said he stacked them with the rest of the blank ones. "They were blank?"

"Of course."

They were . . . blank? Haruka couldn't see the words?

Smile becoming bittersweet Kantarou held onto Haruka's hand. He wanted to hold onto him forever and never let go.

Chapter 17: END


	18. Blood Stained Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

REVISED: March 29, 2013

Breathe  
Chapter 18: Blood-Stained Eyes  
By: LadyYuina

Several days have gone by, and instead of Kantarou's fever getting better, it is getting much worse.

Kantarou is being given medicine everyday and gets plenty of rest. But, why isn't he recovering?

Is this really a fever?

Haruka was lying on top of the roof and listlessly staring off into the clouds, wishing his thoughts would drift along with them. If only the wind could blow them away . . . Very far away.

Tension grew within the Tengu, for Kantarou was so weak that he didn't know what to do anymore.

If he dies . . .

If he dies, what would I do then? What will I do on my own? I don't want to lose him . . .

Down below, inside his own room, Kantarou was also dealing with the same feelings. It wasn't hard to figure out that he'd die soon if he didn't act quickly. Fear crept up ever so slowly, and just like the witch had mentioned, he was more afraid than anything.

Is it selfish of me to not want to die? What meaningless kind of life am I leading now? Youko's no longer here. Suzu's gone, Ichi . . .

However . . .

Haruka, what should I do?

* * *

"_The spirits are really attached to you. When did you become so friendly towards one another?"_

"_It was easy! I can hear them now!"_

"_Oh? Can you hear all of them?" The monk's face lighted up with a happy grin. "That's absolutely splendid!" _

_Kantarou blushed, as he was not used to being praised. Even his own parents never congratulated him on anything. It was an odd coexistence, but despite that the silver-haired boy knew they loved him. If they didn't, they would've either mistreated him or kicked him out of their home long ago._

"So, Kantarou, what are they telling you?"

_Now somewhat discouraged, he said, "actually, I can't make out what they are saying. Does this have something to do with the bracelet?"_

"_How many bells are tied on there? Can you count them for me?"_

Kantarou did so. He counted a total of thirteen. Not understanding the monk's question, he asked what the significance of the number of bells was.

"Nothing really, however, in the western culture people there believes the number thirteen is bad luck."

"_Then should I take it off?"_

"No need. It's not bad luck here."

"_But . . ."Kantarou reached for his wrist and clamped down on the bracelet._

"_Thirteen bells . . . That's quite a bit, eh?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Have the spirits left you?"_

"_Ah, yes . . ."_

"_All right then, let's get going."_

Amid the sea of noise Kantarou woke up to one sound; he awoke to the sound of voices, to the exact same ones he heard when he was with Ichi. They swarmed around him inside his head, whispering things he couldn't make out.

He reached for the bracelet and felt the usual subtle vibration. Eyes still closed, he tried his hardest to envision the beings. Very slowly, very carefully, white wisps of tall figures formed themselves behind his closed eyelids. One was that of a child and though he could not see her clearly, something akin to warmth washed over him.

Why can't I make out her face?

They started to close in and the voices grew more intense, but before their words could become coherent enough, something tugged him back to the real world.

"Kantarou!" Strong fingers dug into his arms. He opened his eyes in surprise and red color filled his vision. He could feel himself being abruptly pushed upward into a sitting position, just as a cloth came to rest against his face.

Alarmed, Kantarou tried to push the hands away.

"Stop moving so much, Kantarou! What happened to you!"

"What are you talking about?" Haruka pulled the cloth away, showing him a crimson-stained cloth. "Blood? Is that my blood?"

"I think you should go see a doctor. You've been sick for far too long. How about I take you to a clinic right now?"

Kantarou shook his head. Not only did he not feel like going anywhere, he knew his lack of strength was because of the loss of blood. The fever only played a small part compared to what was happening to him now.

Haruka's shoulder sagged ever so slightly. "Kantarou, I know we've gone through this before, but you don't need to lie to me about your problems. All I want to do is help you."

"You aren't in a position to be saying these kinds of things to me."

"I don't care."

"What are you, some nagging housewife?"

"Say whatever you want, if my concern for you appears that way in your eyes, then I'll gladly let you call me as such," Haruka replied.

Kantarou gasped. This was a side of Haruka he never knew existed. When had he become so soft?

"For you, I'd do anything. Sometimes, I wonder how I could come to love someone so strongly, but you've taught me the meaning and value of friendship and life. It's something I cherish now and I never want to lose it."

In spite of the grave situation, Kantarou couldn't help but show a gentle smile. He wanted to sound just as sappy, though when he tried, no words formed other than, "I see. Thank you, Haruka."

Upon seeing the small glow that came from Kantarou's face, it nearly melted Haruka's heart. Human life was quite short, and it was made all the more precious because it was so short. But alas, there was no time to dwell . . .

"But, more importantly, your eyes were bleeding. What did you do?" Haruka asked. "Please . . . Tell me."

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's more like I can't tell you."

Ironically, this little statement of Kantarou's made Haruka remember something. Dirina threatened him if he were to interfere . . .

Did she threaten Kantarou too?

Haruka clenched his fists together, angry that he couldn't do anything. Dirina, or perhaps an imposter, apparently had then tied up in a loop, playing with them as if they were her dolls.

"There's no helping it. I know how you are, and as it stands you really won't tell me."

* * *

Hand trembling feebly, the spiritualist picked up his blue pen; due to the lack of energy he felt quite weak and light-headed.

It had been two days since his eyes bled.

He placed the tip of his pen on the paper, waiting for his hand to start moving . . .

"Okay, here I go . . ."

_It was dark outside, and the wind howled its eerie sound all around the house, through the floorboards, windows and doors. Lightning flashed across the darkened sky, illuminating everything for a mere second with bright light. Kantarou anxiously looked out of their small window in the kitchen, hoping to catch a glimpse of his father. His mother stood beside him, hands clutching at his small shoulders tightly. The child could sense his mother was afraid._

_Upon seeing a figure approaching their home, Kantarou cried out in surprise. "Mommy, look! That must be daddy!"_

_His mother frowned as her nails gently dug into his shoulders. "You can't be sure."_

"_But . . ."_

"_Come." She then proceeded to usher him into a closet. "You wait here. I'll go check."_

"_Why do I have to hide?" Kantarou asked._

"_Just stay in there. I'll call for you in a bit, all right?"_

_Though he was still confused, Kantarou decided to abide by his mother and waited in the closet._

_The silence that filled the house now resounded itself more forcefully when paired with complete darkness. The only thing the child could hear was the rapid beating of his own heart. He placed an ear to the door, hoping to hear the sound of his father's voice._

_Minutes went by and it all was still quiet. Kantarou had the mind to open the door, but was taken aback when something roughly slammed against it. He backed away in surprise, eyes wide. Then came the sounds of scuffling followed with muffled grunts and groans._

'_Mommy', he had wanted to call out . . . However, was it wise to do so? He was uncertain._

"_Aaauuuhhhhhhh!"_

_It was the sound of his mother's voice and without meaning to, he yelled, "mommy!"_

_In that one moment everything happened in a flash. The door was pulled from its hinges and towering before the child was a winged being, fangs bared and snarling._

_Terrified, Kantarou screamed._

_The child ducked underneath the figure only to trip over something soft and warm. He gasped as a pair of bloodied eyes stared back at him – those of which were his mother's. He hadn't the time to digest everything he was seeing, and now with him noticing the creature coming for him he frantically rose to his feet. Right outside the front door was his father, bloodied and lifeless. Long claw marks marred his face, throat, and chest._

_Then there was a sudden onrush of voices, but the child didn't care. All he wanted to do was get away._

"_Run."_

"_Run faster."_

"_Run away."_

"_Run, run, run, run, run, run . . ."_

"_I'm running! Dammit, I'm running!" Kantarou cried out. His tears intermingled with the rain. Within moments his clothing and hair were soaked through, and he shivered against the wind's mighty puffs of unwanted air. The silver-haired boy kept on running until his ribcage ached. _

_He turned to look behind him - no one was in sight. Wearily, he sat down hard on the muddy pathway as he tried to catch his breath._

"_He's coming, you know?" a woman's voice suddenly said. "Can't you feel his presence? It's such a resilient feeling!"_

"_Who-who are you? Show yourself!" Kantarou remained where he was, too tired to even move._

"_My, my, you're stuttering! Are you that afraid? Pitiful little boy!" _

_A woman draped in black appeared before him, laughing. A roar of thunder resounded overhead and it lighted up the woman's face. Her piercing brown eyes caught his gaze. _

"_He's coming closer, you know?" Angered, Kantarou tried to grab at the woman, and grunted in dismay when his hands met nothing but thin air and the cold rain. He stilled upon hearing her whisper into his left ear. "I'll tell him not to slaughter you like he did your parents, okay? You're awfully cute; I wouldn't want you to die just yet."_

"_No!" he cried. "No! I . . . I don't want to die! Someone please help me!"_

"_It's useless," the woman answered. She grabbed at his wrist only to let go when his bracelet magically burned her. "You wretched child! How dare you hurt me!" She spun him around, plunging clawed talons into his chest. Kantarou cried out in pain. _

_He began to fall forward . . ._

Kantarou dropped his pen as he trembled in pain. A slow burning sensation coursed through his scar. He still had a page to go before his story was complete.

"It's all becoming clear now. I . . . can't stop yet."

"_Rekkugen, don't kill him yet! He's mine!"_

"_Fine then, he's all yours."_

"_That brat's bracelet - the thirteen souls. How did he get a hold of such a thing?" _

_The creature known as Rekkugen shrugged. He flew to the boy's body and picked him up in his arms. _

"_Put him somewhere dry, Rekkugen. I don't want the little bastard to die just yet."_

"_Taking pity on him?"  
_

"_Of course not. It wouldn't be any fun if he's not alive for some entertaining torture."_

_However, something happened later that day that changed the witch's life forever._

"_Rekkugen! Your-"_

"_It's okay . . . It's better off if it's me. Go now before he seals you too."_

"_Rekku-"_

"_Goooo!"_

_Kantarou lay cradled in the monk's arms as he chanted something onto a sutra. The child laid so still, his skin so pale; one would think he was dead if they didn't see his raspy breathing._

"_Hang on, Kantarou. I won't let you die."_

_Small red eyes opened a fraction too late._

The story was now complete, and the blazing red letters faded to that of their original black color. Kantarou nervously stared at the paper, expecting for the worst. And yet, when nothing happened, he inwardly sighed with relief.

"Well done, Kantarou," Dirina said from behind him. He turned around slowly, red-colored orbs carefully watching her. "Do you know the truth now?" Kantarou remained silent. "Well, all right, you don't know the whole truth. However, I don't feel like telling you."

"Then don't."

Dirina snapped her fingers and the papers magically flew into her waiting hand. She smiled coyly at Kantarou before disappearing with the story. The spiritualist growled, throwing his blue pen in the general direction that Dirina had been.

* * *

"Where is the thirteenth one?"

"She is coming as we speak."

"We can't be united without her." Long slender hands stretched out in a graceful manner. Jet-back hair trailed along the floor, looking like dark vines. Ivory-colored eyes roamed around the room, looking at each figure in turn. "Our mission is absolute; it will determine the fate of Japan. At all costs that wretched creature must be destroyed or sealed away."

"We understand," the others chorused.

* * *

Kantarou stayed where he was for a very long time staring at his hands. Something he had long forgotten all came rushing back - things which he tried so hard to forget. It was eerily dark that night, and due to the thunder storm he couldn't make out the woman's face or see who Rekkugen was.

But monk Nanao told me Haruka was sealed away by my ancestor in the past. Did he lie to me?

Kantarou placed a hand to the scarred to his chest.

Was it Dirina that gave me this scar? That night, I saw her brown eyes so clearly, I can't be mistaken.

"What a pain! Why is there more questions coming than there are answers!"

"Something the matter, Kantarou?" Haruka peeked his head in, eyes scanning around the room.

Startled, the spiritualist yelped, "don't suddenly show up like that! You surprised me!"

"I apologize. Also, you're looking a lot healthier than you did this morning. Were you faking it?"

"Why would I?"

"Oh you know, to get away with meeting your deadline. Reiko's not easily tricked."

Kantarou managed a laugh and this caused Haruka to smile. Their current conversation might have come about to show some sense of normalcy, but whatever the two were feeling, who would spout it first? Haruka couldn't help but wonder.

"Um . . . Haruka, I've been meaning to say this so here it goes." Haruka held his breath, somewhat afraid of what he might hear. Anxiety consumed him for the seconds Kantarou remained silent. "I've been meaning to visit Youko's grave . . . Now that I've had time to think things over, I've decided I want to chant for her the same thing I did for Suzu. Maybe she needs guidance across the bridge."

Haruka was relieved. He was expecting to hear something akin to their relationship ending, or about the fact that he was indeed being lied to, but it was none of that.

"All right; if that's what you want to do."

* * *

"Where's she buried? Oh!"

Kantarou stepped forward seven spaces because he realized that he was standing on top of Youko's grave.

Just like Ichi's grave, she was buried beside Suzu as well. Rosalie's didn't appear to be nearby so he believed Hasumi buried her somewhere else. But putting those thoughts aside, Kantarou fanned out his gi, and aired himself for a moment as Haruka watched. A small orange butterfly fluttered into Kantarou's line of vision and his eyes followed the bug's movements until it lightly perched itself on his nose. Without warning Haruka clamped a hand gently over his face. Kantarou could feel the butterfly flutter frantically across his face.

"Don't move or you might harm it," Haruka said. The spiritualist's eyes widened upon feeling the butterfly collide with his lips. He jerked slightly. "I said don't move."

Angry, Kantarou pushed Haruka's hand away, letting the butterfly go free. It flapped its orange wings going higher and higher into the air.

Chapter 18: END


	19. Breaking Point

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

REVISED: March 30, 2013

A/N: Alrighty, even I thought this chapter was a lil' weird. Heh. Also, some parts got changed completely with this revision.

Breathe  
Chapter 19: Breaking Point  
By: LadyYuina

Tears rolled down Kantrou's cheeks like rapid waterfalls as he placed a hand on Youko's tomb. This time he came alone so Haruka wasn't around to comfort him. Kantarou laughed as he cried, feeling sympathetic for himself. He hadn't realized how dependent he was on his youkai friends; he never really thought about it until Youko died.

"_Um, okay, I'll call it Youko!" Just as the name was spoken a little orange fox popped out of thin air, and the fox pillar crumbled. The youkai was a small little thing, and her large blue eyes looked up at him curiously. Kantarou clapped his hands together in delight. He was acting as if he was in a magic show arena. "Hi, Youko! It's nice to meet you!"_

_The fox youkai simply stared at him, nose sniffing the air. Having never been known to fear youkai, he reached out a hand to pet the creature, not caring if he was going to be bitten or not. The child smiled when the fox youkai purred almost like a cat, as she leaned into his caressing hands. _

"_It's nice to meet you too, Master," Youko replied. Kantarou stopped petting her, surprised that she called him Master. _

"_I'm your Master?"_

"_Of course you are. You were the one that released me from the pillar. I don't know how long I've been trapped in there." _

_A loud popping noise rung through the silver-haired boy's ears as white smoke surrounded Youko. Once the smoke faded away Kantarou was standing in front of a naked girl. He immediately turned around, cheeks flushing a bright crimson. He'd never seen a naked woman before, youkai or not. _

"_Is something wrong, Master?"_

"_Whoa, look at that chick!" Someone called out from not too far away. A man standing beside him whistled. Youko ducked behind her little Master when the two men approached them. "Hey there, Missy, wanna have some fun with me and my pal?"_

"_This is my Master, I'm not going to desert him," she replied. Kantarou tensed when both of the men looked at him, and it wasn't surprising when they burst out laughing. Their laughter only made him blush harder. He almost fell back when Youko hugged him to herself._

"_How the heck could such a runt like him snag a hot one, eh?" one man wondered._

_Youko was quick to defend. "Don't talk badly of him! He gave me my name!"_

"_Hahahahaha, what is your name then, Missy?" one of the men asked. "My name is Tai and the guy here in the red bandanna is my friend, Ryou."_

"_Youko."_

"_I see. Youko matches you perfectly! You're a very foxy lady!" Ryou took a step towards Kantarou and Youko._

"_Best regards to my Master."_

"_Hey kid, how about you hand her over to us. You don't seem like the type that can watch out for themselves anyway," Tai told him. Kantarou frowned as Ryou laughed, his big belly shaking like a giant blob._

_Voice trembling, Kantarou defiantly replied, "no!"_

"_You hear that, Tai? The kid said no! What do you think we should do?" He had a smug look on his face. Kantarou was beginning to fall into a panic, because he didn't know what to do in this predicament. "By the way, how old are you, kid?"_

_Kantarou answered truthfully. "Ten . . ."_

"_I thought you were seven!" Ryou teased. "You're pretty small to be a ten-year-old!"_

_Kantarou opened his mouth as if to speak, but he ended up not saying anything. Instead, he puffed out his chest and stood as tall as he could and began to walk away, with Youko immediately trailing behind him. Oddly enough the men did not follow them; he never turned back to check. _

_Before they reached the clearing to go down to the town the child took off his tiny gi for Youko to cover herself. _

"_Here. I don't want to keep walking around with you like this."_

"_What do you mean?" asked the fox youkai._

"_I . . . I don't want what happened back there to happen again. We're only going to get unwanted attention."_

"_Is that so? If Master tells me to, then I will do as you wish."_

_She proceeded to wrap herself but it was a tad bit too small._

"_It doesn't fit, Master."_

"Just . . . Just cover what you can!"

"_All right."_

_However, Youko attracted a lot of attention as they strolled through the town to his home . . ._

Daylight was nearing its end as Kantarou sat stooped over his beloved youkai's tomb. His eyes were red and aching from the much needed crying he had done. A long sigh escaped his parted lips, and he felt like something inside of him had died; it flickered out, threatening to never return again no matter what he tried to do.

In the back of his mind he knew Haruka was going to look for him if he didn't return home soon.

"So this is where you are." Kantarou looked up at the Tengu. Haruka found him sooner than he had anticipated. "It's getting late, so why are you still out here?"

Kantarou was glad for the coming night, for it made his face harder to see. He didn't want Haruka to notice he had been crying.

"I don't want to go home yet."

"The nights are getting chillier. It wouldn't be nice if you caught another cold."

"No, I'll be fine. It's not like we visit them often, right? And since you're here, let's stay a bit longer."

"We came the other day."

"Well, I came again today. If you're going to act like that, go back first then."

"No. I'm not going to leave you alone out here."

Kantarou smiled, reassured by the Tengu's words. He reached out his hand and beckoned to Haruka.

"But listen . . ."

"Hm?"

"I've always wanted to ask this. What are you going to do once I am gone? I know I can't live as long as you, so I've always been curious."

"Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" Haruka reprimanded.

He indeed had thought about it. Plenty of times, in fact, but to hear it from the one he treasured most was rather unsettling. He hadn't expected to answer such a question yet, especially when Kantarou was nowhere close to being an old man.

"Detachment might not be such a bad idea, you know. It'd hurt less in the end. I think I've let this run its course through my mind as well. Perhaps . . . For some time now."

Confused, Haruka searched his Master's face, trying to find some reasoning for his words.

"Don't say any more. Such talk is stupid."

"Relax, I'm not being serious! Geeze!" The sudden turn of tone and attitude took Haruka by surprise. "If you distanced yourself from me now, I'd surely-"

"Kantarou, you asshole!"

The small man laughed but quickly yowled in pain when Haruka gave a smarting thump to the head.

"Joke like that again and I'll make you sorry you ever said it."

"Okay, okay, okay! I give! I surrender! No more!"

A joke, huh? Just how much of it isn't the truth, Kantarou?

* * *

"You two ready?" Suzu looked from Youko to Rosalie; she stood in the center, hand clasping each one of the other girls' hands. Youko nodded, indicating that they were set. "Okay, here goes nothing!"

White light engulfed the three of them.

Youko awoke to the sound of laughter - everything around her was white, like the place had been ploughed in with snow. Rosalie sat beside her, silently watching small figures hover above her head. Suzu was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Suzu?" Youko asked.

Did she get separated from us? Where'd she go?

"Suzu went into the room with the big door." She pointed a finger at a black-colored door. "She told me to wait here for her. She said you too, once you wake up, so we wait here."

Unbeknownst to the other two, Suzu was heralded into a big circle among other spirits. She, as one of the thirteen spirits, had to decide what their next plan of action was going to be. Everything - all this mess, it revolved around Kantarou, Haruka, and Dirina.

The witch's biggest scheme had yet to be revealed, though Suzu now realized it was going to be something big. The other spirits talked of her as if she was a threat to humanity. Suzu found it hard to believe . . .

If she was a threat to humanity then why only target Kantarou and Haruka?

There were many flaws to the spirits' plans, but she wasn't going to interject.

* * *

"This shall be perfect!"

Slender fingers ran themselves across the rough material known as paper. Words of the past singed its surface with a fiery red glow. Dirina's lips curved up in an devilish grin. The moment of truth had finally come.

"Rekkugen, wait for me, I'm coming for you."

Dirina began to chant as she laid the papers down in a neat pile. Her malicious voice floated around the room, and all soon fell silent save for the murderous hum now droning into her ears.

* * *

On their way home Kantarou remained tight-lipped as Haruka tried to spark up a conversation with him. In all his pain and anger he didn't feel like talking. Due to Haruka's constant chattering the spiritualist was sure he didn't pick up on the new mood in the slightest. But still, Kantarou thought it was nice to listen to Haruka; he had a nice voice.

"Kantarou, are you listening?"

He nodded against the Tengu's back, answering him in silence. In all of the time that they've been together, he never once thought of himself as a meaningful person to Haruka . . .? Was this how it really was? Slightly confused, Kantarou merely let his mind roam.

In fact, had anything changed much from long ago?

Kantarou knew words alone were at best, cheap. Actions, far less so, but even they could be pretended – false.

However, Haruka never did anything on purpose to hurt me. And nor had he shown any signs of disinterest in me . . . Nothing seems to be wrong so why this sudden feeling of a growing distance?

Kantarou couldn't fathom it.

During the following day Kantarou's anxiety continued to grow, and had become so bad that he refused to let Haruka touch him. The continual sudden onrushes of feelings were gnawing at him. There was no explanation but, he felt, and they all felt real, so very real.

Kantarou pushed Haruka's hand off his shoulder. "Just stay away from me."

"What's with you?" Hurt, the Tengu wanted an answer. "Why are you acting this way all of a sudden? Have I done something wrong?"

"No. No, that's not it. I can't . . ." Kantarou looked at him, eyes almost pleading. "Please, just leave me alone."

What else could Haruka do? The odd change in his master made him suspicious, but the sad reality was he had nothing to pin it to. 'Dirina', he wanted to say, but if he had, then what? What proof did he have that it was her doing?

"It's me, isn't it?" When his master failed to respond, he added, "all right, I'll leave. Rest well; I'll be back tomorrow."

And with that he left for the night and went to Sugino and Muu-chan's place.

"So, you're saying he's had an attitude change out of the blue?" Sugino asked.

"Not quite, but I'm not sure what's going on."

"Maybe it's what the humans call a mental meltdown, or was it a mental breakdown? But either way, he's probably messed up in the head now."

"Muuuu-mu-mu-mu!"

"What? You sure, Muu-chan? What makes you think there's someone behind it?"

"Mu-mu!"

"Cause you know so?" Sugino took on a flabbergasted look. "Now look here, don't go saying unnecessary things in front of Haruka. This might be for the best. Humans and us Tengu should have never intermingled in the first place."

"Maybe it's me."

"Excuse me?" Sugino strode up to his fellow Tengu, nostrils aflame. "How could you even think of blaming yourself? It's not you! It's that damn human! No one's put him into such a position but himself! Get that through your thick skull and you'll feel much better, trust me!"

"Muu-mu."

"My love, don't apologize! It's not your fault! None of us are to blame, you both hear me! None of us are to blame!"

* * *

When Haruka returned home the next morning, he quickly noted how deathly quiet it was. His only thought was to head to Kantarou's room, but upon him reaching it an immediate chill took over his body.

He placed a hand to the wall, trying his hardest to remain standing. From where he was he could see his Master sitting on the floor, listlessly staring at a section of the wall. He willed his mouth to move, to call out to the man, but no sound came forth.

"That human no longer loves you, can't you tell?" The sound of a feminine voice suddenly filled his ears. "I've waited so long for you. Why don't you come back to me instead?"

He shook his head, trying to dispel the voice.

"You need no longer leave your memories dormant. They are a part of you – you must remember."

Haruka's eyes started to turn black as his pupils began to dilate painfully. In an attempt to break free he clumsily staggered towards his Master, watching his backside all the while. It was at that moment that the cold feeling and the woman's voice both dissipated.

The spiritualist yelped in surprise and turned around so fast that Haruka fell forward. He backed away quickly, avoiding the Tengu like he was some kind of plague. Haruka breathed in and out heavily, trying to regain his posture as his terrified Master watched him. In the other man's eyes he saw Haruka as a creature from the abyss - dark and ominous, ready to devour him.

_Small red eyes opened a fraction too late. An ear-splitting scream aimed at the heavens filled the surrounding area. The child automatically pushed both hands up against his ears as he closed his eyes once more. And then someone spoke . . . He leaned in closer towards the familiar voice. It belonged to monk Nanao._

"_Kantarou, don't open your eyes! No matter what do not open them!" the monk snapped._

"_Don't!" a woman's voice cried out._

_He nodded, much too afraid and cold to do anything else. Rain pelted down on them, hitting their skin hard enough to make it sting._

_Why was it raining so hard? Why am I hearing all this noise? Why can't I open my eyes?_

_The silver-haired boy could feel sharp talons threaten to break the surface of his skin. A snarl came so close to his ear that he could feel its warm breath upon his face._

_Don't open my eyes! Monk Nanao told me not to open my eyes! _

"Kantarou." He felt a gentle nudge to his arm. "Kantarou, wake up. Are you having a bad dream?"

He slowly opened his eyes and an automatic blush crept up his cheeks when he noticed how close his and the Tengu's faces were. He made as if to sit up, but was gently held in place by Haruka's hand.

"You're trembling. Are you all right?"

Brows furrowing, he said, "I think so."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Kantarou shook his head. "No, I'd rather not. But . . ."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Oh, never mind."

Something else also tugged at his memory. What it was exactly, he couldn't remember.

* * *

"Are you all sure this is going to work?" All of the spirits looked at the girl. "I mean . . . This won't hurt Kantarou, would it?"

"Why does it bother you whether he gets hurt or not?" one of them asked.

Suzu looked to the one who spoke and quickly took note of her dark green hair and murky blue eyes. If she recalled correctly, the woman was known as Dasarani.

"It bothers me because he is my friend."

"How touching!" The woman let out a low laugh. "You should know that as a spirit of one of the thirteen you must feel indifferent when it comes to what is best for the fate of Japan."

"I'm aware of that," Suzu retorted.

"You're the latest fledging to come here, so your words will be pardoned. However, don't take what is means to be one of us lightly."

"I understand."

"Good. Let us begin then. Please recite your name in the order of your summoning. Dasarani."

"Hikei."

"Rouna."

"Tatsuza."

"Yoji."

"Hakkui."

"Rinna."

"Kokuji."

"Hidema."

"Ina."

Suzu pursed her lips for a moment as she gazed all around the room. None met her gaze except for Dasarani. She nodded and Suzu spoke.

"Suzu."

"Tou."

"Zaitsu."

Dasarani stood and said, "that seems to be everyone. Let us begin."

Chapter 19: END


	20. Memories Awaken, Restless Dreams Slumber

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: After this chapter there are roughly five more left to go until this all ends. T.T And, yay, I just got the first dvd of "Tactics"! ;-D

Breathe  
Chapter 20: Memories Awaken, Restless Dreams Slumber  
By: LadyYuina

A soft humming sound sprung forth a whole new light from a little black cauldron. A high peaked witches' hat stuck out on one side. Bright brown eyes watched the cauldron, the orbs never left their item of desire. From its line of vision the eyes could see its target lying peacefully on the other end of the room. His spiky black hair covered his eyes, making his eyelids almost impossible to see. The woman standing beside the cauldron actually squealed in delight just at the sight of him, she was finally getting Rekkugen back. This time she was going to make sure that she'd never lose him.

She made her way towards him, holding a cup full of her concoction. "Wake up, my dear Rekkugen. I have something for you to drink."

Haruka opened his eyes slowly, alarm overtaking him completely when saw the woman before him.

"My, my, what a horrible look you're giving me! You look as if you've seen a ghost! Don't worry, my sweet Rekkugen, I'm not a ghost." She reached out a hand to touch Haruka's own. "See? You can feel me, can't you?" Haruka recoiled, disgusted by her. The first thing that came to his mind was Kantarou.

"Where's Kantarou?" was his automatic question.

"Forget about that useless spiritualist! He has nothing to do with us!" Haruka snarled angrily when the raven haired woman approached him.

"Stay away from me, Dirina." Her face contorted into a wicked smile, one that Haruka wished he never witnessed. He roughly pushed the woman back when she got a little too close. "I said where's Kantarou."

"You're quite stubborn." Dirina looked to her spilled concoction. "Like I said, you should forget about that stupid man, he's not going to get in the way anymore. I've made sure of that."

"Where is he?" Haruka asked in a low voice.

"Will you stop it! It's always about him! What about me? Did you forget me, Rekkugen?" Dirina loomed over the Tengu, brown eyes flaring violently. "Did you forget what we shared? Our love? Our life together?"

"Enough! I do not recall such things! Now show me where Kantarou is!"

"Not so fast! Didn't I tell you if you interfered that you would die? Did you forget my warning or did you choose to ignore it? I know you don't want to die." She instructed for Haruka to sit and he obediently did so; it was as if she had chained a leash to him by the neck. "Now, drink this." She handed the cup to the dark haired Tengu. "If you drink that I will tell you where Kantarou is."

Should I trust her?

Without second thoughts he gulped down the disgusting tasting fluid. A warm sensation traveled down through his throat to spread throughout his body. Within moments a searing headache thwarted his head, pulsating painful vibrations. Memories floated around inside his head - most of them he never recalled performing or witnessing. He fell to the floor clutching at his head. Dirina patiently waited until his squirming subsided.

"Rekkugen . . .?"

From his crouched position the Tengu replied gruffly, "what?"

"Rekkugen, is that you?"

"Of course it's me, who else would I be?" The Tengu sat up, rubbing at his head irritably. "Goddamit, Dirina, what happened to me? My head is pounding with pain." He looked down at his clothing, suddenly feeling unaccustomed to such material clinging onto his body. "What is this? This isn't my robes . . ."

"Ehehehe, I'll go fetch you some new clothing. I'll be right back."

Rekkugen stripped himself and looked at the clothing he was holding in a puzzled manner.

What kind of clothes are these? Who would dare dress me up in such a hideous outfit?

"Bah, this isn't even made of silk!"

He threw them to the floor, unwilling to look at them any longer.

----------

"Say, where is that stupid monk? I'd like to repay him for what he did to me," Rekkugen hinted. Dirina shrugged, claiming that she didn't know the monk's whereabouts, she wasn't even sure if he was still alive. "Is that so? What about that stupid child that was with him? Where is he now?"

"I took care of him so you needn't worry," Dirina explained. "Besides, he's of no concern to us. You even went so far as to try and kill the boy. Now that you're back, mind telling me why?"

"What is there to tell? At the time I felt like killing, it just happened that I landed upon his family. It was all thanks to that despicable monk that I got sealed into that stupid rock . . . Now that I think about it how I did get released?"

"That stupid little boy you were talking about let you out."

"The monk's disciple!" Rekkugen growled in annoyance, hating the thought of being released by such a boy as that wimpy child he'd seen so many years ago. "That means . . ."

"Yes, you did become his servant for quite a while under the name of Haruka." Rekkugen snorted disdainfully, complaining that he would never in a million years be known by that name ever again. "Bold words you are speaking of, eh?" Dirina came up to the Tengu so she could clasp her hand in his. "You should be glad that I brought you back, my love."

"I am."

He kissed her passionately.

----------

It was a breezy evening as Kantarou lied on the tiled roof beside Haruka. The sun had sunk down behind the horizon only minutes ago. The sky was now showered with stars that lighted up the dark regions above. Kantarou closed his eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath. His hunched shoulders relaxed and his hands loosened their grip from behind his head; at this moment he felt at peace. A delicate sign escaped his lips only to be captured by the lapping wind.

A large hand thumped him on the chest causing the silver haired man to automatically open his eyes. A grinning Haruka rolled his upper torso over the smaller man; he was draped over him like a huge blanket.

A smile caressed Kantarou's lips. "Hey, Haruka."

"Hey."

"When did you get up here, I didn't even hear you approaching." Kantarou tried to sit up, but Haruka wouldn't let him. "Mind letting me sit up?" Haruka shook his head. Laughing, Kantarou asked, "why not?"

"Let's stay like this, your body feels really warm--"

"Hmmm, where have I heard a line similar to this one, eh?" Haruka blushed though he made no motion to move from his position. "Back then that was one lame excuse! You should have seen that look on your face! I almost laughed at your expression, however I managed to keep a straight face the entire time. At that time . . . you were being really sweet to me."

"Heh." Haruka brushed a hand across Kantarou's forehead, pushing silver bangs out of his eyes. "Your eyes are so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?" Kantarou turned his head away and shook his head. Out of the blue he couldn't bear the intense stare Haruka was giving him. A gasp escaped his lips when the Tengu had his hands slipped out from underneath him to having them pinned above his head.

"H-Haruka . . .?" Uncertainty filled the spiritualist's voice. "If you want to have . . ." Kantarou paused, unsure if he should say the word ". . . if you want to have sex, I'm not ready . . . not yet . . . okay?"

"I never said anything about sex, Kantarou, but if that's what you want secretly I can definitely give it to you."

"No . . . no-no! I don't want it!" Kantarou squirmed underneath the Tengu. At this point he didn't know whether he should fear Haruka or be angry with him. "Haruka . . . please release me." The intense gaze from the other's chocolate brown eyes didn't disappear - Kantarou gulped as he wondered what was going to happen.

"Release you, you say?" Kantarou nodded quickly. "Fine by me." He let go. In that instant the silver haired man pulled down his arms to tuck in front of himself protectively. He gently pushed at Haruka's chest, wanting him to back up a little. "I won't lie to you, Kantarou." He leaned down closer to his ear. "Sex was on my mind, I was hoping you were already ready after all this time."

Kantarou shuddered at the thought, he remembered all too clearly what happened on his first attempt. The pain afterwards was almost unbearable . . . He in no way wanted to go through a repeat of that horrid aching sensation again.

Surely Haruka and I can have a mutual relationship without sex? Should I be scared of it for the rest of my life? No, that's ridiculous! How can I be! I shouldn't be, right?

"You're such a wimp," Kantarou heard Haruka say.

Kantarou took in a deep breath. He hated it when someone called him a wimp. "Haruka, I am not a wimp. Just because I didn't comply to your wishes does that make me a wimp."

"Fear can be such a big issue, hm? Is that it?" The black haired Tengu sat back, his buttocks met the cool tiled rooftop. He shivered for a moment, one that was too brief for Kantarou to catch sight of.

As a matter of fact it was getting rather chilly outside.

"Ha--"

"Never mind that. It's getting really cold, let's go inside."

Kantarou opened his mouth momentarily, but then closed it when he realized he had nothing to say.

A shoji screened door slid open and close.

----------

"Where are we?" Rekkugen asked. In his hands he held a round object that was unfamiliar to him. "And what kind of an object is this?"

"Don't worry, we're still in Japan and that thing you're holding is a wooden marble."

"Wooden marble?"

"It's used to ward off evil spirits. Monks tend to scatter these stupid balls everywhere when they try to rid a place of something sinister."

"Interesting. Japan has changed greatly since the time that I've been sealed away."

"It hasn't really changed at all. It's due to the fact that I've studied the humans and learned their many mundane customs. This makes it easier for me to blend in with them," Dirina explained.

"Is that so?" Rekkugen snapped his head to the right when he heard soft rattling coming in that direction. Dirina sweat dropped, Kantarou was hidden behind some barrels to the right. She didn't want to show Rekkugen that he was over there. "What's that noise? It sounded like bells."

"I've tied some bells in that corner. The strong gusts of wind must be blowing them. I'm not called a wind witch for nothing, you know."

"Heh, of course not."

Dirina sighed in relief. She surprised herself, she never thought that she could feel so much compassion towards the silver haired man.

Why is it that I suddenly want to save him? I should let Rekkugen tear him to shreds! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea!

----------

"_Dirina, my child, come here!" a woman called._

"_Coming, mother!" Small shoed feet padded across the dirt road to meet face to face with feet larger than its own. Dirina smiled up at her mother while she held out a flower to her. The thirteen belled bracelet she wore on her left wrist shined brightly in the sun. It caught her mother's eye._

"_Dirina, where did you get that thing?"_

"_A monk by the name of Sanji Ryo gave it to me. Is there something wrong with it?" Her mother shook her head. "Oh, okay, he did tell me that it's a good luck charm. He even told me a tale about the bells. Would you like to hear about it, mother?"_

"_Why certainty! Please do tell!" Her mother smiled sweetly._

"_All right!"_

In the province of Wann there lived three beautiful girls by the names of Ina, Rouna, and Zaitsu. To the farthest land of the east of Wann province, Ina resided in a small hut with her family. She had only a mother and two older siblings; two older brothers. Rouna lived to the land farthest from Kasumi ocean, here she stayed with her mother and father. A little ways off from the Kasumi ocean lived Zaitsu and her mother, father, brother, and two sisters.

Ina and Rouna were very good friends even though they lived very far apart. It was only a year ago that they had met one another. Ina was playing by the Kasumi ocean by herself until another girl came to join her.

"Hi, my name is Rouna. What's yours?"

"My name is Ina."

"Ina. That's a very pretty name! I like it!"

"T-thank you."

"I just came over from the west in a town called Shibuku. Have you ever heard of that place?" Ina shook her head. In all her life she hasn't known any other place other than her own cozy little village. "Well anyways, I came to visit my grandfather. He's famous for his medicinal powders."

"Oh, Mr. Natsuki! Wow, you're related to him?" Ina's eyes sparkled with delight. "I will never forget him for what he did for my mother! She would have died from sickness if we hadn't stumbled upon him!"

Rouna grinned, pleased to hear that her grandfather was tirelessly doing good deeds for everyone in the village. Remembering that she had some candy she produced them from her pocket. Ina stared at them in wonder - she knew what candy was but she'd never seen any like Rouna's.

"Want some?" Before Ina could even answer Rouna thrust some into her hand. "Try them, they're really food."

"What are they called?" Ina looked down at them stupidly.

"Star candy!"

"Star candy?"

"Yup. My mommy made these for me, she says the ingredients she used came from the heavens. Though I don't believe her. In fact, I know what she really uses but I'm not going to tell her."

"I see."

After that day, Rouna and Ina became good friends. What had been two weeks at the small village by Kasumi ocean felt like days to Rouna and Ina. Their friendship was strong and they didn't want to break the chain. The day prior to Rouna's departure she made sure to give Ina more star candies - she fastened them to string to create a necklace. Ina kept it ever since, not wanting to forget her friend.

"_That was a very nice story, Dirina, however you didn't say anything about Zaitsu other than her family members."_

"_Monk Sanji wouldn't tell me . . . He said her story was dark and scary. He was completely convinced that I wouldn't want to hear it." Dirina thumbed through each of the bells slowly as she tried to remember the other stories. "There were a lot more, although I can't remember them all. The one about Ina and Rouna was my favorite so that one came to mind easily."_

_The child growled in frustration when she couldn't recall the other stories. "Don't fret over it, Dirina, it's not a problem that I don't hear the other stories. They must be wonderful and beautiful tales and besides I'm afraid that we're a little short on time."_

"_Huh? Why?"_

"_The Bishop is coming over to have dinner with us. Go wash up and dress properly for once!"_

"_Hahaha, okay!"_

Chapter 20: END


	21. Distortion

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Thank you to my faithful reviewers thus far that are still giving me something to read about for every chapter. Thank you so much! Please keep em' coming!

Also, if you see text written in **bold, black coloring like this** it is not Dirina's thoughts. If you don't understand now, read the chapter and perhaps you'll understand then.

Breathe  
Chapter 21: Distortion  
By: LadyYuina

At a very young age Dirina would visit the lonely monk often. It pleased her that he didn't live too far from her own home, so it was easy to make the trip back and forth without too much trouble. Today, Dirina was feeling really giddy, monk Sanji promised to show her how he made his many sutras. To most children this was perhaps going to be a boring lecture, however, for the small girl she could hardly wait.

A little ways down the dirt pathway Dirina came upon a small green frog. She stopped to look at it, it also stopped it's endless hopping to look up at her. Her bracelet started to jingle gently. Startled, she clamped down a hand on it, this only made the vibrations more noticeable.

"What's going on?" Dirina asked herself out loud. The green frog croaked as if in answer. Dirina took a step forward only to have the frog hop onto her foot. A loud croak escaped its tiny lungs once more. "What do you want, frog?"

"It's talking to you."

The girl's head snapped up. "Monk Sanji!" The emotion she held within her broke loose - she literally panicked. "I don't know what's happening to the bracelet you gave me! It started to shake and this frog jumped onto my foot! What should I do?"

"Simply listen to it."

"Why . . .?" Dirina lifted her foot, causing the frog to hop onto the dirt floor. "I can't understand what it's saying."

"It's because you aren't trying to, Dirina." The monk's eyes traveled to the child's shaking bracelet. "Your bracelet is letting you know; it's responding to the frog."

"You're making no sense . . . are you trying to scare me?" Dirina asked. Her brown eyes studied the monk's face, though she couldn't find a hint of ill-harm anywhere evident on his face. He smiled at her reproachful glare. "You're making fun of me, aren't you?" Monk Sanji shook his head. "Hummmmm . . ."

"Ohohoho, never mind this, let's be on our way to my house. You still want to see how I make sutras, no?"

Dirina wasn't easily dissuaded. "I want an explanation for this before I go anywhere. My bracelet won't stop shaking . . . The frog won't stop staring at me and--"

"Ahahahaha, you're a very clever girl! If you want the frog to leave you alone you must listen to it, not look at it. Listen with your heart, not your mind." Dirina made a notion to close her eyes. "No, no, Dirina, do not close your eyes, you mustn't do it that way. Your eyes must be trained on it, however, do not simply stare, listen instead."

"I--"

"Try it."

While Dirina watched the frog she tried to listen to it as well. It was pretty pointless - the only thing she could hear was its annoying croaking and the shaking of her bracelet. "It's not working, monk Sanji."

"You may go, green frog. She doesn't understand, give her time." As if magically spoken to the frog in its tongue, it hopped away towards the grass. Dirina glared at the frog in amazement. The monk spoke and it actually understood him. "Your bracelet is no longer shaking so let's get going."

"R-right!"

----------

One year later

"Is that everything, Dirina?" her mother asked her. A sullen look was etched onto her features, making her look tired and old. "Before you leave I'd like you to take some cheese with you. He'd like something nice like that."

"Okay, I will, mother."

It's been a year since the Bishop of our town fell ill. No one knows the reason for his sickness, it was only implied that he couldn't get well no matter what anyone did for him. And it has been a year since I've been around monk Sanji, he's retreated to the mountains, claiming that he needed some time in solitude. My only guess was that he was tired of me; my presence, my urge to learn from him, my hindrance. It used to bother me, but not anymore: he's no longer a part of my life. A year is a really long time.

And, it's also been a year since I've mastered the ability to speak to the dead. Back then I didn't know any better, the little green frog was only asking for guidance to the other side. I wonder what it wanted me to do at that time. Surely, I had no powers. It's not as if I even do now, I've never had any powers, nothing spiritual, nothing unnatural. I've . . . I've always been me . . .

Was it for the worse or best that she came along? That she came along to fill any empty space inside my heart, was it okay?

"Bishop, I've brought you some cheese from my mother . . . She knows how fond you are of this kind. So please eat it and get well . . ."

Voice hoarse from coughing much too often, the Bishop replied, "thank you, Dirina, your mother is a very kind woman. I don't know what I would do without her!"

**Don't listen to him! He's lying!**

"She's doing the best she can." Dirina placed the wrapped cheese by the small bed stand the Bishop kept beside him. She took a minute or so to examine the man's features closely. His cheeks were extremely hollow and sunken looking. His lips were thin and ghastly white in color, they were chapped and broken. The sight of him was pitiful.

**You don't really care about this old fool! Look at what he's doing to your mother!**

"He's not doing anything!" Dirina said out loud.

"What was that?" The Bishop looked at the girl with uncertainty clearly showing in his eyes. A thin film of liquid flowed from his crusty eyelids. Dirina cringed at the sight of it. "I'm sorry, my eyes are acting up again. Please do look away if you can't stand the sight of me. I don't mind at all."

Dirina suddenly felt bad, her purpose here was to comfort this sickened man, not worsen the situation. She didn't like the way the Bishop looked at her, his eyes were heavy with deep sorrow. He was so far in that she was sure that she'd never understand. It's been a year since she last saw the Bishop's most sunniest smile, warm hands, gentle eyes, and healthy stature. How she missed seeing him that way. Now everything about him took an air of death. Sometimes she could feel her bracelet shaking beside the man's bed.

Were the spirits beckoning to him?

---------

Two weeks later the Bishop of this cozy little town passed away. He did so very quietly, no one knew until the fourth day of his passing away. His corpse smelled, a stench so strong I would never forget it. He smelled of decaying flesh - I almost wanted to vomit at the sight of his body, it was awful. I shouldn't speak of him like this, but there's no point in hiding the truth from myself. I mean why should I? I shouldn't let them manipulate me, the other two. One is mean . . . while the other one is plain evil. I wonder . . . Can I rid them from me? I don't want them anymore. Can they simply disappear? It was already bad enough having one, I don't need two.

My thoughts longer back to the Bishop and to the monk known as Sanji. I compare them though I don't know why. Monk Sanji was nice and so was the Bishop, they were both so alike. Was that why I turned to the Bishop when monk Sanji left? Was that when the other one appeared? She, too, had a spot to fill inside my torn up heart? I'm confused . . . So utterly confused.

"_Hello there, are you okay?"_

_Eyes as listless as the calm sea looked up. "What do you want, monk?"_

"_Nothing of course. I've only asked about your well-being. You look as if you're in peril, may I ask you if I can be of any assistance?"_

"_Monk Nanao, why are you talking to her?" A silver haired boy stepped into Dirina's line of vision. He was a petite boy, when she was his age she was a lot taller than him, she even had more meat on her bones. Although she was not assuming that he was malnourished in any way, in fact, he looked pretty healthy. His blood colored orbs looked up at her warily. They reminded her of her own eyes . . . Reminded her of uncertainty and fear._

"_Cute kid," Dirina commented, "what's his name?" She instinctively smiled at the child who shied away by her gesture._

"_His name is Kantarou. Go introduce yourself properly." The monk pushed the boy towards the brown eyes woman._

"_My name is Ichinomiya Kantarou . . . It's a pleasure to meet you . . ." Kantarou bowed._

"_My name is Dirina."_

"_Can we go now?" The silver haired boy tugged at monk Nanao's sleeve roughly. Dirina couldn't understand why the child was in such a rush to leave. It made her wonder if she had upset him somehow. "Come on . . . you promised me."_

"_In a moment, Kantarou." Turning to the woman, the monk said, "use this, it'll help heal the swelling on your face. Please do take care of yourself."_

_Swelling on my face?_

_Dirina's hands went to her face to feel the proclaimed bump there._

_Oh, how could I forget about this . . . I received it when I fell hard on my face. Heh, how careless of me. How'd that happen anyway? Oh well._

----------

"Dirina, what kind of food is this?" Rekkugen poked at it with his chopsticks, eyeing it critically. "Are you sure it's edible?"

"Of course, it's only octopus," Dirina answered. She looked at her companion for a moment. "You know, you're much softer than before. You were always such a tyrant back then." Rekkugen cocked an eyebrow at her. "Perhaps your attitude changed because of the other being known as Haruka?"

"Haruka, heh, I don't even know the guy. You speak as if you're familiar with him. Nothing funny happened while I was gone, correct?" he drawled. A hard tug on Dirina's arm signified that he had control over her and that she was his woman. No one else's. Dirina shrugged him off, stating that she had no interest in Haruka whatsoever. "Good." Rekkugen scratched at a fang and winced, "I'm itching to kill something, let's go hunting for fun. Anything moving, breathing, and warm will do."

"Thought you'd never suggest this."

Dirina and Rekkugen stepped out into the open to the pitch black of night.

----------

That kid, he was incredibly cute. It's funny how I can't stop thinking about him. If he were my son I'd love him with everything that I am. Absolutely everything. Such foolish thoughts! I don't even have a husband let alone a child. I really, really, really, do want a child. Boy or girl wouldn't matter to me. Kantarou . . . That was his name. It feels cool to the voice, amazingly wonderful to my lips. I hope to meet him again one day.

This burning desire I feel to see him now is very forthcoming. Why is it that I feel this urge? What makes me attracted to that child? His adorable smile, bright red eyes, and abnormally colored hair. His small hands were trembling when I first met him, I didn't want him to be afraid of me . . .

**He doesn't like you, can't you tell, Dirina?**

That's not true! Kantarou was merely shy! He . . . He wasn't afraid . . .

**Hah! Look at you! You're pathetic! Stop pining over a child like him! He's nothing special! **

I will see him again someday because he is special. Just watch me.

----------

"Monk Nanao, who was that woman that we met the other day? I can remember the way she looks, but I can't remember her name."

"Haha, don't fret over it," monk Nanao replied. He expertly sliced through a ripe cantaloupe, neatly halving it dead set in the center. Kantarou watched with a fascinated expression on his face. Monk Nanao handed out a slice to him. "Here you are." The child immediately took a bite out of the orange colored flesh. "Is it juicy and sweet?" Kantarou nodded.

Smiling, monk Nanao ate one too. For the rest of the afternoon Kantarou and the monk sat on the porch eating fresh cantaloupe.

----------

**You've gone mad for that child! Why is it that you want to see him so?**

Like before Dirina started to talk to her own mind mentally.

I really want to see him. I won't deny that, I feel a great aura coming from him; he's definitely special. I think--

**Stop talking such nonsense! A stupid woman like you can never know anything!**

I'm going to see him.

**What!**

Right now . . . I want to see him, even if it may be my last . . . You, the stupid voice in my head isn't going to stop me. Now leave me alone.

**I can't do that. You're the one who created me after all. There's nowhere for me to go other than remain here in your mind.**

Hmph.

It didn't take very long for Dirina to arrive at her designated location. She started to tremble, unable to contain the overwhelming happiness that she was feeling. Luckily for her the voiced remained tight-lipped, if it were to talk now she was pretty sure it'd easily persuade her to go back. Very carefully Dirina walked up the steps to the house, not really understanding why she came to this particular home, however, she had a strong feeling that the child lived here. She knocked.

"Coming!" She could hear the child's voice. Her heart beat faster at the anticipation: the door slid open.

"Oh." Red colored orbs looked up at her.

"Uh, hi . . ." Dirina wanted to say his name, but she didn't want to scare the child. "Is the monk home . . .?"

"Yes."

"May I speak to him?" Dirina fought back the urge to run a hand through the boy's silver strands. She tried her best to smile sweetly at him, looking as good-natured as possible. Dirina's smile grew wider when the child returned the gesture shyly.

"Wait right here, I'll go get him."

Dirina could see the outline of Kantarou following behind the monk when he came to the door. To her disappointment he dismissed the child so they could talk in private. Putting her hands behind her back Dirina slipped off her thirteen belled bracelet and clutched it tightly in one hand.

"So, we meet again. How did you know I lived here?"

"I-I guessed I suppose."

Dirina sweat dropped, yet, she was telling the truth. It was only a hunch on her part as to how she accidentally stumbled upon them in this house.

"Ah, I see, moreover, Dirina, how have you been as of late?" the monk asked.

"You remember my name?"

"Of course."

Frowning slightly, Dirina tried to test herself. "You're monk . . . Momo, right?" The man shook his head. Dirina automatically blushed, mentally kicking herself for her idiotic mistake.

"It's all right if you can't remember me. My name is Nanao."

"Oh! Oh yes, that's right! Monk Nanao!" Dirina brought her hands forward then, presenting her bracelet to the monk. He looked at it curiously. "I want you to give this to that child that stays here with you."

"Kantarou?"

"Yes, him. I feel that he's a very special boy, so I want him to have this. I'm pretty sure he will like it."

"Monk Sanji."

Bright brown eyes blinked several times, Dirina gave monk Nanao a confused gaze for a moment. Then she looked down at her bracelet, a soft tingling sensation ran along her body from her hands.

"Monk Sanji is a great monk, I do hope he is doing well?" Monk Nanao asked.

They know each other?

"Do you know his whereabouts?" Dirina slapped a hand to her mouth, eyes widening slightly. The hand that still held the bracelet was still extended outward - it was a rather rude gesture to give a gift with one hand, but monk Nanao didn't seem to mind. Recovering, she said, "I-I'm sorry, I'll be on my way now. It was nice seeing you and Kantarou again after all this time."

Monk Nanao took the bracelet from her.

"I'll make sure he gets this."

"Thank you."

**Dirina, you're so pathetic. Just disappear.**

Chapter 21: END


	22. Change Of Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

Breathe  
Chapter 22: Change of Heart  
By: LadyYuina

"Rosary, what do you think is taking Suzu so long? She's been in there for quite a while now . . ." The blonde haired girl shrugged, she never took her emerald green eyes off the door. "Well . . . Anyways, I wonder what time it is?"

"I can still hear my daddy's voice," Rosary finally said, "he won't stop crying."

"Gee, he sure loves you a lot . . . a little too much if you ask me. If only he had the mind to let you go and move on." Rosary looked at her, her green eyes clouding over. "Erm, he and Kan-chan aren't too different, even that silver haired Master of mine moped over Suzu for a long time."

"I see. That means that Kantarou loves Suzu very much."

"Yeah, he did. For reasons even I wouldn't have thought of," Youko replied.

Heart filled with longing Rosary wanted nothing more than to go home and be with Hasumi. His endless tears were drowning her, making her sink lower and lower towards the bottom of an unseen ocean floor. How far down can she fall until she reached the bottom?

"Suzu!" Youko called out in relief. The blonde haired child turned her gaze in the general direction of Youko's. Suzu stood a little ways from them in front of the large lion emblazoned doors. Her shoulders were sagged and her expression was filled with worry. Without a doubt Youko knew that something was troubling the girl. She had to ask . . . "Are you okay?"

Suzu gave them both an apologetic smile. She no longer looked flushed, but Youko could still see an angry determined look in her eyes. It made her wonder what Suzu was doing inside the room on the other side. Ichi approached the girl and nuzzled her nose into her hand, Suzu smiled down at her. (Youko and Rosary, on the other hand, had no idea where Ichi came from since they didn't see her anywhere before.) Her heart was heavy with doubt at the moment, everything that had been discussed previously tackled at her mind. She couldn't see what the thirteen, or rather twelve souls were doing was just at all. However, this was only her opinion so she had no say in the matter since the entire team (including her) voted an okay on it. Still, afterwards she tried to reason with the others; she, being the newest member and second replacement for the thirteenth spirit didn't have much respect yet - unlike Dasarani and some of the other individuals. Sadly, it seemed Dasarani had the most influence over everyone though . . .

"Sorry, Youko, Rosary, and Ichi . . . I've made you all wait so long for me. I didn't expect it to go on and on . . ."

She didn't answer Youko's question although the fox youkai knew she wasn't all right.

"It wasn't a problem, I'm sure whatever you were talking about in there must have been important," Youko made sure to say.

"Youko, thank you for being so understanding," Suzu breathed out, happy that Youko wasn't going to pry her for answers. At the moment, she only wanted to keep it to herself and amongst the other spirits.

----------

"You look distracted, Kantarou, perhaps you should take a break," Haruka suggested. He watched Kantarou furiously scribble on a piece of paper; he was going so fast that it was hard to decipher what he was writing. "It's hard to read what you've written."

"Don't worry," Kantarou slowed down a bit, but he still didn't stop writing, "I don't plan to turn this one in."

Haruka snorted as he continued to stare down at his Master's paper. "Seems to me like you're running out of time. Shouldn't Reiko be here soon?" Kantarou cringed at the mention of her name. "I figure you are going to turn this messy draft in, huh? That's what you get for waiting till the last minute."

"You be quiet!" Kantarou peevishly snapped. "I'm your Master so don't criticize me!"

A soft knock on the door could be heard. Panicking instantly Kantarou stood up and bolted for it. He didn't get very far though, because Haruka snagged him by the collar of his white colored gi. Kantarou almost tripped over himself although he was able to regain his posture quickly.

"You're not going anywhere. Reiko is waiting outside, you better go talk to her. There is no way I'm going to deal with her annoying rants," Haruka explained.

"Why does this always have to happen . . .?" Kantarou groaned.

Haruka lifted him up with ease and carried an unwilling spiritualist towards the front door. Opening it both of the men saw the brunette haired woman staring angrily at them with her arms crossed, a big red pen in hand.

"I assume you are finished and ready for minor revisions?" Kantarou sweat dropped. "Right?"

"Well . . . Um . . . What if I said no?"

"That's it, prepare to die, Kantarou! You've made me look like a bad editor for the last time!" Red and brown eyes widened in surprise, Reiko produced a chef's knife from beneath her blouse. "I should have done this long ago!"

"Aaauuuuuhhhhhhh! Reiko, you don't have to take it this far!" Kantarou wriggled free from Haruka's hold to run away from the crazed woman. "Reiko, come on, give me another chance!"

The figure behind him seemingly got closer and closer until he was sure he felt something go amiss . . .

-----------

Kantarou's insides lurched and a gasp of air escaped his lips. The first thing that filled his vision when he opened his eyes was a dark, damp room with a musty smell of fungus, and plants too wilted to be recognized. Everything was silent except the horrible rasping sounds of his abnormal breathing; he even broke out in a cold sweat. Reiko's crazed appearance was still plastered into his mind, though it seemed like it had all been a dream. Kantarou slowly turned to the left when he heard someone approaching.

"About time you've woken up, I was getting bored waiting. Heh, she thought she could hide you from me, it's rather funny."

A long howling laugh resonated around the room. Somewhat frightened Kantarou sat upright and looked around in a tense manner. He couldn't see the owner of the voice, but he could hear him.

"What do you want?" Kantarou managed to choke out.

"Poor Kantarou, I merely want to have a little chat." He stepped out of the shadows and into the dimly lit lights. "Surely, you must remember me."

"Ha . . ." he couldn't find the voice to say his name.

"We meet again. Can you still hear the cries of your mother on that particular rainy day?" Spreading his arms out wide and cackling, he playfully added, "I had so much fun!"

Anger quickly replaced whatever fear Kantarou was feeling at the moment. He could clearly recall what happened on that tear drenched day, oh, how could he forget? Shuddering involuntarily he could still feel the hard droplets of rain pouring down upon him; stinging him.

A low, pained grunt echoed around the room when Rekkugen had Kantarou pinned down against the cold slab of pavement used as a bed. A growl rose from his throat. "Haruka . . . was that the name you were trying to say? That's just some stupid name you came up with, my real name is Rekkugen, not Haruka. You humans are such detestable creatures, claiming youkai as your servants and giving them a name. You should know how much I hate that human trait . . . Such arrogance!"

Kantarou merely stared up at the Tengu, he was well aware of how arrogant humans could be though that wasn't important at the moment in their current situation. "Just . . . Just give me back Haruka, that's all I want." The spiritualist didn't flinch when he felt the Tengu's nails dig deeply into his arms with his long nails. His face was drained of all emotion; much like a mannequin who had awkwardly toppled over without feeling pain.

"You bore me," Rekkugen announced, quickly getting off of the smaller man. "I don't know why she insists on keeping you alive."

A door opened and closed. Kantarou was once again sealed in complete darkness. The only difference now was that he was awake instead of asleep.

----------

Finding it suddenly heard to swallow Kantarou settled to coughing. He forcefully coughed and coughed until tears stung at the corner of his eyes. What he had feared the most for Haruka finally became a reality; it was a truth he never wished to discover. Haruka, or rather Rekkugen's cold, unfeeling eyes was still felt all around the room. It was as if they were boring into his soul.

Tears finally flowed freely down his pale cheeks.

"Haruka . . . Haruka . . . Haruka!" Kantarou shouted over and over. "After all this . . . I've failed to let you remain the way you were . . . I've miserably failed you!" He furiously wiped at his eyes with the sleeves of his gi. "Was this really centered around me like I thought it was? Or was it revolving around you?"

"Kan-chan . . ."

"Huh?" Kantarou looked up briefly before bowing his head down again.

"Be strong . . ."

"I can't."

"Believe in yourself . . ."

----------

Youko breathed the words out, wishing so desperately that her Master would hear her words. She didn't know whether he was fine or in utter despair at the moment, but she wanted to give him support nonetheless. After all, he made her trip to the other side a lot faster, she wouldn't be able to thank him enough.

"Kan-chan . . ." she had whispered, "be strong . . . believe in yourself."

Rosary and Youko gasped when their feet were no longer touching solid ground. They both looked to Suzu who wisely nodded, indicating that they were all going to be fine. Reaching out both her hands she signaled for the child and fox youkai to take a hold of them.

"Hang on tight and don't let go," Suzu told them.

"Okay," Rosary and Youko replied in unison.

Without warning Youko felt as if she was pushed roughly forward from behind, it nearly knocked the wind out of her. She looked up only when the lurching movement abruptly stopped, it had only been a few seconds before they finally arrived at their haven: the afterlife. Suzu let go of their hands and bowed before them. What happened next was totally unexpected. Rosary stretched out her arms as she held her dearest doll towards Suzu.

Looking at it, Suzu asked tenderly, "for me?" Rosary nodded and smiled. "But why?"

"Thank you for everything you've done for me."

A gust of wind passed by them, forcing Youko and Suzu to shield their eyes from the sudden attack to their delicate pupils. Ichi barked and ran around in circles. The wind died down only to reveal that where Rosary had once been standing was now unoccupied; she vanished.

"What happened to her?" Youko asked worriedly.

"It's all right, Youko, she's fine." Suzu hugged the green plushy to herself to feel a warm sensation overtake her dead form. It was the feeling of friendship, something Suzu hadn't felt in a long while. "She's gone on to another plane, I'm sure she's happy where she is now. I must admit I didn't expect something like that, however it was her choice to make."

"If you put it that way," Youko clasped her hands together, "then I'm fine with it."

"Well, we are at the gate to the afterlife, are you ready to truly deem yourself as a dead spirit?" Suzu placed her hand on the door handle and waited for her response. (Youko was amazed, she hadn't even realized that there was door in front of them until now.) "Just let me tell you, if you go through there's no turning back."

"I understand." Youko took a step forward and looked at the door for a long while. In her mind she was ready to accept her fate as a true undead being, but in her heart she still longed to return to her Master's side. A dull painful aching in her chest became profound, her heart desired something her mind did not. "Okay, open the door . . ."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes . . . Please do it now."

Before I change my mind. There's no turning back at this point. At least I'll still be able to watch him from above.

The door opened all the way, a gentle breeze lapped her hair and kimono sleeves as she walked on in. All was silent when the doors closed behind her.

----------

Haruka awoke to the sounds of a soft wind chime, looking above him he saw the small crystalline object twinkle in the wind as the little bead within struck at it's sides. Dangling in the center was a long thin strip of silk that symbolized the days of early spring. It was the color of pale blue with magnolia flowers decorating it. The scent of sweet incense filled the Tengu's nostrils - he inhaled deeply.

"Is the air that fragrant?" he hear someone ask. Turning around he saw his Master holding a tray with two beautifully crafted tea cups. "I've brought you some tea." Picking up a cup he handed it to him with one hand: Haruka didn't mind the unmannerly gesture though. "Here."

"Thank you." Haruka took the steaming cup and blew on it, forcing the steam to blow towards the sky. Kantarou watched him for a moment before settling down next to him, he too, blew on the steam within his cup. "You know, Kantarou . . ."

"What?"

"Today feels a little strange, doesn't it?"

"Why do you say that?" Kantarou looked at him worriedly. "Are you feeling ill?" Haruka shook his head. "Then . . ."

"Never mind, let's just say the midday sun has fried my brains."

What Haruka said wasn't too far from the truth, it literally felt as if his mind was in a cauldron filled swirling thoughts and emotions. The only problem was he was having a hard time sorting through them. Looking down at his cup he noticed a tea stalk standing stiffly on it's side within his cup. To the Japanese this was considered a sign of good things to come to one's way.

"Oh, your tea stalk!" Kantarou exclaimed, leaning in closer towards Haruka to get a better look. "You just received good luck on your side!"

"Heh, I don't feel any luckier," Haruka remarked. He placed his tea cup down and sighed, he closed his eyes and hung his head; it was the appearance of meditation. "I know you're staring at me, Kantarou."

"I-I'm sorry!"

Kantarou looked away in another direction, his eyes traveled to the nearby maple trees that grew in the towards the west. He could feel a warm hand creep up on the side of his arm. Within seconds he was feeling the beats of the Tengu's heart, it was rapid in it's course to send blood throughout his body. A slow blush crawled up on the spiritualist's cheeks, he was now very conscious of where Haruka's hands were aiming for. A firm hand went towards one of Kantarou's buttocks, giving it a light squeeze. Kantarou whimpered a strangled squeak in response as he tried to move away, however, Haruka's hold on him didn't allow him to go anywhere.

"Now I'm feeling a little lucky," Haruka breathed into his ear.

As usual, Kantarou tried to coax the Tengu to reconsider. His eyes became sparkly and he reasoned, "come on, Haruka, this doesn't necessarily make you lucky. How about we go buy a lottery ticket or try out a little gambling . . . perhaps that will prove if you're lucky or not."

"I think I'd rather spend time with you," Haruka purred seductively.

"Really now, Haruka, that's awfully flattering and all, but I think we should be doing something less physical?"

"Are you still scared?" Haruka brushed a clawed hand along the jaw line of Kantarou's right cheek. The silver haired man meekly nodded. "However do you think you'll get over this fear if you'll never try again?" At that question Kantarou looked up at him while shrugging. "So what will your answer be?"

"No."

"No, eh?" Haruka laughed and released his Master. "I guess it can't be helped, it's really too bad."

Chapter 22: END


	23. Where Are You Now?

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Warning ahead of time, there will be unanswered questions mainly because I wanted it that way. I leave them up to your imagination. Think. XD

Breathe  
Chapter 23: Where Are You Now?  
By: LadyYuina

Youko hadn't the slightest clue where she ended up once she went through the huge door. Suzu and Ichi were no longer with her, she was all alone. All around her the fox youkai saw white curtains drawn away from windows as shiny as a sparkly diamond. Right in front of her was a desk with a little fairy-like creature sitting there. She found it funny that she hadn't noticed the creature sooner.

"Hi there, welcome to the afterlife," the little creature greeted. It's long fluttery green lashes moved with quick speed as it looked up and down. Its long, sharp ears wiggled as it spoke again. "Ah, I see, you're Youko. A fox youkai that was the servant of a spiritualist named Kantarou, yada, yada, yada, hmmm . . ."

"Err . . . Excuse me," Youko finally said. She looked down at the creature none too friendly. "Who exactly are you?"

"Oh, excuse me for not introducing myself." The little creature fluttered its long green lashes some more. The blue tunic it was wearing swayed with movement as it jiggled around a bit. "Ahem, my name is Jio and I'm the keeper of the time of the afterlife. Seems to me like you've just arrived here." It thumbed through several pages of a book that was in front of it. The paper looked so brittle and yellow with age that Youko was sure it was going to crumble with every flip of a page. "What category did they put you under . . . I wonder . . ."

"Um, there was this friend of mine . . . Rosary . . . Can you tell me which category and plane she was sent to?"

"Rosary . . . She never came through here, but I can pinpoint her exact location." Jio thumbed through some more pages. He looked up a moment later and smiled. "However, I can't tell you that information, it's confidential."

"Confidential?"

"Yup, you heard me correctly, it's confidential information. Anyhow, enough about her, what I really need to do is to focus on you." Jio looked down at his book once more, completely oblivious to Youko's angry glare. Without looking up he said, "you're in the fox category, plane twelve. Oho, it's not bad! Well, tata!"

"Waaiiiitttttt!" Youko wailed as she felt the ground beneath her give way. She was now falling faster and faster . . .

----------

"The orb!"

"It's glowing!"

Rustling could be heard in the pitch black room. Faces were illuminated by the glow of the crystalline ball.

"Hurry and bring the other thing."

"It's right here."

"I hope you guys know what you are doing?"

Someone tsked. "Of course it will work, if it's just like what he did I'm sure we can't fail."

"Stop contradicting yourself . . ."

"Enough, everyone! Silence! The orb is about to reach it's limit!"

All became still as twenty-six pairs of eyes watched in awe.

----------

Monk Nanao and monk Sanji sat atop a hill and quietly watched a flock of birds merrily pick at the short, young grass. They hadn't met up with each other for years, although they were now together they still had many issues that weren't solved yet.

"Today is an absolutely lovely day, don't you agree?" Monk Sanji asked, slowly shielding his poor eyes from the sun's rays as he looked upward towards the sky.

"Indeed it is," monk Nanao commented. "This reminds me of the good old days."

"When you and that child with silver hair used to frolic here?"

"Not playing, more like talking to the dead," Nanao corrected him. "Kantarou had a lot of talent, I could have put him to good use if only he hadn't left me."

"It's a shame." Sanji pulled out a bottle of sake and two sake cups from the brown satchel that he was carrying with him. "How about we drink to our heart's content, then. I know how you feel, monk Nanao, even I've lost someone that could have been a great asset to me. Sadly though, her mother told me she passed away several years ago."

"Do you mean the girl named Dirina?" Sanji sagely nodded. "Ah . . . her . . . She came over to my home before, a very pretty maiden if you ask me. You wouldn't believe it, Sanji," Nanao let out a belly laugh, "she took a fancy to my little Kantarou."

"Oh?"

"Poor Kantarou hadn't the slightest clue that he could do that to girls when he was a child."

"Monk Nanao, I hate your good looks . . . You still look young while I'm ragged and old, I even have white hair down here." He pointed to the indicated spot between his legs. "Your parents must have been gorgeous even when they were well beyond their years."

Nanao smirked. "That was a random outburst"

"I was simply speaking what was on my mind. Anyhow, do you use some kind of herb brew that keeps your wrinkles away?"

"No, of course not! It's all natural!" Monk Nanao reached for a sake cup and examined it. It's jade green color was pleasing to his eyes. "This sake cup looks beautiful, it reminds me of a fresh new start, evergreens, life . . ." He tilted the cup to let the cold liquid travel down his throat. "Even the sake tastes new."

"Hahahaha, it was brewed last week," Sanji informed him, "I got this from an old woman back up in the mountains."

"About the mountains, I've always wondered why you went up there?"

"Dirina was getting too dependent on me so I decided to leave for a while. It never crossed my mind that I would have actually spent over ten years up there. Dirina's mother told me she changed drastically once I left, having so much impact on a child can be scary, no?" Monk Nanao bobbed his head up and down in agreement. "Hahaha, I'm sure you must have left some impact on that boy of yours as well."

"I did," monk Nanao replied quietly, "although it wasn't a great enough of an impact to make him wish to stay with me."

"Mind telling me why he left?"

"I would like to but I'm running short on time. Perhaps we can do this again in the near future. Just don't go dieing on me you old geezer," Nanao joked. "Remember that our little conversation isn't over yet."

Monk Sanji watched Nanao walk away, during the whole time that they were talking he couldn't help but feel uneasy around him. Why did monk Nanao look the same age as he did back then? Sanji had known him ever since they were twenty-nine, Nanao didn't look much older than thirty-five while he looked well into his late forties, early fifties. There wasn't even a wrinkle on Nanao's face either, when he is supposedly forty-seven himself much like Sanji was.

"Nanao, you have been keeping something from me for far too long," Sanji said to himself.

----------

"Kantarou . . . I can't believe I'd see you again." He was dimly aware that someone was brushing the top of his head. "Kantarou . . . you've . . . you've grown so much, but you still have that adorable quality to you."

"Your voice," he said quietly. Where he was he couldn't see the woman's face other than her clothing and long, flowing black hair. "I almost remember."

"What did they do to you?" she asked.

"I don't know . . ."

Without warning Kantarou was roughly slammed against a cemented wall. He sputtered out in pain. Sharp, brown eyes looked at him angrily, "that bitch, what did she say to you? You better tell me before I rip your guts out of your stomach!"

"What are you talking about?" Kantarou grimaced when Dirina tightened her hold on his arm.

"Don't play stupid with me, I know she did talk to you. Now, tell me what she said."

"I don't know!" Kantarou raised the arm with the bracelet on it, Dirina instantly recoiled and hissed. As angry as he was himself, he didn't realize that the thirteen bells started to glow an eerie blue, Dirina watched, astonished. "I've had enough of you! You're no Dirina, you're just a carcass that stole her identity, I'm sure of it!"

----------

"Now!"

"He's activated them, hurry everyone before it's too late!"

"Don't lose your way when you go through!"

"You ready, Suzu?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Don't disappoint us."

"I-I won't."

----------

"What-what's happening!"

Rekkugen appeared on the scene to see Kantarou's stretched out left arm. From each bell on his bracelet he saw spirits flying out from each one of them. Standing side by side they each started to chant in procession with a large orb floating above them.

"Don't hurt Kantarou!" Suzu shouted at the top of her lungs through all the noise.

"You bastards!" Dirina screeched.

"Kantarou!" Suzu shouted again.

A white light filled the entire room, during this moment Dirina was sucked into the orb and sealed forever. Dasarani snatched the floating orb and guarded it with her body. From Suzu's line of vision she could still see Kantarou silently screaming in pain, it seemed like his life force was being drained in order to hold the thirteen spirits in the world of the living.

"Stop this, Dasarani, we're finished. Let's go now," Suzu pleaded. Her eyes looked from the spirit to Kantarou, worry was clearly etched on her features.

"Not quite, Suzu, we still have him to deal with." Dasarani pointed to the snarling figure standing by the doorway. "Even without her he can still wreck havoc on the world. It's too dangerous to let him remain where he is now."

"Can't you see Kantarou is dying!" Suzu sounded desperate.

"One sacrifice to save the entire fate of Japan is well worth it. Let him be," Zaitsu replied.

"He's dying, dammit! I . . . I can't let that happen!" Snatching the orb from Dasarani, Suzu smashed it on the ground. A million little shards flew about all over the floor. The other twelve spirits watched in horror at what Suzu had just done. She released Dirina from her encasement. "I'm going back! You'll be sucked in with me!"

"Suzu, you mustn't!"

"Stop, Suzu!"

"Don't let her reach the bell!"

It was too late. Suzu dived in, causing the others to follow suit even though they refused to. As soon as they all left Kantarou blackened out instantly, head lulled to the side with beads of sweat covering his brow.

"Those . . ." Dirina started breathing hard as she fell to her hands and knees. ". . .they actually sealed me."

"Dirina," Rekkugen said, "haul Kantarou to the bed and watch over him. Perhaps we can use him somehow, one of the thirteen spirits seems to be attached to him. She must have known him when she was alive." He brushed a hand through his night colored hair. "Heh, they went so far as recruiting a child as the replacement for him, eh? How ironic."

Dirina sat by Kantarou as he was resting on the uncomfortable bed. She scowled at him as she waged war with her inner being.

**Let me see him.**

Shut the hell up!

**Let me see Kantarou!**

I've dominated over you and her so shut the hell up! You can't tell me what to do, this is my body now!

**If only you never existed . . .**

You created me so blame that on yourself.

**One day . . . I'll surely break away from you and her. Just you watch . . .**

Empty threats mean nothing to me, you stupid bitch. Leave me alone now before I kill this irritating man.

**You can't**

Oh?

**Because I won't let you. And you know it, too.**

----------

"She ruined our plan! That impudent child! Why was she chosen to be one of us anyway?" Tou argued. He was clearly angry that Dirina was allowed to escape all because of a stupid child spirit.

Amid all the arguing of spirits Suzu was subjected to their wrath by being seated in a chair in a center of a circle. She knew what she did was unacceptable, now all she had to do was await for the consequences for her actions. In the vast sea of noise the only thing that penetrated through her were Kantarou's screams, she could still hear them as if they were happening at this exact moment. Eyes burning with anger she didn't care what she had to go through as long as Kantarou was all right.

A spirit by the name of Hikei leaned towards Dasarani, whispering, "since Suzu released Dirina what do you suspect we do to her? She could literally be subjugated to anything we have due to the heaviness of her immature feelings for that man." He sighed and backed away a little when Dasarani turned to him. "Although she is only a child she is dead, her mind and heart should have aged if not her body."

"Then put her in sector 13. She can stay in there for the rest of eternity for all I care."

"If that's what you'd like but we can't bring forth that order until we have consent of the ten other spirits."

"I know that," Dasarani smirked coolly, "however, by the look on everyone's faces I'm sure they'll happily agree."

Suzu overheard everything all the spirits were saying, from everything that she overheard she had to admit that she was scared. Being tortured or isolated for the rest of eternity was not something that she was looking forward to - if they ever gave her another chance she'd surely let Kantarou die if they attempted such a feat again.

Perhaps it wouldn't so bad if Kantarou passed away. . .

"In conclusion, everyone," Dasarani spoke for the rest, "Hikei and I have decided on placing her in sector 13. Do you all agree?" Murmurs could be heard. "If you agree, raise your hand."

Everyone raised their hands except Ina, Zaitsu, and Rouna. All the other spirits' attention were now aimed at them. They calmly stared at each one of them, studying their expressions carefully - some looked mad, some looked apprehensive, while others looked somewhat regretful.

"It seems," Ina started, tugging at her shirt's sleeve nonchalantly, "everyone has mixed feelings about this."

Dasarani swiveled around to stare at the others, they all squirmed under her gaze. Suzu watched the whole ordeal while sadly shaking her head. Standing up on her own accord she spoke up for herself.

"Just send me to sector 13. I don't mind," Suzu bluffed. In actuality she was so afraid that she had to struggle to stop her legs from shaking. Dasarani looked smug while the other three spirits that tried to defend her looked apologetic. Turning to face them each, Suzu, said, "Zaitsu, Ina, and Rouna, there is nothing to look sorry for. I brought this upon myself so I'll face the consequences."

"But, Suzu . . ."Rouna gave her a wide-eyed stared, she was by far the second youngest spirit next to Suzu.

"Quiet down Rouna, she's made her decision so let her be," Dasarani intervened.

I guess this is the end for me. An eternity of suffering doesn't sound so bad . . .

. . . Does it? . . .

Chapter 23: END


	24. All The Way To That Limit

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Warning ahead of time, there will be unanswered questions mainly because I wanted it that way. I leave them up to your imagination. Think. XD

**English class essay paper delayed me from updating sooner. Sorry everyone. And guess what . . . I'm gonna get another one as soon as this one is turned in. Blame my teacher. XD**

Breathe  
Chapter 24: All The Way To That Limit  
By: LadyYuina

Rekkugen sat down in an agitated manner as he thought back to earlier events. He saw the immense power the spirits had - more so they frightened him when he saw how easily his lover was sealed away. She wasn't weak, she was far from it, but now he understood why she loathed such an item such as the bracelet. It had that much power stored inside the little bells. They even attempted to lock him away, however that child intervened. For an instant at the time she defended Kantarou he saw a clear image of her happy smiling face when she was alive. It was an odd sensation when the little ordeal occurred. It was all too odd.

Still, his thirst and desire to rid the world of humans was still very strong in his mind and heart. He wanted to use the thirteen spirits after having witnessed their awesome powers. He knew with them on his side there would be nothing that would be able to stop him. But damn it all . . . Rekkugen wasn't ignorant to the way they appeared in the world of the living. In order to do that they had to drain the pathetic silver haired man's strength; he knew he couldn't risk letting him perish if he wanted to use them.

"Why are humans so weak?" he asked himself rather dejectedly.

"Haha, the same may for you," he heard someone say.

"You . . ." It was not hard for Rekkugen to recognize the voice of the monk that sealed him away so many years ago. "Its you . . ."

"Yes, its me, monk Nanao. I see you still remember me." A tint of wicked sparkle shone in the monk's eyes. "How was your nap inside that rock I put you in?"

"That is none of your business," Rekkugen snapped. Trying to be slick he ducked and lunged as fast as he could at the monk. To his utter amazement the monk nimbly dodged his clawed attack. What made it worse was that the monk was smiling at him. "You . . . You are unnatural, monk."

"Indeed I am, if I wasn't how would I have sealed you away? You should have known that after several hundreds of monks trying to deal you and none succeeded, it should have brought to mind that a normal monk would never be able to pull it off."

"Heh, you were just lucky back then."

"Well then, I bid thee have a good time. I have no time to waste," monk Nanao said, turning around and walking away.

Rekkugen tried to go after the monk, but after the very first step he realized that his legs were no longer mobile. Try as he might he couldn't find any feeling within them.

"Stay there a while, Rekkugen. There's no need to rush."

Monk Nanao soon disappeared yonder a hill, it wasn't until then that Rekkugen was allowed movement again.

----------

Kantarou stirred for a moment before fully awaking, sitting up stiffly he stretched his right arm which sent a jolt of pain at his attempted stretching to un-cramp it. It took him a few seconds before he realized that his bracelet was not something he wanted to be near him. Yanking it off his wrist he threw it across the room to let it collide none too gently against the cement wall opposite him.

"About time you got rid of that thing . . . or at least tried to," he heard Dirina say.

"You - didn't they seal you?" Kantarou asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"They did but if you don't recall the rest of it then that's too bad."

"Why am I still here? I was sure that I was going to die . . ."

"Enough of that crap, you're alive because Rekkugen wants you alive, got it?" Kantarou stared at her in disbelief, she had changed so much. She wasn't like the Dirina that he was used to seeing. She seemed more open abut her emotions, and her lack of manners was surprising. "Dammit, they're affecting me!"

"Huh?"

"Kantarou!"

"Shut the fuck up! Get away!"

"Don't listen to her!"

"Kantarou, I know you're there . . . Can you see me?"

"Shut up!"

Kantarou didn't know why her tone of voice kept changing - each voice seemed to have a mind of its own. He couldn't distinguish them from the main counterpart, or rather the body at all.

"There's something strange about you . . ." he took tentative steps away from her ". . . it's as if you're Dirina and not Dirina at the same time."

**That's correct!**

"Oho, don't you even think about it, bitch! He can't hear you this time! I'm in complete control!"

"You're not Dirina," Kantarou stated. "You can't be her because she's already dead!"

"I am her!" Now it was Dirina's turn to take several steps forward to get closer to Kantarou. Her green shawl became long forgotten when she let it slide down her shoulders onto the ground, and her long black hair flowed behind her for the briefest of time. Sharp golden brown eyes narrowed angrily down at the red-eyed man. "I am Dirina. How many times must I tell you that?"

"No matter how many times you say it I'll never believe you; she's already dead. I've seen her grave with my own eyes."

"Kan--"

"Silence! Don't speak!"

"She's within you, isn't she?" Kantarou finally realized why he heard so many different voices before. It was all clear to him now - Dirina had split personalities, but that didn't explain how she was still alive and moving. Regretting that he'd tossed his bracelet away - if he'd had it with him he could've deflected this foul woman. "Dirina . . . If you can hear me I want you to say something." Nothing happened. "Dirina . . ."

"Shut up, you fool!" Dirina snapped.

"Dirina," Kantarou said in a more commanding tone, "if you can hear me, say something that will make me believe its you." The only thing he received as a response was Dirina lifting him up by the gi and slamming him hard onto the ground. He cried out in pain as blood sputtered from his mouth.

**Let me speak to him!**

"You will do no such thing . . . you'll never come out again."

"Dirina, enough, didn't I tell you not to kill the boy?" Rekkugen barked by the doorway. He then came to Kantarou's side. As best as he could he tried to imitate Haruka. "A-are you all right?"

"Haruka?" Kantarou whispered hopefully, his glassy red eyes wavered with apprehension.

"Yes, its me, Kantarou." He held one of the spiritualist's hands in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze of assurance. Looking up he saw Dirina giving him a look of utter disbelief. Slightly snarling, he warned her with his eyes not to blow his cover, for it was rather in his idea that he wanted her to play along. She jumped on the opportunity immediately.

"Darn it. I thought I fully had Rekkugen back too!" she faked, and tried to look angry.

Kantarou was rather bemused, although he didn't believe for a second that Haruka was truly back. Despite how well Rekkugen was acting at the moment he was sure it was not him. Gently pushing what he supposed was Rekkugen away he gazed into his eyes intently - what he saw there was not something he expected to see. Indeed, they were the eyes of Haruka's soft and gentle brown-hued eyes filled with worry. Nevertheless, his eyes strayed to his bracelet not too far away from him. Rekkugen seemed to have caught onto his gaze and knew what he was exactly staring at.

"It's too dangerous to try and think about that now; we must find a way to get rid of that evil witch first." Kantarou looked on with uncertainty. It didn't sound like Rekkugen was lying, yet based upon his actions he couldn't determine what was going to happen.

"You? Get rid of me? Don't make me laugh!" Dirina mocked.

She was enjoying this stupid little charade too much to notice Kantarou inching towards his bracelet. With great speed he threw it at her, and upon contact all thirteen spirits came tumbling out. Confused, they looked around for a moment.

"We're in the world of the living once more," Zaitsu announced.

"Quick! The orb!" Ina reminded Dasarani.

This time Dirina wasn't going to fall for the same trick again. Even as the orb was hoisted into the air the wind witch used her powers to blow the orb in her general direction. Smirking, Dirina held the orb within her grasp as the spirits watched her angrily.

**I . . . I can't let this continue any longer.**

From within Dirina felt unbearable pain, it was ripping at her mind trying to devour her. Despite this she still had a firm hold over the orb that had the power to seal away her forever. The spirits, Kantarou, and Rekkugen watched as Dirina howled and screamed - it was as if she was fighting herself from within. Struggling to keep a hold on the orb she fiercely punched herself. It didn't take long for her to drop it though, and the lucky spirit that saved it was Suzu.

"Kantarou!" they all heard Dirina cry out. "Please kill me! I'm so sorry! I . . . I didn't mean to cause you any trouble!"

"Shut the hell up! How many times must I tell you!"

"You shut the hell up! I'm talking to Kantarou now and you shall no longer interfere!" Her voice echoed all around the room. With tears now streaming down her face, she continued. "After all this time, Kantarou, I was powerless to stop her from hurting you. I was so powerless to do anything . . . Please, the thirteen spirits, seal me away. I no longer belong in this world. It's all my fault that everyone had to suffer."

"I remember you now!" Kantarou finally shouted. "I saw you when I was only a child. You were the one to give me the thirteen belled bracelet. I remember that day clearly. How could I have forgotten?"

"Yes, that was me. I'm glad that you remembered the true me. Thank you."

The thirteen spirits didn't hesitate to lock the demonic woman. It wasn't long until she was safely inside the orb once more. In this instance the spirits were drawn to the bells again since they didn't have the energy to contain themselves in the world of the living.

Kantarou watched Suzu sadly as she inched closer and closer towards a certain bell. A shroud of smoke encircled all of the spirits before they disappeared completely within the twinkling yellow wonders.

----------

"What . . . Where am I?"

Haruka was distinctly aware that he was immobile until now, it even occurred to him that he met a monk as well. The name was a passing memory but he remembered his face and clothes clearly. And the last thing he remembered doing was drinking Dirina's disgusting concoction.

"Dirina . . ."

----------

"Dasarani?" Suzu asked.

"What is it?" She looked down at the child in an irritated manner.

"About my . . ."

"It's all right, Suzu," the girl turned to face Zaitsu, "she's had your punishment revoked. You'll remain with us."

"But why?"

"Back there in the realm of the living you showed great courage. You dived for the orb while the rest of us stood there and watched, and I'm ashamed that I didn't try to do something myself."

"Thank you, everyone!"

Zaitsu smiled while Dasarani shrugged, though she slightly blushed under Suzu's watchful eyes.

"At least everything's back to normal. That's all that matters, and as for Rekkugen - he is no more."

"Huh?"

"If you don't know already then that's too bad, Suzu," Dasarani teased, and shoved the center Suzu's nostrils gently upward to make a pig's nose.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Come on."

"I said no."

"Hmph."

----------

Monk Sanji traveled along the worn dirt road that he was trekking on. During his midday walk towards the local village he ran into a child that reminded him very much of Dirina, in fact the resemblance to her was uncanny. If monk Sanji didn't know any better he would have thought that Dirina was reborn within this child.

"Hi, Mister, wanna play?" the child had asked. Her sparkly brown eyes danced with merriment as she waited for his response.

"I'm simply passing through, but thank you for the invitation . . ."

"It's Mizu, my name is Fukaami Mizu!"

"Yes, Mizu, thank you for the offer. Now please excuse me, I must be on my way now. I have very important business to attend to in the village. You don't want to delay this old man much longer now, do you?"

"What's your name, Mister?" Mizu simply asked.

"You can call me monk Sanji."

"You're a monk?" He nodded. "Ooohhhh! I love monk sutras. I collect them as a hobby but the other village children thinks it's stupid."

"It's not stupid at all, Mizu." He patted her tenderly on the head, and she glowed with happiness. "I'm glad that you haven't let them bother you with their jealous lies."

"Don't you have sutras on you?" she asked. "If you do can I have one?"

"Certainly. I have them in red and white, which color would you prefer?"

"Red. It's the color of blood, you know," the child informed the monk, acting as if he already didn't know that. "I always collect red sutras whenever I can."

"My, my, you're quite the morbid type, aren't you?"

Mizu shrugged. "It's a fact though, and the color red does resemble blood and blood associates with death. No matter how one dies they usually bleed unless they were poisoned or something like that. But yeah, I'm pretty knowledgeable about death when it comes down to it."

"Well now, I must be off to the village. It was nice meeting you, Mizu."

Before the monk could take more than three steps Mizu stopped him in his tracks with what she said.

"I wouldn't go there if I were you. The whole place is covered in the color red. That's why I'm not over there; sometimes the color red disturbs me."

"What do you mean?" Monk Sanji asked, bewildered by the child's statement.

Smiling cheekily, she said, "can I have a red sutra now? You said you were going to give me one."

"Oh, yes, yes." He stuck a hand into his knack sack that he kept with him. He handed her a white sutra instead of red. "Here you are, Mizu."

"Hey, you said you'd give me a red one!" she whined.

"I'm sorry, I ran out of the red ones," the monk lied. "Looks like you'll have to take the white one instead."

"About the village . . . I wasn't lying, its really covered in the color of red. If you do go there you'll see what I mean."

Indeed monk Sanki found out what she meant. What he perceived as a death warrant was actually a town festival that celebrated the bloom of the red carnation flower. He chuckled lightly to himself.

"You fooled me there, Mizu. You really fooled me."

Chapter 24: END


	25. The Story Unfolds

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: This is my final chapter for "Breathe" and it will be followed up by an epilogue which you get with this chapter as well. XD Like I said before there will be unanswered questions because I want to leave that up to your imaginations. But who knows . . . maybe I might make a sequel that explains the unexplained in this story. (Now this is only a thought, I might not act upon it.) And I'd like to THANK everyone that has reviewed and I'd really like to THANK a tons to the ones that reviewed for every chapter thus far. It's because of those few that I have made it this far and finished this story. **THANK YOU for the motivation. **(.(Hugz).) :-D

Breathe  
Chapter 25: The Story Unfolds  
By: LadyYuina

Ever since the day Dirina was sealed away and Haruka's transformation back to normal, the spiritualist and the Tengu were feeling quite uncomfortable around one another. Many things were left unanswered between the two, and it was only a matter of time until one of them spoke first.

The carnation festival had sprung upon them without so much as a notice. Today at this very moment Kantarou was getting ready for it. Hidden behind a shoji screened door he quickly undressed himself of his usual attire to put on something more elaborate. Within the confines of the ricer-papered walls Kantarou held out a white undergarment to slip on. After that an extremely thin layer of a light red-colored robe came next, and lastly but not least a bright red carnation decorated kimono finished it off. Kantarou fastened a red sash around his waist and the outfit was complete.

"Today . . ." Kantarou said to himself, "I suppose I play an important role in this festival. It's been so long since I've participated . . ."

Looking down at a box beside his feet he took out a fan and hat to accommodate with his outfit. They weren't necessary but optional. He simply chose to choose them.

"I'm ready, Haruka." He slid the shoji screened door open and stepped out into the sunlight. Looking around he saw that Haruka was nowhere in sight. "Haruka?"

"I'm up here." Haruka peered down at his Master and blushed. He could actually feel his cheeks flaming with color. "You look gorgeous."

Kantarou, in turn, turned beet red himself and fumbled with his hands for a moment. Even though they were a couple in actuality, it felt like they had just met each other all over again. Sprouting out his black wings, Haruka flew down from the roof to stand beside the spiritualist. He tentatively rubbed a hand along the soft silk material of Kantarou's carnation imprinted kimono.

"Your kimono is really soft," Haruka whispered.

"Th-thank you."

Without looking at his lover, Haruka asked, "why are you participating in this carnation festival? Its there something significant to it?"

"Sort of, I'd rather tell you things through a play than words. It's a bit hard for me to speak about it, hopefully you'll understand."

"I understand. I'm just simply being selfish . . ."

"You're not selfish; not at all!" Kantarou tried to prove him wrong. "What happened to you or anyone, or whatever you did was not your fault! I know you were just trying to protect me!"

"That is quite selfish, Kantarou. I only thought about protecting you . . . no one else. And . . ." Haruka fell to his knees while tugging at Kantarou's kimono sleeves roughly, thus bringing him down with him, ". . .I took advantage of the privilege, and in the long run I only ended up hurting you and other people."

"It's all over already, Haruka, you're fine now. Trust me." Gentle tears fell from Kantarou's eyes as he cupped Haruka's cheeks with his soft hands. "You've been forgiven."

"Still, during the time that I was Rekkugen I'm sure that I must have hurt you in some way." Kantarou tried his best not to flinch, but it didn't work. "See? I did hurt you."

"No! Of course you--"

"There's no need to lie, Kantarou. It's a lot better if I knew the truth than you hiding it from me. Perhaps it'd help me better manage myself if I knew everything, you know?"

"Yes, I understand . You'll see everything later in the play I shall participate in. Till then please wait."

"Okay."

----------

Monk Sanji was in awe at the beautiful scenery of the festival grounds. What he had suspected wasn't it at all; the little girl named Mizu was a very smart child. She knew how to choose her words wisely, either way it was rather funny as well when he thought about it.

Feeling somewhat tired monk Sanji sat down on a nearby noodle stands' bench. It surprised him when he saw Mizu again. She was sitting beside him and smiling.

"Hi again!" she said. "Remember me?"

"Yes, I remember you. You made me think--"

"That this town was a bloody bath town?" He dumbly nodded. "Hahahaha, you're so gullible, monk Sanji. Well, when I say something like that it's only during the red carnation festival. If you already knew about that, then you wouldn't been fooled, eh?"

"I suppose so," monk Sanji replied.

"I know you have reds sutras; give me, give me, give, give me one!" Mizu begged. "Please! I really want a red one! It'll match our surroundings more, ya know."

"First off, let me ask you questions, Mizu."

"Sure." Mizu sat more comfortably on the bench; it seemed like this was going to take a while.

"About this red carnation festival - why is it celebrated?"

"Ah, that's easy. This festival is a local one and its only for this town. Here we use the red carnation as a sign of a death flower. Later on when it gets cooler during the evening families that have lost loved ones bring red carnations to their graves and chat with them." Monk Sanji have her a perplexed look. "Not literally talk to them, but you talk in your thoughts and hope that your loved ones, or loved one can hear it wherever they are. After that, that's where the fun begins; if you thought it was all doom and gloom then you're mistaken."

"I see."

"And if you thought it was a celebration simply for pleasure you are also mistaken. To us it's a little bit of both, you can't have all the bad with the good, ya know. Oh, yeah." Mizu reached inside the slit of her obi and produced a thin ticket of some sort. "Please do come to this play event my father is hosting; it's free admission for you. Here." She handed him the ticket. "It starts at seven p.m. this evening so please be there, okay?"

"I'll come check it out."

"All right! Now that I've explained the festival to you I think I'll be on my way then. Bye-bye, monk Sanji, it was nice meeting up with you once more!"

"Same here. Take care, Mizu."

Monk Sanji turned around on his bench and ordered a steaming bowl of noodles. He vaguely noticed that Mizu left without ever getting a red sutra from him.

----------

"What's the matter, Muu-chan?" her husband asked of her.

"Mu-muu-muuuuu . . ."

"They're all right. They can take care of themselves; stop being such a worrywart about him all the time. I'm your husband, not him," Sugino made sure to note.

"Muuu-mu!"

"What of it?"

"Mu!"

"You wanna go, huh? Fine then, I'll go with you."

"Muu?"

"Yes, really."

Picking up his wife Sugino flew off into the distance towards the town bathed in the color red.

----------

Kantarou was quiet as he rode on Haruka's back towards the town of carnations. At this precise moment he took the time to reflect on the past events of the following week.

(LAST WEEK)

I can still remember the look on Suzu's face before she left me once more. She looked so cute with her precious smile - she was a dear friend.

"Kantarou . . . what happened just now?" Haruka asked, completely confused by all that had transpired.

"Dirina can finally rest in peace, after all these years she's finally found her true destination."

_Indeed, she did find where she rightfully belonged. All this time when I heard that certain voice, it was hers . . . Why hadn't I realized it sooner? And the other voices that I've heard, they must have belonged to the other spirits. That one shadowed figure of a child, it must have been. Who would have guessed?_

"You mean that was really her?"

"Yeah."

"Kantarou, I was him, wasn't I?"

_Haruka did transform into Rekkugen . . . His old self was really scary. Rekkugen doesn't suit him - I think the name Haruka does. And no, he is not my slave such as Rekkugen claims, he is a lover and a friend. He'll never be a servant of mine. Sometimes even I wonder why we humans have the power to name certain beings and claim them as our own. It's almost like having children._

"I'm sorry, truly sorry for what you must have gone through." Kantarou shrugged. "It's not something to be taken lightly; while I was Rekkugen I could have killed you."

"Where were you when Rekkugen was here in this world?" Kantarou wanted to change the person of topic choice to Haruka.

"I . . . I was in a dream, it was very peaceful. In that dream we made love. I swore it felt so real."

Kantarou blushed and turned away abruptly, embarrassed to hear Haruka saying such a thing as he did.

_So, during those times he was in a dream, huh? Yet, he wouldn't keep his mind out of the gutter; that's so typical of him. I shouldn't be surprised by something like that. I should already know how he acts. If . . . If I don't know this then . . . Then that means that I still have to learn more about him. There are still things I do not know that I ought to find out about._

"Kantarou."

"Eh?"

"About that little dream - we didn't make love. I was only joking."

"Joking? You bastard!" Kantarou slapped Haruka soundly across the top of his head.

_Then again, Haruka can be an ass sometimes as well. That I know more than enough of. Perhaps I do know Haruka more than I originally anticipated._

"You make it sound as if you wanted us to have done it in my dream."

"No!"

Haruka smiled. "Admit it."

"I have nothing to admit to; nothing at all."

_Heh, it's already almost like a normal day when Dirina disappeared into the orb before my eyes not too long ago. I should be disturbed by all this, though I'm not. Shouldn't I be?_

(BACK TO THE PRESENT)

Down below them Kantarou could already see a lot of people gathering round near the festival grounds. Even the seats for the play were fully occupied - there didn't seem to be a spot for Haruka. Scanning around some more Kantarou caught a glimpse of a monk, and by instinct he thought he was monk Nanao.

"Haruka, go closer down towards the crowd."

"I can't do that. Normal people will freak out," Haruka warned.

"So. Just go down there; I think there's someone I know down there." Kantarou squinted his eyes and looked at the monk more closely. He couldn't get a clear shot of his face so he couldn't be too sure. "Come on, Haruka, go lower."

"No."

"Come on! I'm your Master, surely you have to listen to me!"

"Hang on. I'll put you down soon enough. He's seated, so it's not like that friend of yours is going anywhere anytime soon. He's probably going to watch you perform," Haruka explained.

"You might be right." Kantarou bit his bottom lip in painful anticipation.

Once they were on the ground Kantarou had been situated behind the stage with the other performers. Once it was his turn to dance he stepped out onto the stage and looked around at the audience closely. His spirits fell when the monk he assumed was Nanao wasn't him.

"It's not him?" Kantarou asked himself.

The announcer spoke up then. "Here we have the performer known as Ichinomiya Kantarou." A round of applause could be heard. When it died down the announcer continued. "He is going to perform a dance that portrays something by the name of 'Rekkugen' . Sounds exciting, doesn't it?" More cheers erupted from the crowd. "Okay! Let the show continue!"

During the dance three beings amongst the crowd were transfixed by the dance. Three pairs of eyes, six orbs in total watched in fascination. One belonged to a girl, another to a monk, and the last to a Tengu. Each in their own way was affected by the dance. Once it ended Haruka understood everything. Kantarou did an excellent job of displaying the story through a dance.

The crowd applauded loudly when Kantarou waltzed off the stage while flushing clearly in the face.

----------

Kantarou felt all of his burden leave him; he was finally free. Even the child within him that clung to Suzu finally let her go. It was not healthy to cling to the dead. Back behind the stage Kantarou cried his eyes out - a new light was brought upon his life simply because he was feeling weightless. It wasn't that all his burdens were going to disappear though, more surely was going to come his way. However, for now, he was as free as a bird. Nothing could stop him from soaring high into the sky. Absolutely nothing.

"You did great out there. I thoroughly enjoyed it," Haruka said from behind him.

The spiritualist merely smiled and nodded.

----------

Muu-chan and Sugino never made it in time to see the play, but they did show up to the festival.

Mizu was overly captivated by the dance, for she was so amazed that she wanted to meet Kantarou in person. So she searched for him throughout the festival grounds.

Suzu remained with the other twelve spirits. She enjoyed her life as a ghost as she watched over Kantarou from above. After much abided time she received some respect from the oppressive spirit, Dasarani.

Rosary and Youko remained in heaven - they were ghosts in two different planes and times, yet they met new people, new names, and left their pasts behind them. Though they never forgot.

Hasumi resumed a normal life. After much mourning he allowed himself to let Rosary go when he heard her voice one night in his dreams. What he heard made him really happy and it was enough for him.

Monk Sanji never found out the answers he wanted to know about his fellow monk friend, Nanao. Still, it just so happened that he never saw him again. Sometimes some things can't be helped.

As for monk Nanao, he's enshrouded in mystery even to this present day. It was never told how he made Haruka revert back to the present Tengu he is now, and it is still unknown as he why he looks so young. Also, in Kantarou's heart and mind he was sure he'd meet this elusive monk again someday.

Maybe it might be on a rainy day . . . Maybe.

Chapter 25: END


	26. Epilogue: Beyond the Grave

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura, got it?

A/N: Once again, thank you!

Breathe  
Epilogue: Beyond the Grave  
By: LadyYuina

Kantarou managed to retrieve the story that contained his life. He leafed through the pages, eyes scanning over what he had written in the past few months. He read over a certain part; a part that had something to do with him receiving a scar. It seemed like he would never find out, but his guesses were narrowed down to two people.

Closing the hand crafted book which was bound by blue-dyed leather, Kantarou hugged it close to his chest as he watched Haruka dig a deep, small hole beside Dirina's grave. It was in his heart and mind that she get to read it. He hoped beyond all hopes that it'd reach her in the afterlife.

"The hole is almost deep enough," the Tengu told the spiritualist. He turned to him and gave Kantarou a serious look. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You never found out why that other Dirina wanted it?" Kantarou shook his head. "I see . . . That's really too bad."

"She probably only wanted to torture me, or perhaps the real Dirina inside her wanted to know more about me. And what better way than doing so in the form of a story?"

"True." Haruka eyed the book for a moment. "Have you decided on a title yet?"

"Yeah. Writing this has taught me a lot about things that revolve around wanting to die or live. It's made me wiser in a way, and although I titled the story, 'Breathe', I think that one words holds a lot of meanings behind it. All you really need to do is think about it."

_Despite the fact that I never found out how you've exactly become this way, I know it no longer matters. In the end you finally found your true self. Sometimes, I've realized, it's best to leave some things unanswered._

THE END . . .


End file.
